Lifestyles

By katie rose

Copyright © 2001, by katie rose.  All rights reserved.

Their naked bodies molded together. Tan, smooth legs twisted within the white sheets in contrast. Reaching tentatively forward, Kara caressed the breast and blushed-pink nipple exposed to the air. One body stirred while the other slept peacefully. Her lips replaced her hand and she suckled. The warmth and wetness teased and caused the nipple to pucker and harden under her attention. Slowly her lips traveled lower, across Toni's abdomen. Traveling farther down, her tongue brushed against the tangle of blonde, trimmed pubic hair. The scent was alluring. It permeated the air. Toni slightly parted her thighs, and the aroma grew stronger. Puffy, rose-colored folds opened, and the slight nub in its center revealed. Kara's tongue licked and tasted the folds, causing Toni to stir.

As Toni awoke to the pleasure, she rolled to her back and fully offered herself to Kara. "Mmm..." Toni moaned, as she reached down and threaded her fingers through the soft brown hair and guided her tongue to where she needed to feel it.

The waves covered Toni and coursed through her body, building the excitement, causing her to ultimately tense and then relax. Her thighs jumped and quivered as the intensity rose to the point where stopping was not an option. Kara inserted two fingers into Toni's wetness, stroking in rhythm with her pleasuring tongue.

"Yes. Like that. Oh, yes!" Toni cried. She held Kara and her pleasuring tongue in place and bucked up against it when her orgasm passed through her body, draining the built-up pressure and leaving her panting in its aftermath.

Toni released her hold. Kara's mouth trailed a path back up her torso until once again the bodies molded together, spooning, flesh to flesh. Kara reached up and brushed a damp tendril away from Toni's face.

Toni sleepily whispered, "Thank you."

"Anytime," Kara answered. "I miss our times like this together."

"I know you do." Rolling over Toni looked into Kara's deep brown eyes. "With all the time that I've been spending with Jared, I sometimes feel like I've been cheating you. But, I love him. You understand, don't you?"

"I do. I want you to be happy Toni, and if Jared is what makes you happy, then I want you to be with him."

"When you put it that way I feel worse, like you don't make me happy, and that's not true either."

Kara brushed a kiss along Toni's lips. "I don't mean it to sound that way. I don't think either one of us is meant to be solely with each other. We love men too much." She smiled. "But, I do love you, and I'll miss it when things change."

Hugging Kara close to her, Toni answered, "We'll deal with it when the time comes."

The evening twilight was turning ever darker outside of the window. Toni and Jared sat across from each other, after the waiter cleared the remnants of their dinner away.

Jared took a drink of his scotch, placed it back on the table, and cleared his throat. "Toni, there's something I need to discuss with you."

Toni smiled and lowered her voice, mimicking Jared's stern inflection. "You've seemed a bit distracted this evening. What would you like to discuss?"

He smiled at the stiffness of her answer, recognizing how she had mimicked the formal tone of his previous statement. He should have known no matter what he had to say, she'd find a way to put him at ease. "Remember when we first started going out, I told you about my father's business?"

She nodded. "He owns a paper mill in Wisconsin, right?"

"Yes," he paused.

"I remember you telling me that you had wanted to grow up and go to work for him, but he wouldn't allow it."

"Yes." Jared nodded. "He said at the time that he had many reasons for not hiring me right out of college, but he never really explained why." He took another sip from the glass. The alcohol warmed him inside and urged him to continue. "I got a call from my mom the other day. It seems the two of them have been doing some talking. I haven't been home in almost ten years. During that time, I worked very hard to get to my position. Apparently my father's been keeping tabs on me, and NOW he feels it's time for me to come home and take over the entire operation."

Toni was quiet for a moment. Finally, she looked him in the eye. "And is that still something that you want to do?"

"I'm not sure. All the while, I've been working so hard to prove to my father that I could have been good for the company. It was as if I was told I would never make it, and I worked to prove him wrong. Now I'm finally good enough for him and should just come back?"

Toni nodded and started to say something, but stopped.

"What?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I was just thinking a couple of things. You can tell me I'm all wrong if I am, but this position he's offering you is the same position you thought you would get some time ago, right?"

"Yes."

"And at that time it was your dream job." She paused. "It was just what you wanted to do with your life. So, you go out, learn the ropes, and build yourself a fine reputation. Now that you're in the highest position that you can achieve there, you're going to be satisfied the rest of your life?"

Jared shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. "Go on . . ."

"Is it possible that your father made the right decision and in turn gave you your own opportunity to grow and develop to your full potential? It's something that may never have happened if the business had just been given to you right from the beginning."

"You're right . . . you're always right."

Toni smiled. "Not always. This would be a good move for you, business-wise, wouldn't it?"

"Well, yes it would be."

