Good Evening, Doctor Dan.I am divorced and live alone. My next door neighbors have a 9 year old daughter. I speak with her when her parents and her visit, or I visit her house. Even though she is very pretty, I do not leer at her and my conversation with her is of a very general nature.During the past several weeks, this girl has come to my door 3 times to discuss her school fund-raising projects to which I have contributed in the past. She
always wants to come in, but since I am alone and she has NOT been with her parents, I do not let her. However, earlier today, she visited and wanted to know why I would not let her inside my house. I explained that it would be inappropriate for her and me to be alone. She asked me if I found her attractive; before I could answer she said that she would like to have sex with me. I mumbled that I had to go in and quickly did and closed the door.Should I advise her parents of the girl's behavior?

Don, 48 Male

Hello Don. Let me start by commending you for acting in the manner you have, with restraint and good faith. It would be incredibly tragic if you were to actually try to have sexual relations with this girl.

At the age of nine, she is unable to consumate her feelings and is probably confused as to what she has heard at school and from peers etc. She may think that she wants to have sex, but I can guarantee that she really doesn't want that at all.

She is going to need a long talk from her parents or a trusted adult friend as it is obvious she is looking to have a sexual experience very soon, and if she is not properly informed she may put her health at risk. Therefore my short answer is YES, you should tell advise her parents of what she has been trying to do. Pick a good time and tell it as it was, don't try to sugar coat it. If you are totally honest with them they should not have any ill feeling toward you, but the longer you leave it the worse it will get because when you finally DO tell them, they will want to know why you kept it quiet for so long. Get my point?

Doctor Dan