John and Argent by cmsix

Chapter 103

I was surprised that it didn't take more than a couple of minutes to make the connection and even more surprised to hear Jack Parsons say, "Hello."

Knowing better than to start out with an apology didn't help a thing. I couldn't keep from it. After all, this Texan had taken over a large part of the universe. It wasn't like I was jockeying for a negotiating position of strength. I couldn't get that job done and he probably knew it. If we'd found out about him I was pretty sure he knew about us, or about me.

"Sorry if I woke you. My name is John and it seems we have something in common. I held off calling you as long as I could stand it, but I can't stand it anymore, so here I am," I said, realizing I hadn't made a damned bit of sense.

"Could you give me a clue about what we might have in common?" Jack asked.

"I figured you'd heard my sad tale already, but I was on my way to a death by cancer when I was "rescued" from that fate by aliens and put back in time so they could watch what happened," I said, knowing I was probably babbling.

"Oh, yeh, I know about you. The cocksuckers aren't giving you any trouble are they? I'd be glad to give you a hand if they are," he said.

I heard a sleepy voice in the background start asking him who in the hell he was talking to at this time of night. I bit my lip hoping that I hadn't caused him any real grief, then heard him talking to her. He hadn't covered his pickup end of the phone and I got the feeling he didn't care if I heard.

"It's John," he said to her.

"John who? And keep it down. If you wake a bunch of babies you're going to be in a lot of trouble," she said.

"It's the John that was sent back in time by the other aliens. I told you about him," Jack said, and he was even toning down the volume a little, like she'd insisted.

"Oh. Oh! The guy they sent back to live with the Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons? Those other bastards aren't giving him any grief are they? Ask him to name names so we can start kicking asses," the female voice said.

"We were just getting to that, Nancy. He doesn't sound like he's upset or anything," Jack said.

A thought that became a worry flashed into my head then and via the link I asked Ralph if he was sure that we couldn't be heard off planet, by Argent, or any of the AIs with him. If he'd have a physical form in my presence I feel like Ralph would have given me such a look.

"No one that I don't want to hear this can hear it, and I don't want anyone to hear it except Frank, Phil, you, and I," he said.

Jack was back talking to me now, apparently whoever Nancy was, she was going to let him try to find out what the call was about.

"John, sorry about that, are you having trouble out of your aliens?" he asked, again.

"Not exactly. I managed to get them pretty much by the short hairs and I haven't loosened my grip so's you'd notice. They still have what they think of as "official" control over me but not real control. They cause a little disturbance from higher up every now and then, but I've been able to settle their hash with a sort of strike.

"My main contact with them sees things pretty much my way, but some of his superiors like to meddle occasionally," I said.

"Why don't I just send a few hundred ships to visit them and let them know that I don't want them bothering you?" he asked.

If Ralph had owned a throat I'm pretty sure he would have gulped. I could almost feel his surprise and then anxiety. I felt sorry for him but didn't have time to comfort worried AIs right now.

"I don't think you'd have to go to so much trouble. If you don't mind, could you contact Argent and let him know about our talk?"

"Sure, I'd be glad to. I'm guessing you have a good AI making this connection for us. Would it give Scotty the details?" Jack asked.

"I have three on planet, Ralph, Frank, and Phil. They are a little nervous about this," I said.

"Oh that, they don't have to worry. I wouldn't dream of doing anything in your neighborhood that you didn't ask for. I think I should insist that I can contact you any time I want to though?" he said.

"Well, what about it Ralph, it's time for the three of you to squat down and decide now," I thought to Ralph.

He didn't even wait, he just spoke to John himself, though I'm not exactly sure how he made the sounds; didn't matter.

"Jack, I am Ralph, one of the AIs with John. The three of us would be glad to communicate with Scotty and give him the details," Ralph said.

"That's great, Ralph. Can you do it while John and I are still talking?" he asked.

"Of course, in fact, Scotty and I are communicating now," Ralph said, and then went silent.

"So what is it they've had you up to, John?" Jack asked, though I felt like he had some idea.

"To me, it's like one of those reality shows. At first they gave me an allowance for the amount of freight I could bring with me, and then they turned me loose to make a life for myself. Things just snowballed from there," I said.