She played with the napkin on the table in front of her. "Then I think you should at least go talk with him and see what he has to say."

In the silence that followed, the waiter placed their bill on the table. Jared knew they both were considering where that would leave them if he did decide to take the position. He stood, reached for the bill, and then held out his hand for her to take. He squeezed her hand and tried to reassure her with his smile that she had been right, because he couldn't say the words.

With the bill paid, they stepped out into the brisk, autumn night. Even with the possibility of him leaving, Toni seemed to be in high spirits. They walked hand in hand down the street past the buildings that towered above them and through the cobblestone parkway back to his apartment.

As they entered the foyer, he took her coat, then hung it in the closet. While she went into the bathroom, he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses and carried them into the bedroom.

"Now that looks inviting."

He heard her voice behind him as he leaned over the bed, pulling back the covers. He turned to her and smiled. "No, you look inviting."

"Me?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder with flair.

He sat on the edge of the bed. "Yes, you. Come here."

She sauntered across the room, exaggerating the sway of her hips. Her short, full skirt swishing from one side to the other as she walked. She stopped directly in front of him, and pressed herself between his knees. He ran his hands up her legs and over the soft swell of her backside, massaging the flesh through the silky material that covered her bottom.

"You are so sexy," he breathed into her stomach as she pulled the sweater she was wearing up to expose her bra to him. He dipped his tongue into her bellybutton, pulling her still closer. Nudging the waistband of the skirt lower, Jared kissed her exposed flesh. He knew already that he was going to miss touching her while he was gone. They should find a way for her to come with him. But his thoughts turned a different corner when she reached down and removed the sweater. He leaned forward to taste her, then pulled back. "Hold on. I have an idea."

She stepped back and he left the room, returning a minute later with several large, fluffy towels. She raised an eyebrow. "Now what are you doing?"

Jared smiled wickedly and approached the bed, spreading several of the towels over its surface. Returning to his place on the side of the bed, he sat and again pulled her between his legs. Slowly he unzipped the back of her skirt and let it drop to the floor.

"What do you have in mind?"

Scratching the silky material of her bra, he teased her nipples through the fabric, then opened the clasp of her bra and exposed the puckered nips to his teasing tongue. The straps of the material trailed down her arms.

"You'll see," he answered. Hooking his fingers through the waistband on her panties, he drew them to the floor. Holding her close to his chest, he stood, feeling her breast press against him. He traced the outline of her lips with his tongue while he turned them around, and after placing her on the edge of the bed, he removed his own clothing and climbed onto the bed. He pointed to the towels. "Move over here."

She slid to the center of the towels, her head now propped up by the pillows. Then after reaching for the wine, he straddled her. "I offer a toast," he said, filling the glass and handing it to her before pouring one for himself. "To us and our future." The crystal clinked and they both drank a salute.

Jason refilled the glasses, then handed her his, but kept the bottle. With her hands full, she was effectively immobilized. Pouring a bit of wine across her breasts, he bent forward and started to lap at the liquid. He licked and nibbled, tasting the tangy wine mixed with the taste of her body. He drew on her nipples as if they were straws, causing them to elongate and harden. He licked all around her breasts, the sides, the bottoms, and returned to the crevice between them, dribbling more wine into her bellybutton. Moving lower, he continued to drink both her and the wine. The aroma of the fruit mixed with her scent as he drew lower still.

"Can I put these down?" she asked.

He smiled up at her and shook his head. "And don't spill a drop. That may be your side of the bed you spill it on." He poured the wine into the curls that tangled at the juncture of her thighs. Lying between her drawn up legs, he placed one arm under each and proceeded to drink the cocktail he had mixed. This was truly the nectar of the gods. His tongue searched out every crevice of her body.

"Jared, you're driving me crazy, and I'm going to dump these glasses of wine on you if you don't do something about it."

He moved up and placed the wine on the bedside table along with the glasses, and then moved back to cover her body with his.

"Are you going to fuck me?"

"Yes," he whispered.

She wiggled below him. "Now?"

"Yes," he answered again, and aligned his body with hers. Slowly he pressed forward, encasing himself within her walls. "God, you feel good."

She smiled up at him. "You don't feel so bad yourself." Quickly he pulled out and thrust into her. "Oh!"

"You like that?"

"Uh huh."

He thrust into her again. "You want me to do it again."

She gasped then managed another, "Uh huh."

He kissed her, fueling the passion that was building inside. "Then I will."

And he did. Their bodies took over and they thrust and bucked against each other. Her cries rose until he knew that she would come. He loved to watch her as she gave herself up to him. Her head rolled from side to side and she licked her lips. Her eyes closed, and then--just as she was about to come--she bit down on her lip. He watched the color flush through her body and felt her tighten around him.

