Chapter 3
We were walking down a street of small houses with well-maintained yards and I could see it was a friendly neighbourhood. A fellow was out mowing his lawn and when he saw Paula and I passing, he waved, so Paula waved back and I even raised my hand. A kid riding by on his bike called out a hello and Paula answered. Other people saw us and smiled, but the friendliness of the neighbours meant nothing to me.
I could feel my feet becoming harder to lift, my legs harder to swing. Each step was harder to take and I began to hold back out of fear.
Fear? Hell, make that terror.
I was going to meet Paula's mother and damn it, she was going to know that we'd had sex. I just knew she'd guess. Even worse, I knew I was going to do some stupid clumsy thing and she was going to know that I was an idiot. What would she think of her daughter, if she knew she'd had sex with an idiot, a dope, a geek, and a shy one at that?
Why had I agreed to do this? Whatever possessed me to say that I'd come back today and have supper with Paula and her mother? Why was I such an fool? I felt like I was walking into black hopelessness and it was growing in depth as I moved forward.
"CJ, what's wrong?" Paula's sweet voice brought me back to reality and the soft light of the afternoon sun.
"Sorry." I sighed. "It's just . . . Well, you see . . . I just can't . . ."
"Come on CJ, I'm your girl, you can tell me. I'll still love you." She had turned and was facing me, her face showing her concern.
I had to tell her. I had to explain. I just couldn't go through with it. I couldn't have her mother know that she had chosen a dolt like me to be her first. Yet, I couldn't talk, I still held Paula's hand, but now I was pulling back, ready to let go, ready to run.
"Clyde, are you scared of meeting my Mom?" She demanded. "If you are, you're just being silly."
"Please, don't call me that." I managed to whisper.
"Then get your buns in gear. Otherwise, I'm going to scream your name in the street for everyone to hear." She grinned at me. "Besides, I promise I won't let Mom skin you and eat you for breakfast."
I still didn't want to go any further, but she pulled on my hand and coaxed me along until we were standing on a doorstep in front of one of the little houses. She was pulling out her keys when the door opened and a middle-aged lady as small and as pretty as Paula was standing there.
"Eeew." The woman said as she looked at me. "Paula, why didn't you tell me your friend was a good-looking man? I would've put on a clean dress and some makeup."
"Because this one's mine, Mom." Paula giggled. "I don't want any competition from you or anyone else right now. Not until I'm sure I've got the hook set real good."
"Oho, my shy little sparrow has become an eagle has she?" The woman laughed. "Well don't just stand there on the doorstep young man, come on in. If you have put some strength in my baby's spine, you are certainly welcome in my house."
"Unh, Mom, he thinks he's the shy one of the two of us, but I know he's not shy when it counts." Paula blushed.
"Well come in anyway, shy or not. And, Paula, are you not going to introduce us?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. CJ Johnson, meet my Mother, Aileen McCrae, Mom, this is CJ."
"And what, pray tell, do the letters 'CJ' stand for, may I ask?" Mrs. McCrae asked.
"No, Mother, you may not. What those letters stand for is his secret, and not mine to tell." Paula laughed softly.
"I see, a mystery man, brought home by a daughter who seems to have lost some of her reticence and has come into her own enough to defend him." Mrs. McCrae smiled at me. "CJ, if you are responsible for that alone, then I feel that I already owe you a lot, though I am wondering if the cat has got your tongue. I have yet to hear you speak a word."
She reached out and took my hand in hers.
"Unh, Hi. How do you do, Mrs. McCrae." I managed to mumble as I held her hand and shook it gently. "I think I'm even more bashful than Paula is, really."
"Well, you've nothing to fear from me." She smiled. "And it's Miss, not Mrs. But, I actually prefer folk to call me Aileen or in your case, I am hoping one day you can just call me Mom."
"Mother!"
"Well, he is tall and handsome with a voice that stirs even me and you've come home with him while dressed in clothing that he must have provided. On top of that, you wear no bra now, though I saw you wearing one this morning when you left. Can I not make a deduction or two?"
"Omigod CJ, I am sorry. She gets like this at times and I don't know what to do with her." Paula was giggling and blushing bright red. "Please don't let her frighten you away."
Actually, for some silly reason, Mrs. - no, Miss - no, that sounded awkward - Ms. McCrae was making me feel less shy because she was teasing Paula and not me, although I knew I'd get my turn. I didn't know what to say though, so I just shrugged my shoulders and grinned weakly.
