Dealer, I Am All In by cmsix

Chapter 5

"I asked about the best suite you had available but your clerk told us that he didn't have any rooms available," I said, as pleasantly as I could.

"That's a shame," the manager said as he produced an ornate golden fob with a rather large key on it and called out "Front" to the bellman. "Perhaps he will work out better at his next place of employment. I've heard they may be hiring at Burger King."

"I'd prefer to deal in cash. Can you keep an eye on this for me until we check out?" I asked, nodding toward the bundle of cash.

"Certainly," he said.

Jackie, Jerrilyn, the bellman, and I went out to the truck. The bellman retrieved our luggage, such as it was, with nearly a dozen hanging bags that held jeans and shirts and only three small grips and two makeup cases.

A parking attendant also appeared. Since he looked like he had at least been shaving for a few years, I relinquished my keys and gave him a fifty for his tip.

Another fifty also seemed to satisfy the bellman when he'd finished with our bags and after he'd gone Jackie and Jerrilyn tried to include me in the debate over which of the four bedrooms we'd use. I suggested that we try a different one each night and that if we needed to stay longer we could request a better room. With that decided we moved on.

"How can I entertain my girls tonight?" I asked.

"I want to see a rodeo," Jackie said.

"Me too," Jerrilyn said.

I called the desk and though the one that answered was very attentive, he didn't know of a rodeo within driving distance. I was afraid of that and I gave the girls the bad news.

"No matter," Jerrilyn said, "we can just get back to the wedding night festivities."

"Don't even think about suggesting we go dancing," Jackie said.

Even I knew that a showgirl or even an ex-showgirl would not consider a night of dancing to be fun, not for a year or two anyway.

It didn't end up taking us four days to find suitable diamonds for the girls. We found an excellent jeweler on the second day, and I learned a good lesson, as in, do not try to buy engagement rings without the engagees present.

The girls didn't even ask about diamonds at any time until they'd decided on the jeweler by looking around in his place. After that, they made sure they were talking to the owner and hit him with the plan.

"We need two engagement rings and the stones have to match. We want to select the diamonds and then you can make the rings to fit them," Jackie said.

"You want two matching engagement rings?" he asked, obviously surprised.

"Yes, he is going to marry one of us but he hasn't made up his mind yet. After he decides, the other one will be his concubine and I'm sure either of us would be upset being a concubine with a ring that wasn't as good as the wife's," Jerrilyn said.

I must say that I thought he took it very well. He did blush but he maintained a professional demeanor otherwise. They told him that they preferred a Marquis cut and when he asked them about the size they looked at me.

"I don't know that much about sizes and carat's but something in the range of fifty to a hundred thousand was what I had in mind, if they like them of course. If something bigger is required I'll probably need to swing by home and pick up more cash," I said.

I guess it wasn't too far out of line for the jeweler to have to sit down for a few minutes to catch his breath. At least he didn't faint, and I'm sure it isn't every day that people come in wearing blue jeans and talk about spending that kind of money. He even recovered enough to ask the girls about wedding rings.

"Later for that maybe. You never can tell, he might decide to dump us both," Jackie said.

"Just don't count on getting the rings back, buster," Jerrilyn said, giving me a solemn look.

Then they spoiled it by breaking out in laughter.

I was surprised by what a large diamond you could get for a hundred thousand and I think they girls were too. They decided on a couple of six-carat stones that were perfectly matched, with a set of very expensive earrings in mind, or so the jeweler said.

They were only thirty-five thousand each. And that's why I was glad the girls picked them out. If I'd bought them myself I'd have felt I needed to get stones that were large enough to consume the amount of money I'd decided to spend. The girls had quickly vetoed matching ten-carat stones that were sixty thousand each, saying that they would be too gaudy in a ring.

Even though our diamond shopping was done, and the jeweler said that the rings could be ready tomorrow, the girls would not leave the Adolphus. They demanded we try all four beds and that was that.

"We'll need the extra time to get started on thanking you for our rings," Jerrilyn said.

When we were done testing beds and ready to check out, the manager took care of me personally. He tried to show me the bill but I ignored it and asked him to just take the amount out of the cash I'd prepaid with. He did and handed me the change.

The truck and trailer were already out front and I tipped the same attendant the same amount, and after taking care of the bellman we were on our way.

I'd at least thought far enough ahead to have the manager book us into The Driskill in Austin and I let him know that the best thing they had with only one king size bed would be fine.

We were almost out of Dallas when Jackie reminded me that we hadn't looked around for another truck so we could pull the other trailer. I almost blew it off but decided that would be stupid. Five hours later we'd learned that it wouldn't have been stupid after all. We didn't find a thing like the one we had.

Austin was more fun than Dallas had been. I knew right where Texas Hatters was and we each got a normal hat and a straw for summer wear. Of course summer was over for this year but no matter, it would be back again.

We also went to my favorite bootmaker's place. Of course Charlie Dunn was long dead, but I'd found another guy I could at least tolerate. I'd already learned that Capital Saddlery was a bust without Charlie.

We'd taken care of our business in Austin on the first day, but this time it was me that wouldn't leave, not until we'd made it to the Broken Spoke for at least one night. The girls loved it, and I even got both of them to dance with me. The dancing in the Spoke is a kind they hadn't run into in Vegas. Showgirls didn't really need to know how to do the Texas Two Step or the Cotton Eyed Joe.