He kept moving until slowly her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him. "Hold on a minute," she requested, slightly out of breath. After a couple of minutes of him holding still within her, she pushed slightly against his chest. "I want to move."

He sat back and she rolled over, onto her hands and knees, and presented herself to him. Jared smiled and leaned forward and licked the crevice where the wine had previously traveled.

"Jared."

He moved behind her and placed the head of his cock at her entrance. She was hot and wet, her lips swollen from his pounding. As he slid in, she tightened around him. He groaned against the sensation. "You know I can't take this very long..."

She looked back over her shoulder. "Then maybe we should stop," she teased, then bumped back against him.

"I don't think so." He grasped her by the hips and started to fuck her. First moving slowly, then building as his urgency grew until he was pounding his entire length into her, driving them both into a frenzy. He felt her fingers brush against his balls and he knew she was playing with herself. He loved it when she did that. He could watch her do it for hours. But right now, the mental picture of her hands playing with her pussy and his balls, mixed with the tightening of her cunt, drove him over the edge, and he cried out as he came. She shuddered around him and he knew she was also coming, feeling the wonderful sex course through them. They collapsed on the bed, wrapping themselves within each other.

"I love you Jared," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

He kissed her cheek. "I love you too." He noted the smell of sex and wine wafting through the air just before he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Toni and Kara sat across from each other in the booth at Jerry's Diner. Toni glared at her friend, "All I'm saying is that you didn't have to give Joe my number and you didn't have to tell him we were roommates."

"I didn't give him your number . . . and the other part just slipped out. All I said was, yes, you still worked at the bookstore, but you were off that day. Besides, I thought he was going to be calling me, not you."

Toni rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Toni. He was cute, and he seemed like a nice guy."

Toni knew Kara was sorry, but she still had to deal with the situation. "You have no idea what kind of shock I got when I heard him on my answering machine." She traced her finger over the edge of the coffee cup. "Joe wants to meet with me."

"Why? Who is he?"

Toni looked away. She surveyed the crowd, but nothing registered. Not even the screaming child in the next booth. She chewed on her bottom lip, then answered. "He's somebody I knew a long time ago."

"What do you mean?"

Toni took a deep breath, then another sip of her now cool coffee. "He's my husband."

Kara's eyes grew wide and she leaned across the table. "Excuse me! What do you mean he's your husband?"

Toni stared into her cup. "We were never divorced."

Kara's eyebrows rose. "What?"

"We were young, and I was foolish. I had no money to pay for a lawyer. Thankfully, there were no kids to consider. I just knew I had to get out, so I ran. He never tried to find me. Until now."

"All these years you've kept this from me?"

Kara placed her hand on Toni's. "I'm sorry."

The waitress appeared and refilled their cups. After she had left, Kara asked, "Why did you have to get out of your marriage? He seemed like a really nice guy to me?"

Toni thought back to her life with Joe. "Joe and I were married right out of high school. We had a close crowd that we hung around with. Our lives revolved around drinking, sex, and drugs. It didn't matter who we did each with, and I felt like I was addicted to them all. I just decided that if I was going to get myself out, I had to leave it all behind."

Kara stared at her. "You never told me any of this. I always thought of you as the down-home kind of girl." Then her expression turned serious. "What are you going to do? If you love Jared, you've got to take care of this."

She fidgeted with the napkin in her lap. "I know. Maybe I can clear up this whole thing while he's gone."

"Why don't you just tell him about it?"

She shook her head. "No. He wouldn't understand. I'm totally different from what I was like, and I don't think he would understand how I could just walk away from a marriage and commitment. I'm afraid he'd think I could do it to him."

"Toni, you have to do something. Right now, by letting Jared go home, you're letting him just walk away. He's good to you. He loves you. Don't throw that all away. Try telling him."

"I don't know..."

"Just try."

Toni checked her watch. "I'll see. If he's leaving, he's going tonight, and I'm supposed to meet him in an hour. I better go."

"I'll catch the bill. You get moving. Hey, what are you going to do about Joe?"

Toni shrugged into her coat and grabbed her purse. "I'm going to meet with him." She leaned over and gave Kara a kiss on the lips.

"Tell Jared good-bye for me. And don't forget you're helping me with inventory tonight."

"I'll tell him, and I won't forget," Toni answered, and headed for the door.

Toni drove over to Jared's apartment and found him cleaning out his refrigerator.

"Need a hand?"

"Yeah, thanks," he said, tossing half a head of browned lettuce into the garbage.

Toni grabbed the bag and held it open for him while he continued tossing the last of the food. "I guess this means you've decided to go after all."

He tied off the bag, set it aside then turned to her. They stood facing each other, unsettling thoughts running through their minds, wondering what was happening to their relationship.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know what I should do. What do you think? Tell me and I'll do it."

