Autumn rain can be so brutal in the Midwest that people look forward to simple fluffy snow again. Maytag and Stanton had only the skin of a rental car and its heating system to protect them from the cold rain pounding the ground around the stationary vehicle. Through the wiping of the windshield blades, they watched cars go by. Agent Maytag looked through his binoculars and scanned oncoming traffic for one van in particular.

"Tell me why we're here again," Stanton asked.

"Interstate teen prostitution ring," Maytag answered flatly.

Stanton cradled the coffee cup in her hands to savor the warmth. "No, I know that. How do you know about this little traveling show?"

Maytag took a sip of his coffee. "I told you," he said. "An informant tipped me off."

"Keep going," Stanton said.

"Someone forwarded him something and he passed it on to me."

"See, this is what you never explained to me in your rush to get out here. You told me there was a set of teen prostitutes traveling cross country, spreading evil in their wake."

Maytag interrupted: "I believe I said 'spreading licentiousness in their wake.'"

"Fine," Stanton replied. "You convinced me to come out here to Kansas, of all places, to intercept them, and here we are. Only now I'm cold, it's pouring outside, and I still haven't seen this thing."

"It's on my computer. Would you like me to describe it to you?"

"Yes."

"OK, it's a multimedia file. Starts out as a standard didvid."

"A what?"

"A didvid," Maytag answered. "DID, Dee-Eye-Dee stands for Damsel in Distress. A video clip that captures the bound, helpless, Damsel in Distress in the clutches of the villain is called a did-vid. Get it? Didvid!"

"I'm worried about you, Maytag. Maybe it's time you put in for a new assignment."

"But we make such a good team, Stanton," Maytag said, saluting her with a lift of his coffee cup. "Anyway, the didvid opens with this silhouette of a girl, hourglass figure, tied up and on her side. Looming above her is the mad scientist villain: crazy gray hair going everywhere, thick rubber gloves on, and horn-rimmed glasses with thick lenses to match. Then the camera turns and we see the girl is a redhead wearing a purple barrette, green scarf, purple dress, and pink stockings."

"Do I really need details at this point?" Stanton asked him.

"No," Maytag admitted. "Besides not much else happens. The point is to show the damsel in distress. Her skirt comes up a lot, and we get a lot of skin, but that's it. That's not the point, though. Are you sure you don't know that outfit: redhead, green barrette, purple dress, pink stockings? Doesn't that sound familiar?"

"Not really, Maytag."

"Think 70s. Think cartoons."

"Sorry, Maytag, I haven't been keeping up on my cartoons."

"Mystery solving gang?" he hinted to no response. "Talking dog who always seems to have the munchies?" Exasperated, Maytag sang the theme song.

"Oh!" Stanton said. "Yeah, of course I know that show. But keep singing, you sound great, partner."

"Ha! I sing better than you lie."

"No you don't," came Stanton's quick reply. "I remember that outfit, now. You know if you watched carefully, you would see that sometimes her barrette would change color from scene to scene."

"How about that?" Maytag asked. "Here I thought it funny that they never changed clothes, and you notice when it happens by accident." Stanton lifted her coffee cup in mock salute.

"Anyway," Maytag continued, "When the camera on the didvid was finished feeling up our heroine, the words 'Coming to Your Town' showed up on the screen. The words linked to a list of dates and places. They're taking the show on the road, Stanton. We're here to catch up and investigate."

"So you have no evidence that any prostitution is going on, do you?"

Maytag lowered the binoculars and turned to look at Stanton. The only sound was the hammering of heavy raindrops on the car. He lifted his field glasses again to watch the road. "Not really," he said.

"So we're pretty much out here so you can see a redhead in pink stockings, aren't we?" asked Stanton.

"I saw the didvid," Maytag said. "I read the email that accompanied it. It sounded like teen prostitution to me. I'm sure of it. At the very least, it's worth a look."

"One more thing," Stanton said. "Why are you so sure we'll see them come by here?"

"Two reasons," Maytag answered. "The first is that we know their last stop was in Manhattan, Kansas, and this spot is on the way to the next date."

"And the second?"

Maytag put down his binoculars and shifted the car into drive. "The second reason is I just saw them."

As the pair of agents made their way from the parking lot, a van drove by, painted green and blue. There were orange letters on the side panel near the rear, but Maytag couldn't read them. He concentrated on the wet road, and put the windshield wipers on their fastest setting.

"Were you able to read the van?" Maytag asked.

"Couldn't make it out," Stanton answered. "Nice flowers on the back, though. Very seventies."

Maytag focused on the road. He grew nervous about trying to follow the van in the hard rain. The road was a two lane state route, not interstate highway.

"They're driving fast," Stanton said.

"Yeah, I was just thinking that," Maytag replied.