"Aha, and he's a man of few words." Miss McCrae grinned and winked at me. "Off with you, Paula, and find something truly indecent to wear so you can outshine me at the table. I'll entertain our guest while you're gone."
"Mom! You've hardly been introduced to CJ and you want to get him alone to grill him about who he is and what he does don't you?" Paula seemed to bristle, but grin at the same time, which I found very confusing.
"No, but perhaps I am wanting to warn him about your wicked ways." Ms. McCrae laughed. "Of course I don't know of any wicked things that you're guilty of, so I suppose I'd have to make up a tale or two to tell him, now wouldn't I."
"Mother, sometimes you just drive me nuts." Paula giggled and wrapped her Mom in a hug, then after a moment, she turned to me and winked. "I would like to change though, if Mom promises to be good, do you promise not to tell her about any of my wicked ways?"
"Me? I don't know any. " I said quietly, but I felt myself blush. "Of your wicked ways I mean. I only know the nice ones that I like."
Both Ms. McCrae and Paula broke into laughter and Paula patted my arm. "You're not going to run off though are you?"
"Unh, no. I guess not."
"That's good, Mom really doesn't bite, you know. She's really very nice."
"While I can be, I can also be very tough. But, I have no plan on being tough on you." Ms. McCrae smiled at me. "I like the idea of my daughter having a boyfriend who has brought my daughter out of her shell somewhat."
She reached her hand out and took my hand in hers, then smiled and led me to the kitchen where she gestured to a chair. "Have a seat and we'll get to know each other as I get the rest of the meal ready. I do hope you like lamb chops with mint sauce and new potatoes with baby carrots?"
"That sounds fine."I smiled as I sat in the chair that she had pointed to. "I hope you didn't go to a lot of trouble to fix something for us. We could just as well have eaten at the caf. on campus and then come over to see you later."
"Nonsense, I was expecting Paula home at any rate. All I had to do was thaw another lamb chop and throw in a few more potatoes." She waved a hand as if it was nothing. "How did you meet Paula? Was it at the University?"
"Yes, we're both taking one course and I tripped and fell, she sort of was in my way."
"Wait a minute, you tripped and she caught you? Are you sure it wasn't the other way around?"
"I'm sure." I lifted my arm and showed her the little abrasion there. "See, my mother has to buy bandages by the carton, boxes of them just aren't enough."
"Oh my!" Ms McCrae looked at me strangely. "Yes, I can see why Paula likes you so much."
"Would you please explain. I can't see one reason why a beautiful girl like her would be seen dead with a clumsy ox like me."
"Well CJ, I've had to buy bandages by the carton as well and I've tried to get Paula to talk to boys, but it's never been any use. I think she finds you so fascinating because she thinks the two of you are two of a kind. Both very shy and both a bit less than adept at handling things."
"A bit less adept?" I said quietly, then started to laugh. "I'm the guy who cleared everyone out of his whole highschool because I accidentally made a huge stink bomb in chemistry class, then dropped it on the floor in my hurry to get it into a fume cabinet. And, do you really want to know what happened in art class when I met Paula? I was in a hurry because I was late and as I rushed into the classroom, I tripped. Then I skidded across the floor and I ended up . . ."
" . . . skidding right into my arms." Paula interrupted as she came in, giving me a frown before turning to her Mom. "Then because it was so funny, I wanted to talk to him, but he was so shy that he couldn't talk. Not until he got annoyed with himself and blurted out in anger, just like I used to do. It was a match made in heaven."
"You've never been shy with me." I stared at her in surprise.
"And after the first time or two, you haven't been shy with me either." She crowed as she came over and grabbed my hand. "It's wonderful. I've never had anyone but Mom or Granny that I could talk to like I can with you. I always get tongue tied and then I drop things, or I blush and get all weird. I just don't do that with you. Being around you is just absolutely marvellous."
"You mean that you're with me because I'm shy and because I'm a klutz?" I stared at her in surprise.
"Unh huh." She giggled. "We just seem to fit and together, we handle stuff so much better. Look at you, out here talking to Mom who isn't someone you know, and yet you weren't flustered or anything. What do you think Mom?"
"I was just looking at the change in you." Ms. McCrae smiled. "You are chattering like a magpie and it is a delightful change, for you hardly talk most days. If this continues, I think I may feel the urge to hug CJ almost as much as you do."