"Jared, you have to do what you think is right."

"But what would you do?"

She crossed the room and washed her hands at the sink. She had to find a way to show him that she loved him, and still show that she'd be all right. Not looking at him, she answered, "I know you have to go help your family. They need you." Jared began to wash his hands then looked at her, questioningly. She knew she had to say more. "I need you too, but I have Kara here to help me."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head as he dried his hands on the towel. "That makes me feel great. You say you need me then tell me Kara will take my place."

"That's not fair, and you know that's not how I meant it. Kara is not going to take your place. She can't."

Still Jared brooded. "I feel like you are pushing me away."

"You asked what I thought. I told you. I'm sorry it's not the answer you wanted. Why do you ask me things and then not listen to what I have to say?"

"Don't start that again."

This was not going the way she had hoped. She took a deep breath. "Fine," she said as she got her purse. "I'm going home. When you decide what you're going to do, let me know."

Jared caught her by the arm before she could leave. "Toni, please don't go. I don't want to argue with you."

She wanted him to stay, needed him, but this wasn't just her decision to make. She stepped into his arms.

Jared pulled her into a tight embrace. "Come with me," he whispered, lips against hers.

Toni considered what he was asking. Could she follow him? Just walk away for the second time in her life? First, she would have to take care of the problems created the first time she walked away. "Jared, you know I can't. At least not right now. Maybe in a couple of weeks I can come see you."

His voice was pleading. "I want you with me. I love you."

"Jared, why are you first asking me this now? I mean, I love you too. You mean the world to me, but this is the first time you've brought up me joining you. Besides, you need to deal with your father without the distraction of me."

"But I need you. I don't think I could make it one week without feeling your touch, or your breath against my skin."

She smiled. "Now you're exaggerating."

She pulled his mouth down to meet her parted lips. They kissed slowly, each giving and taking from the other.

"Let me give you some memories to take with you, " she whispered before kissing him again.

Within minutes, they were naked in each other's arms. After they made love, Toni sat up and brushed a few damp hairs away from her flushed cheeks. "Well Sexy, are you still going?"

He sat up and sighed. "I don't want to. But I really don't have a choice, do I?"

"Truth?" she asked, snuggling closer.

He kissed her ear. "Please."

"You'll regret it if you don't." She looked into his eyes. "I think it would be good for you. It would be good for us."

"How's that? Absence makes the heart grow fonder?"

"Yeah. It'll make us stronger." She lay back down and stretched her arms above her head.

Jared looked down at her, affection overflowing large dark eyes. "I love you. I'll always love you."

"I love you too," she smiled, pulling him back down to her.

As they lay together, each was thinking about the past, present, and future together. It was a few minutes before she swallowed back a lump in her throat and spoke.

"It may be a while before we are lying together like this again."

"I know," he replied, nodding. "We'll make it through this." He looked at his watch. "Sweetie, do you have anything to do this afternoon? If I'm gonna go, I have some shopping to do. Want to come with me?"

"I promised Kara I'd help her with inventory." She looked at Jared's watch. "In fact, looks like I'm gonna be late. Can we meet for dinner?"

"Damn, Mom's got me scheduled on an evening flight into Milwaukee."

Toni swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. Reaching for the phone, she told him, "I'll call Kara and tell her I can't make it."

"No, Honey. Go. I'll come by the store on my way to the airport. Just in case I don't get to see you later, let me say good-bye to you now." He reached up and pulled her back into his arms, kissing her tenderly. "Do you think Kara will be mad if you're late?"

"She might, but I won't."

They made slow, sweet love again. When Toni finally left, her heart was soaring, until her mind reminded her heart that she hadn't told Jared her secret. She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell him. They would have had to talk and there hadn't been time. He had enough going on in his complicated life without her adding more to it.

Later that afternoon, Jared knocked on the door of the closed bookstore. Waiting for someone to answer, he studied the downtown Jeffersonville neighborhood. He had to hand it to Kara, she'd done well. Her first shop had been in a run-down neighborhood, but only a couple of blocks from the University of Louisville campus. But there she'd been able to save enough money to move across the river to a better neighborhood complete with cobblestone streets and quaint tearooms overlooking the river. Now located between a cafe and an art studio, her business flourished.

Kara opened the door and motioned him in. "Hi Jared. Toni's counting in the back."

"Okay," he said, but didn't move in that direction right away.

Kara turned to him. He was standing with his hands in his pockets looking at the floor. "Jared?"

He looked up. "Kara, I know you and Toni have been friends for a long time..."

"Yes?"

He took a breath and it all came out in a rush. "Well, I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean to come between the two of you, and I wanted you to know that I really do love her."