The agents kept quiet as they pursued the psychedelic van. Maytag gripped the wheel with both hands, and kept his foot half off the accelerator. Wipers kept fast time, whoosh, whoosh, as they rocketed down the road. Flat Kansas stretched out on either side of them, rain driving across its face and the two-lane asphalt scar that ran along it.

The van swerved, just a bit. The back side moved from one side of the lane to the other, as if it were shaking its ass at them. The brake lights winked at them.

"Maytag," Stanton said.

"I see it," Maytag said. His foot was off the accelerator and the car slowed a bit. They were catching up, now, closing distance. The swerving stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"What do you think is wrong?" Stanton asked. She got no answer.

Either Maytag saw it all at once, or his mind tricked him into remembering it that way later. He noticed the van sitting lower on one side and saw a spark where maybe the rim poked through the flat tire and grabbed the road. The brake lights went on and stayed on, at least until the van had slid sideways and he was looking at the side rather than the rear.

Although Maytag had started braking long before, the van had as well. There was not enough room to stop. Training took over. Any attempt to swerve around the van could cause him to lose all control. They could roll over easily. Instead of trying to avoid the van, Maytag drove the car straight at it.

Outside the car someone might have heard the crash of glass and the crunch of metal. All Maytag and Stanton heard was a solid whump as they were thrown forward. Seat belts saved them from injury but they were dazed.

"Are you OK?" Maytag asked.

Stanton cleared the hair from her face and took a deep breath. "Yeah," she said. She looked up at the van. The crushed hood of their own vehicle stopped her from seeing the damage done to the van. She could see those orange letters painted on to the blue and green background of the van. "I'm fine," she said. "And I can read what the van says now. The Sleuth Sloop."

"I can't see anything," Maytag replied. "I can't really hear either." The air bag completely filled his field of view. The loud whump they heard was the sudden change in pressure when the bag deployed.

Stanton released her seat belt and got out of the car. Maytag stumbled out of the car. He was still a little stunned. He didn't see that Stanton had taken out a cell phone, couldn't hear her curse when she could not get a signal. Raindrops assaulted him, but he paid no mind to the shower. He did not notice that their car was crumpled in front, but the van was simply dented. When the driver of the van got out and asked if they were OK, he paid him no attention.

All he noticed was the redhead girl in the purple dress and pink pantyhose that ran to his side. She had a heart shaped face and large round black eyes. A green scarf circled her neck, and a lilac barrette held the long red hair from her face, even as it was growing wet and falling flat to her head.

She rested a hand on her hip and asked him if he was OK. He responded with one word, to which she laughed.

"Close," she said smiling. "Call me Dymphna."

That's when he collapsed.

*

The last thing Maytag remembered before blacking out was that pretty face, smiling in the rain. When he came to, the first thing he was aware of was wet kisses on his face. He reached out to grab a hand full of her deliciously long locks, but instead found only short hairs and a bony skull.

Maytag opened his eyes and saw a large dog's head close to his. Its pink carpet of a tongue unfurled and lapped at this face before disappearing again.

"Sloopy!" someone yelled. It seemed Maytag's hearing was back, too. The dog lifted its head and walked away.

"Like, hey, man, are you all right?" A young guy with unruly brown hair and a tangle of thin hairs on his chin looked down at Maytag. The dog had a better looks than this guy. At least he wasn't licking his face. "Sorry about that, man, Sloop Dog was just trying to help you out."

"Here, sir, let us help you up." The second guy was the same age as the other, but that was about it for similarities. He had short hair, broad shoulders, a massive chest, and a jaw as square and jutting as the dog's. The two lifted Maytag to his feet, but it was clear that Blondie did most of the work.

"Thanks, fellas," Maytag said.

"Here, guys," said a girl with dark hair, and square, thick black glasses that rested on a freckled face. "Put these on so you don't get sick." She handed the three of them transparent plastic ponchos, like the one she was already wearing. Maytag saw through the rain gear that she wore a red pleated skirt and an orange turtleneck sweater with knee high socks to match.

"You too, Sloop," she said as she adjusted a sheet of plastic around the great Dane.

He looked around at the gang, who looked back at him. The big guy had donned his poncho, but Maytag saw that he wore blue slacks, a white V-neck sweater, and a ridiculous looking orange ascot. The thin, scruffy one wore a pair of brown bell bottoms and an olive drab t-shirt. He struggled to put on his poncho.

"Like, I can't breathe!"

"That's because you have the poncho on backwards, Shagger," said the girl with the glasses. "Here, let me."

They were exactly how Maytag remembered the show. Behind him he heard Stanton say, "The police are on the way. Tow truck, too."

He turned and saw his partner and the redhead together, wearing the same style ponchos. The redhead said, "We used the CB in the Sleuth Sloop."

