My girlfriend and I have just started having sex not too long ago. I lost my virginity to her and she's told me that she's only been sexually active with two other men before me. My question involves condoms. We always use condoms when we have sex, vaginally or anally, but she insists that I put one on when she's performing oral sex. Is that really necessary? I mean, I know that we're both clean and we're only having sex with each other and wearing a condom for oral sex seems to lose the entire point of it, or at least that's my opinion with little experience.

Steve, 23 Male

Hi Steve. I am very glad that you are using condoms regularly, you can never be too careful these days, especially with anal sex. What you need to be aware of is that sexually transmitted diseases can be passed from person to person through oral sex as well, especially she has sores or cuts on her mouth, or if you have sores on your penis. That is the main reason for using condoms for oral sex, and is probably the main reason she is insisting on using them.

You are both fairly young and new to sex, therefore it is unlikely that either of you have any dieseases to worry about. You can never be sure though, and as it is obviously worrying to her you should be compassionate to her concerns. If you are both in a monogamous relationship (only having sex with each other), then maybe a trip to the doctor to have a blood test will ease her worries. Then you could safely have bareback vaginal or anal sex too, as long as you get birth control covered.

She may also be concerned about taking your semen in her mouth if you ejaculate in there. Swallowing semen is not dangerous (most STD's including AIDS are killed by stomach fluid), but again if there are open wounds in the mouth or throat then a person can become infected. You need to talk to her about it - if this is the case then you need to assure her that you won't come in her mouth and MAKE SURE you don't!

I think the only way you will resolve this one is to talk to each other about it and do whatever she needs to ease her mind about giving you head without a condom.

Doctor Dan