She smiled. "I know. I hope that everything goes well for you with your dad. I know Toni will miss you when you're gone, but hopefully everything can be settled quickly."

"Yes, I hope so too," he said, staring at his feet again. "Well, that's all I really wanted to say."

She smiled again at his awkwardness, and gave him a hug. "Go see her," she said, and pointed the way into the back of the store.

Passing through the door, he called out to Toni.

"Back here," she answered.

Piles of boxes and shelves of books filled the room, and he headed in the direction of her voice. He met her halfway, and greeted her with a smile. Dirt smudges crossed her cheek. She was dirty, but she was beautiful. He opened his arms to her, but she held him off.

"Oh Jared, I'm filthy!"

"I don't care," he said, and gathered her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head. "I can only stay a few minutes, but I wanted to say good-bye."

She looked up into his face. "I'm glad you did, but I thought we did that this morning. Oh, and this afternoon," she smiled.

"Ah, we did, but I needed to see you one last time." He kissed her then, tenderly one kiss after another, until they both were breathless, and wanting more, and knowing they couldn't have it. Finally, he pulled away. He reached in his pocket, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and handed it to her. "I wrote down my parent's number and you can call me there whenever you want."

"Okay," she said. "Call me when you get there, so I know you made it alright."

"I'll be fine, but I'll call anyway." One more hug and kiss and he was gone. She stood staring at the door for a minute longer, and then opened the sheet of paper. There was more than just a number on it.

Dear Toni,

You are right. I would have regretted not going to see them although I do regret that you are not going with me. I will miss you lying next to me. I will miss your kisses and I will miss your loving, but most of all, I will just miss you. Maybe this business will not work out for me, and maybe it will, but no matter what happens, I know you are the best thing to come into my life, and I don't want to lose you.

Loving you,

Me

She wiped the tears from her eyes as she folded up the note. Again, he had found a way to make her feel special to him. A hand offering a Kleenex appeared over her shoulder, and she took it and wiped her tears.

Kara put her arms around Toni and rested her head on her shoulder. "You really do have to get this Joe business taken care of."

Toni nodded. "I know, and I will. I'll call him tomorrow."

The following afternoon, Toni picked up the phone and dialed the number for the hotel that Joe had left on her answering machine. She willed her fingers to stop shaking. The phone rang three times and as she started to hang up, she heard it abruptly stop.

"Hello, Toni."

He'd known it would be her. The smugness in his voice made her throat dry and she tried to swallow. "Hello, Joe." Her voice cracked, giving way to her nervousness. She took another breath before continuing, this time calmer. "You've been looking for me?"

"Why wouldn't I be looking for my wife?"

Her temper started to rise, but she bit it back. "What do you want, Joe?"

"Let's not talk about this over the phone. Meet me in the bar here in half an hour. We'll talk then." The line went dead.

She was tempted to not go, but if she was going to take care of this, she had to do it now. Leaving a note for Kara on the refrigerator, she headed for the door. Briefly, she stood with her hand on the doorknob. Should she change her clothes? She decided against it. Joe would be expecting a woman in a short skirt and heels, with enough cleavage showing to turn every eye in the bar towards her voluptuous figure. She would not give him the satisfaction. He could see her as she is now, what the real her was like. Faded jeans that molded to her body and a t-shirt tucked in, flattering her figure, but not flaunting it, and a comfortable pair of Doc Martens covering her feet. Her blonde hair was long and framed her face. It was a look she had become accustomed to and she'd be damned if she was going to change just because she was meeting him.

Getting behind the wheel of her well-used Audi, she started toward the meeting she had put off for six years. She couldn't help wondering if he had changed any. Did he still look just as good? She could still remember the good times. He had been a wonderful lover, and as she turned the corner, she realized her body was betraying her. She didn't want the wetness to be growing between her legs. She didn't want her skin to be tingling, remembering the touch of his hands. She shouldn't be doing this to herself. Asking for a divorce was hard enough without having to face him with visions of him lying above her, pulling at her emotions. Think of something else. Think of the other hands that touched your body. Think of the other women he invited into your bed. Think of the drugs, and the drinking, and how you never had any money. By the time she reached the hotel, she was more under control.

Entering the bar, she glanced around the room. She expected to find Joe hitting on a waitress or the bartender. Instead, he was seated at a small table near the back, right where he'd had a clear view of the door, and been able to get a full view of her before she approached him. "Hello, Joe."

He looked at her for a moment longer. "Hi, Toni. Sit down."

She took the chair across from him. The waitress appeared and Toni ordered a Coke. When she had left, Toni turned her attention back to Joe. She knew he'd been studying her while she ordered, and the thought unnerved her a bit.

"You look good."

It was not what she had been expecting him to say. She had been ready to defend herself. "Thank you."