"Good work, girls," said the big blonde. "Now let's set up some flares to warn other motorists."

They went into action. The girls worked from the back of the van to hand flares to the guys. Even the dog took one in its mouth, which was promptly delivered to Maytag.

Maytag and the big guy struck their flares and placed them on the road. The skinny kid lit the end closest to his palm and dropped it. "Like, ouch!" he yelled, to which everyone else just laughed.

Stanton moved to Maytag's side. "This is absolutely unbelievable!" she said. "They're exactly like the..."

"...the cartoon," Maytag finished her sentence.

Their private conversation was interrupted when the dog bounded to them, followed by the rest of the gang.

"We never really introduced ourselves," said the big guy. "I'm Ted."

"Thelma," said the girl with the glasses.

"Dymphna," said the redhead.

"And, like, I'm the Shagger!" the skinny kid hailed them with a wave of the hand, as the Great Dane stood up on two legs and pawed at his shoulders. "This is Sloopy Dog."

"I'm Special Agent Gerry Maytag."

"And I'm Special Agent Heather Stanton."

"Like, wow, Sloop!" the Shagger said. "Real G-Men!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Agents," said Thelma.

"Sorry about our blowout," said Ted. "I hope we haven't kept you from your duties."

Stanton began to speak. "As a matter of fact--"

"No trouble," Maytag interrupted her. "We're just glad everyone is OK. And I'm sorry about your van."

Stanton smiled and said, "You know you guys look awfully like--"

This time it was the guys and girls who interrupted her, and in unison. "Don't say it!"

Thelma said, "We're just a small performing group trying to see the country and make a little money for college."

Ted continued, "Any likeness between us and other people, live or dead, real or fictional, is purely coincidence."

Dymphna put a fist on one hip and wagged her finger. "And don't make us repeat it!"

"Like, what they said," added the Shagger. The dog barked.

Maytag and Stanton looked at each other and then back at the group. Stanton pressed, "Well, the resemblance is amazing. Even your names are close. And isn't Thelma the exact name?"

"No," Maytag corrected her. "But I think most people never get that straight."

"Look, gang!" Ted called. "It's the police!"

The blue and red lights of the sheriff's patrol car, and the yellow lights of a wrecker, grew larger as they approached. When they arrived, the sheriff's deputy took command. The wrecker maneuvered to back up to the van. A man in faded denim overalls climbed from the cab. He wore a red baseball cap and had a bushy gray mustache.

As he readied the van for towing, the deputy took statements and filled forms. When he finished he told them what they were lucky. "Earl here not only has his garage, but the closest rooms for the night. Just let him take care of you until he can fix the flat on that van, and until the FBI can arrange for transport for the two of you."

"How long will that take, Agent Maytag?" Thelma asked.

"By tomorrow, probably," he answered.

"Are you two OK here?" the deputy asked. "I'd like to run the rest of these youngsters over to Earl's in my car, so we can get them there in one trip. Earl will come back to tow your vehicle and drive you to his place."

"That'll be fine," Stanton said.

"See you guys at Earl's," Ted called before the flashing lights moved away, leaving Maytag and Stanton in the rain.

"That's just great," Maytag said as they drove away. "Now we'll be buried in red tape. Worse, they know we're agents. We'll never be able to sting their operation."

Stanton laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"You," she answered. "Standing in the rain with a plastic parka on, convinced that this group of college students is involved in a prostitution ring, and upset that you've been made before you can catch them in the act."

"I'm not upset," Maytag said. "I'm simply concerned about our investigation."

"Whatever you say, Maytag. Here's our ride."

*

Earl had comically long gray hair and a droopy mustache to match, and would only respond to questions with one word responses. If they could be called words, that is. They sounded more like "resh" and "nofe". After the ride, Maytag amused his partner by commenting, "I thought it was that dog that was supposed to talk that way."

Once they alighted, Maytag and Stanton found that there was indeed a large farmhouse to the garage with a sign that read, "Bed and Breakfast". Earl mumbled something and pointed at the car and at the house.

"I guess we should bring our stuff inside the house," Stanton said.

"Resh resh," Earl mumbled.

Inside, they found Ted and the girls sitting in a parlor just inside the door. Flower patterned upholstery lined the chairs and sofa, and a white doily covered the center of a cherry wood coffee table. Framed needlepoint decorated the walls.

"Looks like Earl's back," Ted said.

"That's right," Maytag said. "He's pulling our car into the garage next to your van?"

"Still raining?" Dymphna asked.

"Coming down in buckets," Stanton said.

"We better put on those parkas, then," Thelma said.

Dymphna and Thelma threw the covers over their clothes and walked out the door.

"What's that all about, Ted?" Stanton asked, taking a seat on the sofa next to the big blonde.

