Summer turned into Fall, which then turned into Winter. The days are now shorter and colder. I don't really mind. I've actually come to like the wintertime. The snow is pure and white, I don't have to worry about my flowers dying thanks to the underground garden, and best of all: there are less bombing attempts during the winter. I don't know why bombers prefer warmer weather. Maybe it has to do with having a higher priority for keeping warm then planting bombs. Maybe the shorter days make them less active. Whatever the case, I welcome the decrease in bombing attempts. It gives me more free time and less to worry about.
Being that there was no mission for any of us today, we all got together and played a game of Basketball in the gym. I'm terrible at Basketball. It's weird. I can defuse a multi trigger bomb with a complex rats nest of wiring, but I can't make the ball go into that metal circle unless I'm absurdly close to it. The ball likes to get away from me as I'm trying to dribble and run with it. It's okay though. No one keeps score, we all have fun, and it's a welcome break from defusing said multi trigger bomb.
After the game was over, we all hit the showers. The showers are basiclly stalls with no doors on them. With the noise of the water running, no one could hear someone sneaking up behind them. I got an idea... I snuck over to where Dominic was showering. I quietly watched for a couple minutes while he washed himself, totally oblivious to the fact that he was giving me quite a good view of his body... Then he turned around and noticed I was there.
"Why are you over here Carissa?" he asked.
I slowly walked up to him and put my hand on his chest. "I thought maybe we could shower together." I said.
I took some soap and lathered up my breasts, then I stepped into the stream of warm water and felt the soap running down my body.
"Please go back to your shower. You know I'm not comfortable with this." he said.
I turned around and left him to finish showering. I was disappointed, but it was disappointment that I was used to now. On the way back to my shower, I saw Chloe and Michael showering together, though they were doing more then showering... I watched as they kissed each other. He began to rub shampoo into her long black hair, then onto her breasts... I sighed, then returned to my shower.
Dominic has actually warmed up to me these past few months, but he still keeps a level of emotional distance from me. I know he likes me, but he doesn't want to show it, and he hides it so well that at times I'm not sure that he cares about me at all. Just when I think he doesn't care about me anymore, I'll get a gift from him, or he shows me some affection and warmth. It's enough to make me sure again that he likes me.
I've been wondering whether or not to tell him about what I remember from my past, but I don't know how he'd take it. I once asked him about my past, just to see how he'd react, and he quickly changed the subject. I had a dream not too long ago that I told him, and that he took me to one of the reprogramming chairs and that I ended up being retarded... I've been rather discouraged from telling him since that dream.
After I finished showering, I went into the garden room to pick some more flowers. I've been slowly working on a flower wreath to decorate my quarters with. I have it about a third of the way done. It's a long term project. It takes a lot of flower stems to make a wreath, and those flowers need time to grow. It's coming along nicely though. I have the stems weaved into a nice pattern, with flowers poking through the top of the wreath.
After I weaved in a few more flowers, I decided to get ready to go out and eat lunch somewhere. I was going to have something light, most likely a salad, because Chloe was making dinner for all of us and I wanted to be good and hungry by then. Last week she made a wonderful Itallian dish whose name escapes me. Tonight she was making Barbecued chicken, a diversion from the type of food she usually makes, but I was certain that it would be delicious.
Thinking about the food that Chloe would be serving was making me hungrier. I selected a nice shirt and pants to wear, and grabbed my jacket and boots. Above ground it was snowing, the first snow of the season. I also put a wedding ring around my finger as part of my cover. I took the elevator up to the surface and left one of our cover buildings to venture out into the city.
I went to a nice little diner to have lunch at. It was one of those small diners that's almost always packed regardless of what time of day it is. The place is well worn, and the decor is a good 15 years out of date, but they have the best salads in the city. Only Chloe can make a better salad.
I ordered a chicken salad, then waited for them to make it. As I sat there, I noticed this guy heading towards me. He introduced himself as Joe and began to flirt with me. I didn't mind too much. However, when my salad arrived, I wanted to enjoy it in peace. He asked me what I did for a living, and I showed him the ring and said that I was happily married to a businessman. He retreated and found someone else to flirt with, and I was left to enjoy my salad.
The snow crunched under my feet as I left the diner. Now that I was no longer starving, and I had gotten out to see the sun and breathe some fresh, cool air, my mind went back to Dominic in the shower... I knew what I was going to be doing when I got back to my quarters... If I wanted to, I could probably find someone to have sex with. That guy back at the diner would have likely taken me up on it. I couldn't do that though. As strange as it might sound, I think that it would be betraying Dominic if I did something like that. The ring around my finger may only be part of the façade that I wear when in public, but I like to think that it's real, and that I'm really married to Dominic...