A silence stretched between them, and the waitress returned with her drink. She took a sip and placed it back on the table.

Joe was the first to break the silence. "Why did you run?"

She tried to meet his eyes, but couldn't. She answered simply, "Because I wasn't happy."

"With me or life in general?"

She studied him a moment before she answered. He'd aged gracefully over the past six years, but he looked tired. Even still, he looked sexy. His blue eyes crinkled at the edges, bits of gray flecked through his temples. "I'm not the same person I was when we were married. Our life consisted of parties and sex. I needed to become my own person. All I ever knew was you and the lifestyle. Everyone we hung around with was screwed up. Nobody could hold a steady job. And we didn't care. Then one day I realized I couldn't do it anymore. I wanted to be normal. There had to be something more. So I left."

He clasped his hands together and leaned forward on the table. "Why didn't you talk to me? I was your husband."

She sat up straight. "Because you were in love with the woman I didn't like. You enjoyed it when we were stoned. You enjoyed getting drunk, the group sex, the partner swapping. I couldn't do that anymore." Looking him in the eye, she thought she would find defiance or anger, but realized that what she saw was a touch of sadness, or maybe it was regret. Could she have been wrong about their lives so long ago?

He relaxed into his seat. "Toni, I guess you were right to leave because you never really knew me." He took a sip from his glass, and she realized he wasn't drinking whiskey. He motioned the waitress to bring another. "Where did you go?"

She smiled a sad smile. "Actually, I didn't go far. Just as far as Indianapolis. I found a job, started going to night school. That's where I met Kara. When she moved here and opened her store, I came along. It's not 5th Avenue, but it pays well and I like what I'm doing."

The waitress reappeared. "Here you go. One ginger ale on the rocks."

He shrugged his shoulders in response, then asked, "Didn't you ever wonder what had happened to me?"

"Sure I did. Many times I thought about coming back to find you, but I just couldn't do it." She looked down at the melting ice in her glass. Finally she admitted, "I was afraid."

"Of me?"

She looked up. "No, mostly of me. Sure I was afraid what you would say, but mostly I was afraid that if I came back to find you, I'd lose me again. I figured you were still living that lifestyle, and I was afraid I'd get sucked into it again."

The silence stretched between them. Had she been wrong? "Joe, what happened after I left?"

He turned and gazed across the busy bar room. "When you left, I didn't know what to do. I kept thinking that maybe you just needed a little space, some time to sort out things. But the days turned into weeks and eventually I realized it wasn't going to happen. We weren't going to be happily ever after.

"It took me a long time to figure things out. Like you said, the lifestyle had its lures, and drugs and booze don't help you think any clearer. So, I quit them. I haven't had a drink in four years. I cleaned myself up and hired on as a salesman representing a sporting goods company. The company I work for is great, and I'm now in charge of the Midwest division with five guys under me." He glanced back at her.

Watching him tell his story, she knew he wasn't the man she had married. "It's amazing how much we've changed. When we talked on the phone your tone was more like the old Joe, and I almost didn't come."

He turned back to her then. "I know, and I'm sorry for that, but if I had told you I was a different man over the phone, then asked you to meet me, would you have believed me?"

She considered the question. She had had a picture of him in her memories and the reality clashed terribly now that she could look at the situation clearly. "No, I probably would have thought it was a trick."

He chuckled then. "And in reality, it was a trick."

She laughed too, and then considered what was happening "Why are you here?"

He looked at her a bit sheepishly, then grinned. "It's all Jamie's fault."

Was he involved with a woman named Jamie, and was she the reason he had come in search of her? Her questions must have registered on her face because then he laughed.

"Jamie is a guy, and the president of the company I work for. He kept setting me up with one woman after another. Eventually he came right out and asked what the problem was. He actually thought I might be gay. So, I broke down and told him how couldn't get involved with anyone because I was already married. He decided that the only way I could get on with my life was if I settled this whole business with you, and here I am." He swirled the soda around in his glass. "So, I understand from Kara that you're seeing someone."

"Yes, I am," she answered, feeling a sharp pang of guilt, knowing now that he had waited to get involved with someone until he had found her.

"Then my timing seems to be good." He smiled back at her.

The whole situation felt alien to Toni. It was nothing like what she had expected to happen.

He cleared his throat. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of having the divorce papers drawn up. After not hearing from you for so long I figured you'd moved on, and there's really no use in thinking we could get things back between us. Neither one of us are the same people."

It was another surprise. "Oh," she said.

"I've got them upstairs. Would you like to go take care of it now?"

"I suppose that would be good." She hated that she sounded like a dumbfounded little girl, but this was so sudden. One minute she was strategizing how she was going to pull a divorce from him, and in the next hour, he was offering it.