"Oh, they're just trying to find out from Earl what all this is going to cost us, how to arrange payment. Boring stuff."

"Is that so?" Maytag asked. "How do you usually arrange--"

"Look, Sloop," Shagger called, interrupting Maytag, "Ted and Feds! Get it? Ted and Feds!" Slouching, Shagger walked into the room carrying arms full of lunchmeat and a loaf of bread. The dog carried a long pepperoni in its mouth.

"Shagger, you can't just go in the kitchen and take from this man," Ted said.

"I thought--" he looked at Maytag and Stanton then back to Ted. "Sorry, Ted. But, like, I got hungry. Right, Sloop?"

The dog settled on the floor and began to devour the meat.

Shagger held his palms out at the graphic display of hunger. "See, Ted?"

"Sloop Dog, no!" Ted called. He reached down to grab the food. The great Dane was having none of it, however. The beast bounded off with the pepperoni.

"Sloop!" Shagger called.

All four chased the dog back into the kitchen. The hound lost traction on the floor, and slid along, into an open doorway. It dropped from view, and a loud crashing sound echoed into the room.

"Like, he fell down the stairs!" Shagger exclaimed.

They rushed to the open doorway, worried for the dog. They found him at the bottom of the stairs, licking his wounds. After hurrying down the steps, though, they saw he was eating the pepperoni.

"That's our dog!" Ted said, proudly.

"Like you had me worried there for a second, Sloop," Shagger said, giving the dog a scratch behind the ears.

"Hey, look at that!" Stanton said, pointing at a workbench. "Wigs."

"They look just like Earl's hair," Ted said.

"Like, maybe the old guy's bald," Shagger joked.

"Does his face need covering, too?" Maytag asked, holding up a fake mustache.

"This could be some kind of clue," Ted said, holding his chin.

"Guys!" a distant voice called. "Where are you?"

"We'd better get back upstairs. C'mon, Sloop!"

The foursome scrambled up the stairs, with the dog leaping three or four steps at a time behind them. In the kitchen, the girls stood in their raincoats, dripping water on the floor. "There you are!" Dymphna said, with a hand on her hip.

Earl entered the room behind the girls. He looked Dymphna up and down and then announced, "Dinner shoon. Rou kidsh clean up."

"Like, what did he say?"

"Dinner will be ready soon," Thelma said. "We can clean up." Thelma looked down at her raincoat. "I think that means he wants us to stop making puddles in his kitchen, Dymphna."

"Looks like the dog is taking care of that," Stanton said.

Sloop had his head down, and was licking at the floor with his carpet of a pink tongue.

"I guess pepperoni makes a dog thirsty," Maytag said.

"Durshty?" Earl mumbled.

They all laughed. It just felt natural.

*

After dinner, Earl went back to the kitchen, refusing offers of help from the gang. "Rour payink fur it," Earl chuckled, letting them know clearly there would be no discount just for helping with dishes.

Instead, everyone went back to the parlor area. There, they broke up into smaller groups. Maytag tried talking to Dymphna to learn more about the kids' operation, but spent more time staring at her legs and telling stories about being an FBI agent. Shagger and Sloop dog had eaten too much and were asleep on the floor, leaning against one another. Ted and Thelma, fascinated with real crime solving, spoke to Agent Stanton.

"So what's it like tracking down real criminals?" Ted asked.

"Tracking down real criminals," Stanton repeated, looking around the room at a napping teenager, his dog, and her partner laughing with a redhead in a miniskirt. "It's a real challenge sometimes." She turned a bit to face Ted, and flipped her hair. If she had to be here while Maytag pursued a boyhood crush, then she could at least pursue a boy. A Nordic hunk of a boy, at that.

"When we started this," Ted the Nordic hunk said, "We were just having a good time, you know? But we've really taken on a detective's attitude since then, trying to look for real mysteries."

"So what do you make of the wigs downstairs?" Stanton asked him.

"What wigs?" Thelma asked.

Stanton forgot that the girls were outside when Sloopy had stumbled in to the basement. She explained their discovery.

"Why would Earl need a disguise?" Thelma asked.

"Maybe he's a fugitive," Ted said. "I bet you'd like to get your hands on Earl's fingerprints, Agent Stanton."

I'd like to get my hands on something, Stanton thought. First your buns, then later I can wring Maytag's neck for dragging me here. "No access to a lab," Stanton said. "But that's the right idea."

"Maybe we can look for more clues!" Thelma said enthusiastically.

"Good idea!" Ted said. "Let's split up! Thelma, you see what you can find with Shagger and Sloopy in the basement. Dymphna and Agent Maytag can contact the sheriff to see what he knows about Earl. Agent Stanton and I can search the rest of the house."