"Hey, he's mine!" Paula giggled. "And I plan on hugging him a lot, but I don't suppose I'd mind if you hugged him once or twice a day."
"Do I get any say in this?" I had to grin.
"Well, maybe a little." Paula giggled. "But, only if you agree with me. No dissension in the ranks, I won't stand for it."
I just laughed and pulled her into my lap to hug her tight.
"And you are supposed to be shy?" Ms. McCrae laughed softly. "Hmm. I think I am having a very pleasant dream. However, the table needs to be set and I need to dish out our meal. Paula, the good china needs to be set out on the dining room table, please."
"You're letting me handle the Delft?" Paula sat up straight.
"Well, you said he has cured you of your clumsiness and if he did, this is the night to celebrate. While you are not doing anything CJ, in the livingroom, on the table near the fireplace, there is a box of silverware. We will need that as well."
Paula just stared at me, then grinned and pointed into the living room at the table her mother meant as she slid from my lap. "It's the mahogany box, CJ, and watch it, it's heavy. Just bring the whole thing in here and we'll pick and choose what we need out of it."
Paula and I managed to set the dining room table without so much as one loud clink or clunk of dishes and silverware. Then we even set out wine and water glasses from cut crystal. I was astounded. I wouldn't have expected people living in this neighbourhood to have settings like this. That's when I really started to look around at the furniture and the other things in the room.
Paula caught my eye roving the room and she smiled.
"Appraising things?" She asked.
"In a way, I suppose." I admitted. "Mom would be comfortable with the things that you and your mother have."
"Just comfortable?" She grinned.
"Unh huh. I'd say our families are about economically equal, which surprises me from the area you've chosen to live in."
"Mother. CJ says you're slumming." She told her mother as she came in with some of the food. "I caught him checking things out and he says his mother would be comfortable here."
"Would she not be comfortable in the neighbourhood?" Ms. McCrae asked quietly.
"Mom?" I laughed softly. "Mom would be just as comfortable in a prospector's log cabin, or sitting with the lieutenant governor in his mansion. What I meant is that your taste in furnishings and my mother's would go hand in hand. She likes nice things that are also serviceable and I can see that you do too. I was trying to pay you a compliment, but as usual it came out poorly."
"I would say you have corrected yourself well." Ms. McCrae smiled. "But, does your mother often spend time in either a prospector's shack or the lieutenant governor's mansion?"
"Neither really. She hasn't spent much time out of the house in the last few years." I frowned. "Mom isn't as active as she used to be and she blesses the Internet, because she uses it to keep track on things."
"Oh, and your father?"
"He was killed in a plane crash, several years ago." I sighed. "Could we talk about this later, please?"
"Sorry, I didn't know and we were just . . ." Paula spoke quietly.
"I know." I said abruptly. "And I'm sorry to be touchy about it."
I sighed deeply, knowing that if I was going to stay I should explain, otherwise I should simply leave and I didn't want to do that.
"I might as well explain. Dad was a prospector. He was a geologist and he met Mom when they were both at the University. They got married and after a few years, they got tired of working for others and decided to go prospecting. Mom's family always had money and they thought she was nuts, but they supported her decision anyway. I was born and raised in a cabin about a hundred miles from the arctic circle."
"So that explains why you're shy." Paula offered.
"Partly, but I think I would have been shy anyway. Dad was. Mom is the one who always dealt with people. The stupid thing is that Dad had just made a huge find, then had flown to Edmonton and recorded it. On the flight back, the plane he was in had engine trouble and came down in the bush. They didn't find the accident site for more than two weeks."
"Oh my. I am sorry we broached this subject." Ms. McCrae said quietly. "Why don't we sit down and eat now? Then you can either tell us the rest of the story or not say a word, whichever you see fit to do."
"There's not much left to tell." I sighed as I took the seat she indicated. "My uncle, Mom's brother, helped us to find men to start developing the mine and once it was starting to show what it was worth, Mom and I sold out. I think that's because Mom was afraid that I'd kill myself one day by being so clumsy. Since we retained a ten percent interest in the mine, I was taking business courses at the University, but to be honest, my heart really isn't in it."
"I can understand your reasons and it doesn't sound as if you really have to work for a living." Ms. McCrae shrugged her shoulders. "What would you really like to do?"
"To be honest? I'd like to write, probably silly romances, even if I have no experience in that at all."
"Hey, you have us." Paula grinned at me. "I'd say that was an experience."