They stood while he threw some money on the table and she followed him out the door. Walking beside him, she had a strange reaction. The memories came flooding back, and she had the urge to reach for him so that they could walk with his arm wrapped around her as they had always done. Instead, she put her mind to work.

"How did you find me?"

He glanced sideways as her. "Well, when I finally decided to, it didn't take too much. You seemed to have made friends or left an impression everywhere you went. Your mom put me in the right direction, but she said she hadn't heard from you in three years, so I started where she last knew you to be." He placed the key in the door and opened it before her. "Why don't you stay in touch with her?"

He moved to the desk, so she sat on the edge of the bed. "When I first left you, I went to her. She didn't approve of my leaving. I guess it was the old, 'once you're married you're married for life' thing. She was of the opinion that I wouldn't make it without a husband. I guess I felt I just needed some time to prove her wrong." Her words brought back her conversation with Jared days earlier. They were both doing the same thing with their lives and had not even realized it.

Joe opened a briefcase and pulled out a stack of papers. Finding a pen, he handed both to her.

She looked them over. It was the basic set of divorce documents. There had been nothing to divide, nothing to hold the other accountable. When she signed them, she would be free. She removed the cap and signed several places where indicated.

"My lawyer will take care of filing the proper paperwork, and I'll take care of his bill," he said. "Would you mind giving me your address so that he can send you copies after they've been registered?"

She reached for a notepad and scratched down her address. "I don't know if Kara told you, but we share an apartment."

"Yes, she did. She seems like a good friend," he said as he placed the forms back into the briefcase. "I like her. She seems very upbeat."

"She is. She helped me through some very rough times, and we are very close."

He sat on the bed next to her, and she felt her pulse quicken. He stared down at his hands clasped between his knees. Finally, he turned to her and smiled. "You know, all the while we were together, I always loved you."

She smiled back. "I know."

He turned to her. "I have to admit something. When I saw you walk through that door today, I couldn't help but to remember the times when I held you against me. I hadn't realized just how much I missed that."

She knew she shouldn't, but she couldn't stop her hand that reached up to stroke his cheek. His eyes closed, and he turned to kiss her palm. Her heart flipped at the touch, and she realized they both needed this one last time. A chance to say good-bye like they never had. A fleeting thought that they were playing with fire crossed her mind. Visions of orgies flashed in her mind's eye, but she brushed them aside. It was just the two of them.

He reached up, threaded his fingers through her hair and pulled her to him. The kiss was tender and sweet, filled with longing and sorrow so much that she felt it to her bones and she melted against him.

He placed kisses all over her face, as if each one were remembering and memorizing her at the same time. He licked the tears that were slipping down her cheeks, and followed their trail down her neck. He pulled at the shirt tucked into her jeans and she realized that her hands had somehow undone the buttons on his shirt and were searching along his skin. She leaned back and pulled the top over her head, her hair flying wildly as she did so, until it again came to rest along her back.

"Please," he whispered, "let me love you one more time."

There could be no denial. She wanted it just as much as he did. They removed their clothes and climbed between the sheets, wrapping their bodies around each other. The familiar sensations mixed with the foreign while memories and the present mingled. She touched him with wonder and excitement. Her hand traveled across his chest, around his side, and down to his backside to pull him against her, sparking a fire within her.

His hand on her breast pulled and tugged at her nipple, as he knew she liked. He continued to kiss every inch of her, each kiss punctuated by wetness that marked her body as a spot he'd known before. It was foreign territory reclaimed, and she moaned when he would move to another area, another part of her being committed to the mental map. His hand moved over her hip and she spread her legs wanting him to touch her intimately. Instead, he pulled away and traced over her hip and across her stomach again.

She gave a frustrated groan and pulled his head away from her breast. "Joe, touch me there."

He smiled and went back to nibbling at her nipple, but moved his hand to cup her. He placed his hand over her entire sex and massaged her. She was very wet, and she felt his fingers slide back and forth between her pussy lips. He pulled the wetness up and brushed it against her clit, causing her to jump, but again went back to using the entire palm of his hand to press against her. He was driving her crazy and he knew it.

She reached down and grasped his cock firmly in her hand. He sucked in a gasp of air and she chuckled. "Fair game," she said. It had been so long since she had held him, but the years melted away and the familiarity returned. She remembered how he liked to be touched and just how he liked her to stroke him.

"God, Toni. That feels wonderful." He nuzzled against her neck, letting her stroke and pull on his hardness. The steady movement of her hand warmed against him, the heat rising between them. She stopped for a moment and palmed the tip of his cock, spreading the stickiness all around the sensitive tip, then returned to stroke him into a higher state of arousal.

"Stop," he whispered, but she continued. "Oh God, please stop," he pleaded, even as he thrust himself into her small fist. "It's been too long."