Stanton liked that idea just fine.

*

Thelma was growing frustrated with her search partners. "Shagger, I really don't think you're going to find any more clues here in the kitchen."

"Yeah," Shagger giggled. "But we did find this tasty ice cream, right, Sloop?"

Sloopy looked up at Thelma and barked, white ice cream dripping off his nose.

"You guys are terrible!"

"Like, we're just into the finer things in life!"

"That's nice, Shagger, but I'm interested in getting to the bottom of this mystery, whatever it takes."

"So are we, Thelma. Like, old man Earl might have hidden his old ID at the bottom of this tub of ice cream!"

"Ok, Shagger," Thelma said as she adjusted her glasses. "You stay here and search through every container in the kitchen. I'll find try to find some of the others. They've got to be making better progress than this."

*

Upstairs, Stanton and Ted stopped kissing for a second just to come up for air.

Stanton ran her hands over Ted's burly chest, then moved up to untie the orange handkerchief around his neck. "I always knew they split up on the show like that so that you could make out with the pretty girl."

"I do appreciate the finer things in life," Ted said.

Stanton pushed her lips against Ted's and slipped her tongue along his mouth. Ted responded to her kiss with enthusiasm, and ran his hands up Stanton's sides to her soft breasts. Ted moved his mouth down to Stanton's neck and nibbled on the delicate skin near of her throat.

"Making out is fun," Ted said. "And you're a very pretty girl."

"You're a good looking guy," Stanton replied. "And you know what I like about good looking guys?"

"No," Ted said, pulling back to look at her bright blue eyes.

"I like sucking their dicks."

*

Thelma didn't have a chance to look for anyone before Dymphna found her. The redhead walked in to the kitchen and fell into a fit of laughter when Sloop dog lifted his head from a bucket, and chocolate ice cream dripped from his face.

"I see you've lost the trail already," Dymphna said when the giggles subsided.

"And you've lost your partner," Thelma said.

"No, Agent Maytag is outside calling the sheriff where Earl can't hear him."

"Like where is the old mumble mouth, anyway?" Shagger asked.

"I don't know," Thelma said. "But I think we won't find out anything until we get a closer look at Earl, starting under that cap."

"Good idea, Thelma," Dymphna said. "Shagger, you wait here. Thelma and I have a mission."

"A mission?" Thelma asked.

"I have a couple ideas on how to get a look under Earl's disguise." Dymphna winked and grinned.

"I think you've been hanging out with Ted too long," Thelma answered.

*

Ted ran his fingers through Stanton's long brunette hair, and bucked his hips to slide his cock in and out of her mouth. She encouraged him by slapping him on the ass or guiding his hips with her hands.

"Oh, yeah," Ted groaned. She let him pump his rod into her mouth and onto the warm velvet of her tongue with no resistance, but sucked back when he pulled out, stroking him off with the ring of her lips. "You give such good head," he moaned, turning head into a word of at least three syllables.

Stanton accepted the compliment by humming on his cock. She wasn't ready to let him come, though. One more moan from Ted and she pulled her mouth away.

"Let's get onto this bed," she said, "and find out what kind of head you give."

*

Dymphna and Thelma headed up the stairs carefully, moving on tiptoe so as not to make noise. Thelma led the way, with Dymphna behind her. Unknown to the girls, a third figure ascended the stairs behind them, dressed in coveralls and a green "John Deere" hat. The man stayed two steps behind Dymphna, and his head stayed level with her ass. At one point he might have been able to lift her purple skirt with his nose. Judging from the way his attention stayed fixed on her pert little ass, that might have been his objective.

At the top of the stairs, Thelma looked back at Dymphna and gave her the "keep quiet" sign of an index finger resting vertically against her lips. To make a joke, Dymphna did the same thing, and almost saw her pursuer before he could duck to the side.

The girls stepped up into the hallway, providing their pursuer an opening. He stayed back as they moved in single file. Then he reached up and threw a switch. Light flooded the hall. Dymphna and Thelma spun around.

"Earl!' they said.

"Rye rus rookin fuhr rou," Earl mumbled.

"Funny," Dymphna said. "We were looking for you, too."

"Rye ave shummin fur rou."

"You have something for us?" Thelma asked.

Earl held up a length of nylon rope.

"Earl," Dymphna teased him by looping a lock of hair in her fingers. "Have you seen the previews for our stage show?"

He nodded affirmatively.

Thelma said, "You can get tickets for the play in Lawrence for ten dollars."

"Thelma, I think Earl wants a performance right here. Don't you, Earl?" Dymphna asked, cocking her hip.

"Resh uhdoo," Earl said.

"I think that can be arranged," Thelma said, putting her hands behind her back and throwing her shoulders back so that her breasts showed prominently.

