I'm planning to tell him how I feel because I can't keep it in much longer and I guess that I've finally gathered enough courage to tell him. It's going to be a nerve-wracking experience and I think that it's almost given that I'm going to screw up one way or another trying to express how I feel (one friend suggested inviting him over and wear only plastic wrap around my body, but that's a little iffy). So my question isn't about whether or not to tell him, but just wondering what you think of situations like this. Do they work out at all? What do you personally think of situations like these? Have you experienced or
know experiences like this? Is there any information I should know about this? Is there anything that I should worry about? And that's just the beginning of the list. I just want some consolation and relief, or if it unfortunately comes up, what is wrong with this. I know that I'm probably blowing this out of
proportion, but if this is love, then I guess I have some reason to be so uptight about all of this. So any advice the love doc has for me will be much useful, no matter how much I might not want to
hear some of it (though I hope that doesn't come up).

Laura, 22 Female USA

Hi Laura! Thanks for writing to me. Don't worry too much about this, your situation is not uncommon. But unfortunately advising you is difficult because these things turn our differently for every person.

I haven't experienced this kind of relationship myself, but my sister has, and she informs me that these kind of relationships CAN work, as long as both of you feel the same way. Before you say anything to him I would be very sure that he feels for you in a sexual way, otherwise you may alienate or embarrass him and that would be devastating for your relationship. From the sound of things he sees himself as a bit of a 'protector' for you, and if you come on to him he may wonder what HE did wrong to make YOU feel that way, when it's actually the total opposite. See what I mean?

Maybe talk to some others who are close to him and try to find out if he feels for you that way. He may also be concerned as to what others in your friends/family group will think if you two start seeing each other sexually after so many years as mutual friends, which may affect his commitment to a sexual relationship.

Whatever happens Laura, take it slow and don't be offended or embarrassed if he rejects your advances. Be assured that if he does reject a sexual relationship it will not be because he doesn't WANT to, but more that he feels he is doing you wrong. But if you both truly love each other, and are destined to be together, then nature will take its course and the relationship will blossom naturally without much effort at all!

I wish you the best of luck, and please keep in touch and let me know how it goes!

Love Doctor Dan

UPDATE FROM LAURA

Hi Dan, I thought that I would give you and update on my "situation" so to speak. But first, I would like to thank you on your advice. He does take the role of a protector of me since many of his friends are also mine, I've already known that he hasn't really seen me in a sexual way, or at least given much thought to it. I invited him over for dinner and afterwards, told him about how I feel and that I wanted to know if he would want to try and take our relationship on a different course. I kinda knew what was going to happen next,
but was still disappointed when he didn't totally say yes and run into my arms. I tried not to feel rejected (as you pointed out) and I had to explain to him that he's been the best friend possible and that he didn't do anything wrong to make me feel this way and that it was really something that I really wanted.

We decided that we would talk the next day and he left for the night (I did get a peck on the lips on the way out). He did come back the next morning and we started talking over breakfast. We talked about a lot of stuff and he decided that if I wanted to pursue a sexual relationship, he wouldn't want to regret not doing this later. We decided that because we already knew almost everything about the other and that we were so close already, that it was more the reason to take it slow with this new relationship. Our first real date's Friday and all I can think about is if kissing of the first date is too fast for him! Once again, thanks for your advice!