She stopped then but gently caressed him, teasing him. His breathing slowed and she knew he had himself a bit more under control.

"All better?" she asked.

"Not quite, but for the moment," he answered. Then, pushing her onto her back he nestled his hips between her legs, aligned himself with her waiting hole and pushed through.

"Oh!" she gasped out, and then moaned while he dropped his head and nibbled on her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. "I always loved making love to you," she whispered.

He smiled down at her. "So did I." With that, he began to move inside of her.

She closed her eyes, lost in the rhythm they created. The one they had learned to be theirs over a decade ago. Steadily he pulled out and returned to meet her rising hips with each thrust, their legs intertwining, the fever rising. She felt it start low in her stomach and she abandoned her steady movements and let their bodies take over.

"Yes, yes, yes," she chanted as her orgasm twisted even tighter inside, until the rubber band broke and sent the sensations reverberating through her body. She felt it all the way to the ends of her body and her fingernails dug into his flesh and her toes curled.

"Oh, fuck," he cried, as he too felt himself coming and pumping deep within her convulsing walls. Their combined moans of pleasure echoed off the hotel room walls.

Then they were left with sweat-covered bodies and salty faces from tears that had unknowingly been shed, and their marriage was ended.

They held each other for a long time. Finally, she said, "I have to go."

He pulled away from her and watched her as she dressed. She ran her fingers through her hair trying to bring some order to it. Giving up, she leaned over and gave him one last kiss. "Goodbye, Joe." Not looking back, she walked out the door.

Toni placed the phone back on the nightstand and lay back against her pillow.

"Well, has the time come?"

She looked up to find Kara leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed across her chest. "For what?"

"You said that when it was time for us to make a change between us, we'd deal with it."

"Oh yeah. I guess so," Toni answered. "Come sit." She patted the side of her bed.

Kara sat down on the side of the bed and Toni smiled up at her. Reaching up, Toni slipped the spaghetti strap of Kara's yellow camisole off her shoulder, leaving her breast exposed. Kara in turn slid her hand across Toni's stomach.

"What did Jared have to say?"

While teasing Kara's nipple she replied, "Well, it took me a while, but I finally explained everything to Jared. And even after telling him, he still understands. At least he says he does."

"You told him everything?"

"Well, not everything. I left out the part that I've been sleeping with my roommate, and I left out the part that I had sex with my husband, but I told him everything else."

"I'm glad. I knew he would."

"I was so scared to tell him. But since it was done and over with, there wasn't much he could do about it. He said he always felt there was something that I wasn't sharing with him. And he was upset that I didn't tell him earlier. Now that he's thought about it a bit, he says that it was just a part of my past. The divorce just paved the way to our happiness." Her forehead wrinkled a bit.

"So? What's stopping you?"

Toni looked her in the eye. "I'm worried about you."

Kara pulled her straps back up. "Hey, don't worry about me. I'll find someone to replace you at the store. Especially at this time of the year, there are college kids looking everyday."

Toni playfully pushed at Kara's shoulder. "You know that's not what I meant."

Kara rolled over Toni and pulled her into her arms. "I know, and I repeat, I'll be fine. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. Besides, there's this guy, Dan, who's been coming into the store lately. He has a really nice butt. I thought I might show him the erotic literature section one of these days," she teased.

"What?"

"Or maybe I'll ask him to move some heavy boxes for me." She smiled.

"Kara, you're awful!"

Kara giggled. "I know."

A month later, Toni was taking the Tri-State Toll way headed for Wisconsin. Earlier that morning

Kara had helped her load the last of her bags into the trunk of the Audi.

Kara slammed the lid on the trunk. "I sure hope that hunk of junk makes it all the way."

"Shhhhh....she'll hear you," Toni whispered. She studied her friend and smiled. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Kara took Toni's hands in hers. "Yes. I'll be fine. I feel like a broken record. There is one thing that's been bothering me. Well, not really bothering me, more like something that I'm concerned about. What you and I had was something special. Now you're moving two states away to spend what may be the rest of your life with one man. Are you sure it's what you want?"

Toni smiled at her. "Yes, it is."

"Good. I just want you to be happy. I'll miss you, but you're getting something better."

Toni shook her head. "No, don't say that. You've meant so much to me."

"Okay, maybe better wasn't the right word, but you're getting what you really want, and that is Jared."

The women hugged then Toni wiped a tear from her eye. "Hey, speaking of happiness, are you going to see Dan again soon?"

Kara looked shyly at the ground. "Yes, tonight."

"What? You couldn't wait for my side of the bed to get cold." At the look of surprise on Kara's face, Toni laughed. "I'm just kidding. I hope you two are very happy. I wish you the best. Keep in touch." She kissed Kara, got into her car, and drove toward her new life and her waiting love.

THE END

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