"Row much?" Earl asked.

"Private show, Earl," Dymphna said. "No charge."

*

Stanton writhed on the bed. Ted had stripped off her clothes and covered her with kisses, and she did her best to repay the favor. Broad shoulders and a solid chest made for a lot of territory to cover, though. Stanton made due with feeling the rock hard muscles of his upper back while the blond hunk moved to lick her pussy.

Ted went at his work with slow swipes of his tongue, the tip pressed firmly against Stanton's lips. The sensation was more like being fingered than licked. That was all right with Stanton: she liked being fingered just fine.

Ted slid down on the bed and positioned himself squarely between her legs. With his tongue jutting out for an extended period, his open mouth began to water. Stanton's pussy creamed. A slick wetness formed between her legs. There was no doubt she was being licked now.

"Oh, yes, Ted," Stanton moaned.

Ted hooked his beefy arms under Stanton's legs and cupped her round ass in his large hands. Her legs draped over his broad shoulders and over his solid back. She hooked her ankles together, at once spreading her legs farther apart and pulling the man tight to her crotch.

For his part, Ted licked with abandon. His tongue circled her lips, flickered at her pearl, and poked inside her slit. He massaged her ass. Fingertips as big as thumbs pried open her labia to let his tongue probe deeper.

When Heather moaned he licked faster, and when she paused in her moaning he did something different. It was around the time he started sucking on her clit that Stanton felt the muscles of her lower body tense up and the pleasure well up against them. The muscles buckled and gave in, but Ted's mouth did not, and the pleasure spilled over her in a strong climax.

Without waiting for her orgasm to subside, Ted rocked to the side and flipped himself onto his back with Stanton still wrapped around his face. Strong arms gripped the breathless brunette around the waist and moved her smooth ass down his firm chest, all the way to his waiting, swollen cock.

"Heather," Ted moaned.

Seems she wasn't so disoriented that she couldn't grip his turgid rod and guide it straight up into her wet hole. She sat back on his rigid tool, and they both took a deep breath before the fucking started in earnest.

*

Supine, with arms extended above her head and bound together to the headboard with nylon rope, Dymphna squirmed back and forth on the bed. Her breasts heaved against the knit purple dress, and the hemline inched up on her thighs. Earl was busy holding a leg down and tying it to a bedpost at the foot of the bed. Thelma lent a hand.

"You surprised me, Earl," she said. "I thought you were a little old to know the cartoon, let alone anything about our show."

Earl shrugged "Rinternet," he said simply. "Cable."

Thelma finished the knot around Dymphna's ankle. "So let me ask, you, Earl," Thelma said as she ran her hand along the pink stocking clinging to the redhead's calf, "Did you ever get the feeling my character was a lesbian?"

"He's not interested in your theories," Dymphna whined.

"You know, Earl," Thelma said, "I think we'd have a better time if Dymphna here couldn't offer us her soprano commentary."

Earl finished his knot and looked up at Thelma. "Ruhh?"

"A gag," Thelma said.

"Roh resh," Earl said eagerly, climbing onto the bed on all fours.

"But they like it when I scream!" Dymphna protested. Too late for that, though. Earl straddled Dymphna's chest. She could feel his cock and balls weigh heavy between her breasts. He untied the lime green scarf from her supple neck and then replaced it around her mouth. Earl caressed Dymphna's smooth cheek with his hand.

Thelma continued to fondle Dymphna's legs. "See, Earl, a lot of people like to point to my frumpiness in comparison to the other girl -- my turtleneck, my square glasses -- and make me out to be uninterested in my appearance. I always let her wander off with the hunk to do who knows what while I search for clues, right?" She walked along the bed, moving her hand up to Dymphna's thigh.

Thelma continued her monologue. "I like to think of it as pent-up sexual energy. The librarian thing, you know? This pleated skirt and the knee high socks may not look like much, but underneath, I'm no different than this." Earl turned to watch as Thelma's hand disappeared inside up the lilac trim of the purple dress.

"And the excess desire generated from the surprise of an unexpected source of sex," she said as her wrist moved under the redhead's skirt. "My! You should feel how hot her pussy is."

By this time, Earl simply stared at Thelma. She put a hand in his lap and felt his organ, pressing hard against his coveralls. "I see I might have got you by surprise, too," Thelma said. "C'mon, let's get you out of those clothes."

Earl stepped off the bed. Dymphna strained her neck to watch what her traveling companion would do next. The combination of Thelma stroking her leg all the way up to her slit, and Earl growing stiff right between her tits had made her pussy wet and her nipples hard. Desire filled her, but nylon rope held her down. She did what she could and watched.