Heading back down into the complex, I concentrated on the image of him cleaning himself in the shower. It was a very vivid image, and I suspected it would stay fresh in my mind for a long time. Just thinking about it was making me aroused. My nipples hardened and became more sensitive, and I felt a faint tingle between my legs. I ended up having to to force myself to think about something else. I had to make it back to my quarters before I could start masturbating.
Apart from a short delay to respond to a couple agents who greeted me, the walk back to my quarters was uneventful. My heart started beating faster as I opened the door. I went inside and locked the door behind me. To my surprise, Dominic was there! My heart rate sped up a bit more.
"Er, What are you doing here? Do we have a mission?" I asked.
"No. I wanted to talk to you." he said.
"Okay." I said.
We sat down and faced each other. I did everything I could to banish my excitement and arousal, but it refused to go away. I was so wound up that I was on the verge of sweating.
"Carissa. I've told you before that I find your sexual advances towards me to be uncomfortable, yet you continue to make such advances towards me. I didn't like you spying on me while I was showering. This has gone on long enough, and I want to know why you're doing it." he said in a cold voice.
I went from being on the verge of sweating, to being on the verge of tears. I decided right then and there to tell him everything, and fuck the consequences! If he wanted to fry my brain, then so be it!
"Because I love you okay?! You're the one who saved me from being a sex slave! You gave me a new life and a new purpose!"
"You remember..." he said, not sounding too surprised.
"Fragments... I remember some of the things they used to do to me. I remember Chloe and Zana when they were slaves... I remember some of the things I was forced to do to them... and I remember that you saved me..."
The tears started. I was losing control, and I didn't give a damn anymore.
"If- if you can't have feelings for me because of my past, then I'd r-rather just be made to forget that I love you! It'd be better then going on like I have! So why don't you just fry my brain and--"
Right then, he grabbed me and kissed me! My heart rate sped up again, and I grabbed his head and kissed him back. Our lips were locked together for close to a minute while our tongues probed each others mouths. I almost instantly forgot how upset I had been just a moment ago. When we finally pulled back, I saw a tear starting to form in one of his eyes.
"I'm not going to make you forget again. You've done so well, Carissa. I care about you more then you know. I was so concerned that you'd remember, especally if we ever did have sex, and I was afraid that you'd freak out... But you already remember..." he said.
I smiled contentedly. My arousal was building up again...
"When did you start remembering? Did it just all come back to you one day?" he asked.
"No. I got little flashes here and there. Some of it came in dreams. I don't know when it started, but it wasn't long after I was reprogrammed. I'd see my scars in the mirror and get a flash of what happened to create that scar. I'd see some rope or chain and remember something. As time went on, the flashes became bigger and more complete. There are still some gaps, but I'm sure I remember most of it." I replied.
"You know that you've been programmed by us? Does that make you upset?" he asked.
I smiled. "No. I'd probably be dead by now if I was still a sex slave. Chloe would almost certainly be dead. Zana... who knows..."
I got up and sat down next to him, then I placed my arm on his shoulder. "You saved us. You saved me. Programming or not, I love you for that."
He pulled me close to him. We did more then kissing this time. I could no longer control my arousal. I began to undress him. I felt him removing my shirt and my heart skipped a beat. He was forceful, yet careful at the same time, and it was driving me wild! I felt an orgasm building, and we wern't even having sex yet! I tried to hold back, but once he put his hands on my breasts, I climaxed and went into a post orgasm trance at the worst possible time!
When I came to, I found myself lying in my bed. He was standing above me. One of his hands was caressing my face. He looked calm and thoughtful. I also noticed that he was fully dressed again.
"Are you awake?" he asked.
I nodded.
"I need to go and take care of something. I'll be back in time for Chloe's dnner." he said.
"Wait! Please stay! Tell me what happened." I replied.
He smiled at me, then twirled a few strands of my hair around one of his fingers. "Don't worry Carissa. Things are going to be different now. I really have to go, so lets talk about this later, okay?"
I reluctantly nodded. I watched as he walked away. Before he went through the door, he turned his head and gave me a smile. For some reason, that actually made me feel alot better. I settled back into the bed and closed my eyes. I began to try and remember what had gone on...