"No one would believe what happened to us." I smiled at her.
"Oh, I don't know, some of the books I have started to read are quite strange." Ms. McCrae laughed. "Now would you like to know why I believe my daughter is so shy and so lacking in dexterity?"
"Mother!" Paula sighed deeply.
"Well, it is my opinion, no matter what you think." Ms. McCrae smiled. "You see CJ, I made several rather poor choices when I was younger. I got myself pregnant by one man and married another one that I should not have. The one that I married turned mean and when I divorced him, I feared for both Paula's and my own life. In order to protect her, I sent Paula to live with her grandmother while I tried to earn a living and still stay in hiding from the bastard."
"Oh Mom, I suppose you think Granny taught me to be shy and clumsy." Paula snapped.
"That is exactly what I think. She insisted on having you at home as much as possible and she discouraged you from having friends your own age. If you tried something and didn't succeed at it, she would do it for you instead. You are lucky to be able to read and write." Ms. McCrae sighed.
"You lived with my mother for ten years and when my exhusband was finally out of the picture, which meant that I could have you live with me, you were convinced that the whole world was out to harm you and that you were hopelessly clumsy. Of course by then you'd hit the last part of puberty and you were having a growth spurt, which meant that you lacked coordination, so when you came to live with me, I almost believed you."
"Oh, but Mother, I am clumsy."
"Hmmph, only at certain things." Ms. McCrae snorted. "I have seen you draw and paint for hours and never drop a pencil or a brush. Can you explain that?"
"No." Paula looked chagrined. "But, it's just not the same."
"Well, it doesn't matter. From now on, I think you will improve." Ms. McCrae smiled. "I think you now have a reason."
"You mean CJ?"
"None other." Ms. McCrae laughed, then glanced at her watch and around the table. "Dessert, then Miss Paula, you and I will clean up because shortly after that I must clean up and change. I am going to see Sydney tonight."
"Oh." Paula looked at her in surprise. "You're leaving us . . . alone?"
"Yes my dear. I am." Ms. McCrae laughed softly. "And, since you have someone here to keep you company, I think I will surprise my lover and stay over for the weekend. What do you think of that?"
"Omigod." Paula blushed then turned to me. "CJ, she means that I can . . . that we can . . ."
Ms. McCrae sighed deeply. "Paula, you are twenty years old. You are in charge of your own life. I'm not granting you permission to do anything because it is not my right to grant or deny that you do anything."
"But . . ."
"No buts, no arguments." Ms. McCrae snorted and stood up. "CJ, would you like an extra helping of anything before Paula and I clear the table for dessert?"
I was like Paula, slightly stunned at the whole discussion, so all I did was shake my head. Then suddenly I realised that I should offer to help clean up, but even that was too late. While we were eating dessert, Ms. McCrae began to speak again.
"CJ, my mother is old school Irish from a very well to do family, but she is very superstitious as well and you're going to find that she has instilled a lot of silly myths and nonsense into Paula's head. I'm sure Paula believes in leprechauns and fairies, so if she does something that you think is strange, please make allowance for it, won't you?"
"Oh Mom, there aren't any leprechauns or fairies around here." Paula laughed.
"Paula, there aren't any leprechauns or fairies, period." Ms. McCrae sighed deeply. "What proof do you have that they exist?"
"Well, what about the family curse." Paula said quietly.
"Oh my, that damn 'family curse' of your grandmothers. That, my dear daughter, is a pile of malarkey." Ms. McCrae said vehemently.
She turned and looked at me. "My great-grandmother supposedly managed somehow to cause a leprechaun to lose some of his gold and she claimed that he cursed her and her family for seven generations. She would not be able to have but one daughter and that daughter would have one daughter and so on."
"Well, that's what's happened isn't it." Paula said fiercely. "Where are your sons?"
"Oh, Honey." Ms. McCrae laughed softly. "It isn't lack of fertility that stopped you from having more siblings. After you were born, I did get pregnant again, then I discovered what kind of man I had married. He beat me until I miscarried. And after he was gone? At first I was leary of all men, then later . . . Well, it's obvious that Sydney and I won't be having any children. However we can't, and it should be obvious to you what the problem is there. If we could have kids, you'd probably be helping me to wash diapers, even now at my age."
Paula's eyes got huge and she turned to me slowly.
"Oh my." She whispered.
All I did was slowly shake my head. After all, what could I say at that point?