Thelma undid the buttons on the top of the coveralls, and let the denim straps and the upper portion of the garment fall around Earl's legs. The dark haired Thelma dropped to a crouch and lifted the white t-shirt to expose Earl's stomach. His body was tighter than she expected, and Thelma planted a few kisses on the smooth hard surface around his navel before moving down to his boxers.

Earl's choice of underwear, simple white cotton boxers with a subtle diamond pattern, was more what she expected from the old guy. Once again, though, the rock hard cock and dark black pubic hair did not seem to match the gray hairs above. Not that Thelma complained. She took to sucking his cock with enthusiasm, and the dick poked out from the inside her freckled cheeks with every bob of her head.

Dymphna saw Earl take the girl's head in his hands and start flexing his hips. Watching was driving her crazy. The redhead was all tied up with no one to blow. She started to grunt to get their attention.

Thelma heard, but not until Earl's palms moved way from her ears. She pulled off his cock with a wt popping sound. "Mmm," she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her turtleneck. "I think Dymphna is looking for some attention."

Earl kicked off his shoes and stepped out of the coveralls. He climbed back on the bed and knelt between Dymphna's legs with his cock pointing straight out like a loaded weapon. The redhead rolled her shoulders and lifted her pelvis in a display of her heat. Earl moved his hands under her dress and started to tug on her pink pantyhose.

"Earl, don't waste your time," Thelma said. She jumped on the bed and displayed her fingernails with a flourish. On her knees next to Dymphna, she ripped open the crotch of the redhead's hosiery, leaving a wide gap in the pink stretch material that acted as a window to white cotton panties.

The gag muffled Dymphna's moaning.

"Roh my," Earl mumbled.

*

Stanton arched her back and stretched herself over Ted's cock. The way she leaned forward forced her ass back, and her clit slid against Ted's shaft.

"Oh, God, Heather", Ted cried. "I'm coming!"

"Yes," Stanton moaned. She could feel it. The cum just made the whole business even more slippery. The sliding sex felt so good that it made her ass tingle. The sensation solidified, and Stanton felt something hard pressed against the button of her anus. Maybe Ted was getting a little frisky. Funny that it seemed to tickle, though, like whiskers or something. Stanton flashed Ted a smile and realized both his hands were on her forearms.

Whiskers! Just as she was thinking what that could mean, she felt the wet licking of a tongue right between her cheeks. "What the?!" Stanton cried out.

Weight pressed on her back. She felt nails on her shoulders. She fell forward on to Ted. He kissed her. "Don't worry," Ted said. "He knows what he's doing." He took hold of her hips and pushed her off his lap. Stanton's shoulders fell into Ted's chest. He moved his hands back to her ass and spread apart her cheeks.

Stanton felt a hard smooth shaft enter her sopping hole. Quick, powerful strokes followed. A bony pelvis slapped her ass and nails scratched at her shoulders. The brunette was afraid to look back, but her pussy responded to the pounding. This was doggy style, all right, and the penetration was fast and deep.

Ted moved a hand to her breast . His lips meet hers in a kiss. He reassured her, and she relaxed. He pinched a nipple, and Stanton's body started to convulse. The on-all fours action had gotten to her despite the shock of the invasion. She was coming and she wasn't the only one. Stanton felt the hot liquid stream inside her walls.

"Oh, good boy!" Stanton called, just coming down from her orgasm. "Good fucking boy!"

"Thanks," said the goofy voice from behind her. Stanton felt the dick slip out of quim, and two hands rub her shoulders.

"That's why they call him the Shagger," Ted said.

Stanton spun around and looked at Shagger kneeling behind her. "So it was you back there," she reached out to grabby the scruff under his chin. "Nice whiskers."

"Thanks again," Shagger said, as he cupped Stanton's soft breasts in an embrace. "Like, I couldn't take watching that and just jerking off anymore. I hope you don't mind."

"It was kind of sudden," Stanton said. "But I'm just glad it was you!"

"Who did you think it was, Heather?" Ted asked.

"Actually, I thought it was Sloop dog," Stanton said meekly.

"Hear that, Ted?" Shagger said. "Like, I'm a real animal."

"That's funny, Shagger," Ted aid. "But where is Sloopy?"

"Zoinks!" Shagger said. "I don't know."

"Maybe the girls have him," Stanton said.

"Man, I don't think so," Shagger replied. "The girls got together to go on some kind of secret mission."

*

Thelma pulled the white panties to the side, uncovering Dymphna's fiery red bush for Earl to see. He moved forward, and Thelma leaned in and slathered his cock with another coating of spit. Earl placed the slippery tip of his dick against Dymphna's twat. She was moist with anticipation, but not completely slick, and she bit down on her green gag when he pushed into her. Earl humped and pumped.