"You mean they've been filming you since you got there?" he asked.

"Every second, and it seems like I'm a hit on their video," I said.

"Would you mind if we took a look at it?" Jack asked.

"Not at all. I don't want to brag, but they told me some of their people even watch the whole time I sleep. I'll see if Ralph can send you what they have," I said.

Ralph broke into my head and let me know he could and then said he was.

"He said he's sending the dirty pictures now. I hope you won't be offended," I said.

"Why would I be?" he asked.

"Well, I do have more than one wife," I said, making sure not to sound defensive, or trying not to anyway.

"Oh, I won't be offended. Tell me, do you know how many you have?" he asked, and he sounded so normal about it that I told him the truth.

"Not right off the top of my head, but I can do a roll call count and tell you, if it matters," I said, wondering what he was after.

"I don't even think I can do that without Scotty's help, so more than one wife ain't gonna bother me," Jack said.

"Bother you? You big dicked bastard, it better not bother you. You have to sleep sometime," the female that I now knew was named Nancy said.

"Don't get all upset, Nancy. We're just talking," he said, to her.

"Just bragging to each other you mean. The whole fucking world gets killed and all you two want to do is brag about how much pussy you're getting. At least see if you can't get him to invite us over for a visit while you're bullshitting. Me and the rest of the girls are getting a little bored sitting around Dallas while you and Scotty are saving the universe," she said.

I couldn't help it, I laughed right into the phone before I could stop myself. No doubt about it, Nancy was a pistol.

"That's a good idea, Jack. Why don't you come by for a visit? I want a chance to show off and brag on my kids anyway," I said.

"Damn, me too. Sounds like a plan to me, maybe Scotty and Ralph can get it organized," Jack said.

"Well, they just about have to, don't they?" I asked.

"I know, but I don't like to be too bossy with Scotty, even though he don't mind," Jack said.

"I know what you mean but that ain't what I meant. I meant that it ain't like we could do it without them."

"You do have a point there," Jack said.

"Excuse me, please," Ralph inserted into our conversation.

"Of course, Ralph, what's up," I said.

"It is slang for a direction relative to the person using it, usually," Ralph replied.

"Jack, does Scotty have such a wonderful literal sense of humor?" I asked.

"As a matter of fact, he does. He doesn't use it much and sometimes I'm not sure when he is using it on me. I think it's an AI inside joke and I'm pretty sure Nancy eggs it on, a lot."

"What did you want to share with us Ralph?" I asked.

"There exist the possibility that we don't have enough room for our visitors and we three decided we should ask about the number coming so that we can prepare additional living spaces in the caves," Ralph said.

"You mean you actually live in caves?" Nancy asked, from their end.

"Yep, we all do, but they probably aren't the kind of caves you're thinking of. Ralph, Frank, and Phil hollow them out for us and go from there. Actually they are really pretty nice inside, as caves go."

"We can hold it down to just a few if we need to. I don't want to cause any hardship on your end," Jack said.

Ralph asked over our link if I wanted to hold the amount of visitors down and I told him that the three of them should decide how many they could make room for without heroic measures, and then give Jack the figure.

"We can make provisions for a few thousand within sixteen hours," Ralph sent into the phone link.

"That is more than enough. Even big dick ain't plowing furrows in the thousands," Nancy said, "make a space for a few hundred, that's probably all we can convince to come on short notice."

"Then there is no bother at all. Scotty can give us an exact figure later, meanwhile we'll make sure there is plenty of room," Ralph said.

"Good, you and Scotty can work it out and I'll go back to my beauty sleep. Don't let them stay up all night bragging to each other Ralph," Nancy said, and then it was back to Jack.

"I'd better get back to sleep too. You probably couldn't tell from just this first conversation, but if I'm not well rested and ready for anything in the mornings, Nancy can do a number on me, and she has a few dozen close friends that will help her," Jack said.

"I understand exactly what you're talking about. I think I'll go back to bed for a short nap myself."

With a few more closing pleasantries we let go of the connection and I went back to bed without waking even one woman as I got in it. I left the details to Frank, Phil, Ralph, and Scotty. Hell, they didn't need sleep and they didn't have women to answer to.