"My, Earl!" Thelma exclaimed. "You'll give yourself a heart attack." But the girl in the glasses smiled, and she pinched Dymphna's nipples through the redhead's dress. Then she pushed a hand down to Dymphna's crotch and straddled the plunging cock with her fingers. Earl sawed at the V of her hand as well as Dymphna's tight seam.

Dymphna writhed with pleasure. Her wrists went white where she struggled against the ropes. Wet pressure from her tongue dampened the scarf and turned it dark green in her mouth.

"Jeepers!" Thelma said. Earl fucked like a man half his age. Thelma wanted some of that. Quickly, she shed her underwear, pushed up the sleeves of her turtleneck, She got on all fours, hovering over Dymphna's squirming torso. She hiked up the red pleated skirt up over her ass to give Earl a view of her cunt. "My turn, now, Earl."

"Rohkay," Earl mumbled. He pulled out of Dymphna and pointed himself up at Thelma's slit. Once he was in, he took hold of Thelma's waist and whaled on her broad ass. His pelvis made loud slapping sounds with each thrust, and Thelma added to that with loud moans of pleasure. The girl reached back and played with her clit, pushing herself even faster to an orgasm.

Unbelievably, even as Thelma's cunt tightened down on him with orgasmic spasms, Earl continued to pound away. He bounced her so hard from behind that her glasses came off.

"Jinkees!" Thelma moaned before rolling off of Dymphna.

Dymphna had watched all that from close up, and it only made her hotter. When Thelma rolled away, Dymphna locked her large dark eyes on Earl's and tilted her head back opening her throat submissively. Earl understood the wordless signal, and returned to fucking the redhead.

Finally, Earl succumbed, streaming his jizz deep inside Dymphna's tight pussy. His throbbing cock pushed Dymphna to orgasm. He grunted loud as he released, but all she could do was throw her head side to side, treating Earl to the sight of her read hair whipping around in the air.

Earl collapsed, and kindly let loose Dymphna's gag. They both struggle for breath. The next word either of them heard was from Thelma, crawling on the floor. "I can't find my glasses!"

*

Ted, Shagger, and Stanton got dressed, They started in a hurry, but then there was some playful slapping, and things took longer than they expected. Long enough so that the next thing they heard was Sloop dog barking outside.

*

Earl sat back on the bed exhausted. "Really? No money?" he asked again.

"Earl, I think we should be paying you," Thelma said.

"I could use a new air of pantyhose," Dymphna said. "But I like to shop, so it's no big deal."

Through his copious gray hair, Earl's face almost showed a look of disappointment.

That's when they heard Sloopy barking outside their room. Dymphna and Thelma, who had never totally undressed, rushed outside. Earl started to put his clothes on.

When the girls rushed out of the room, they had to blink to make sure what they saw was real. As Agent Stanton looked on, Shagger and Ted held Sloop Dog away from...Earl!

"That can't be Earl!" Dymphna said. "He was just--"

Thelma coughed. "We were just with him in the next room," she said tactfully.

"Then there is something going on here!" Ted announced.

"Let's find out," Thelma said boldly. She stepped to the figure between Ted and the Shagger, and pulled at the CAT diesel baseball cap. The hat came away, and with it a wig. Thelma went a step further and tugged at the beard.

"It's a woman," Dymphna called out.

"I wonder just what she's up to, sneaking around Earl's place like this," Ted said.

"I'm not sneaking around at all," the woman said. "I set up a shop like this two counties over, but no one trusted a young woman to fix pick-ups and tractors. I tried here with this get-up and then lo and behold, success!"

"Get-up ?" Shagger asked. "Like, I'm confused!"

"I'm Earl," the woman said. "The name is Pearl, really. Now my secret is out."

"We're sorry we accosted you like that, Pearl," Ted said.

"No need," she said. "I've proven my worth to these people by now. If they can't accept Pearl the mechanic now, it's their loss. Besides, I heard some things tonight that reminded me how much dressing up as an old man...limits my personal life." Pearl gave Stanton a look. "I hope you kids don't mind staying here another night."

Shagger said, "Like we're supposed to be in Lawrence soon."

Ted elbowed him swiftly. "Not a big deal, Shagger. We don't mind staying at all, Pearl."

Dymphna scratched her head. "But if that's really Pearl, who did we just--"

At that moment, a second Earl opened a door and entered the hall "Rutroh," he said, trying to duck back into the room. But Sloop dog had already gotten a bite on his shirt tail.

"Let's see about that," Ted said. It was his turn to pull away a disguise.

"Agent Maytag!" everyone called in unison.

"But why?" Dymphna asked.

"I know the answer to that," Stanton said. "Agent Maytag was convinced you were up to no good in some sort of teen prostitution ring. He was so desperate to catch you that he put on this disguise."

"I would have caught them, too," Maytag said. "If only they had been peddling kids."

End