The next morning we went back to Texas Hatters. Our hats were ready and after paying the bill we shook the dust of Austin off our feet and hauled our asses home.

At least Jimmy looked glad to see me when we got home. Maybe he was just happy to get paid and not have to worry about my stock for a while. I had sad news for him though. I paid him all right, but we'd be running around a little bit more in a day or two.

After I introduced Jackie and Jerrilyn to Jimmy, they talked to him for a minute or two and then he took off.

"Damn, I thought Jackie and I were moving to East Texas to live in a double-wide and here you've got a real house," Jerrilyn said.

"Yeh, me too, can't you afford a double-wide?" Jackie asked.

"Of course I can, we can go and buy one tomorrow, but I'm staying in the house, and I don't want any griping when a tornado comes and blows it off into the woods," I said, and at least it got their mind off that subject.

I gave them the two-bit tour of the house and after it was done they complimented me on my foresight. I was reluctant but I finally asked them what they meant.

"Why, the way you have the bedrooms arranged," Jackie said.

"Yep, all we need is a door put between the master and the big one behind it, and we can turn it into a big walk-in closet after we get all of that furniture out of the way," Jerrilyn said.

"That was smart of me wasn't it?"

Jackie spied the TiVo then and she and Jerrilyn started speculating about which dirty movies I probably had saved. They both groaned when they went to the "Now Playing List" and saw that it was completely full of "World Series of Poker" reruns.

I cooked supper while they unpacked us and I treated them to New York Strips, their first encounter with Ranch Style Beans and their first Lone Star Long Necks. They were suspicious about the beans.

"Don't worry, if you make sure to eat some everyday, they will stop giving you gas after four or five days," I said.

I got dirty looks from the both of them but they were good sports and cleaned their plates. Later that night I noticed that they felt like they had to slip off to the bathroom every time they needed to fart.

After breakfast the next morning they were thrilled when I told them they'd get their first riding lesson today. I was surprised when they caught on so fast. I hadn't considered how athletic they'd be but after wrestling with outrageous costumes for years they were in excellent physical shape.

With the first lesson over we fed all the stock and loaded up for town. We went directly to the dealership where I'd bought the one-ton and damned if they didn't have another one just like it, same color and all. Every thing would have been perfect if there hadn't been a Slingshot Yellow Chevy SSR in a conspicuous spot.

What the hell, I kinda liked it myself, and at least the girls talked the sales manager into promising not to order any more one ton four wheel drive Silverados with the same color as ours, except for the other one he was ordering for us. I didn't even point out that the SSR had only two seats, but Jackie did bring it up.

"Doesn't matter," Jerrilyn said, "If we all want to ride in it at the same time, Tommy can sit in one of our laps."

They both thought that was very funny.

So, we'd come to the dealership in one truck and we each drove one home, and we still had another one on the way. It made perfect sense to the two of them.

"Why would you have horse trailers with no truck to pull them?" Jackie asked, and I couldn't think of a good enough answer.

They relaxed for a day driving the SSR around town and exploring. The next day we took Chester out to the airstrip and filled him up with avgas. They spent the rest of the day driving him around town and putting more miles on him than they had since they'd owned him. Now that he didn't clatter and they understood that his idle was supposed to sound like that, they liked him even better.

The next day we loaded up and went back to Amarillo to pick up our other new trailer. While Jackie was driving I called my CB man and told him to get busy with radio and radar detector setups for the SSR and both the new one tons.

I asked to talk to Jr. after that and my CB man put him on. Jr. was not sure that he could find a place for a CB setup in the TR-3 and he said so. I told him I'd try to bring it up next time I came.

Beating my CB man to the punch on alerting my mule man, I called him next. He said that the old man that raised the big mules took his word for it and that I could come up anytime I wanted to and he'd take me there so I could pick out the mules I wanted for myself.

The rest of the trip for the trailer was uneventful. We went directly there, hooked the trailer, and came directly back, splitting the driving about equally. I saved myself a trip to Shreveport by sending Jimmy Holcomb down to the trailer lot with a box of hundreds to pay for the new trailer.

By carefully limiting Jackie's and Jerrilyn's introduction to horseback riding I had kept the saddle sore time to a minimum. They were anxious for our first camp out but I put them off until they had a little more experience and had accustomed their asses to fit the saddle better. I also pointed out they hadn't even received their first pair of custom made boots. They agreed to let it slide this weekend but made me promise that next weekend was a go.

We left for Springfield Friday morning. I pulled a sixteen-horse trailer with the first one-ton I'd bought, Jackie drove the SSR and Jerrilyn drove the new one ton. Needless to say Jr was tongue tied when he met the girls. He was ready to go to work though and we left him to it and headed to my mule man's place.

He called the other old mule man and let him know we were coming and then showed us where to go and gave us directions while Jackie wrote them down. He'd had something come up and he wasn't able to go with us.

When I asked him about paying for the mules he looked a little glum and said I could just make a deal with the old man.

"No, that won't work," I said, "I need to pay you for the mules and you can pay the old man."

"Why you gotta do that?" he said.

"First thing, I know I can pay you in cash and never have to worry about any troublesome details with the IRS. The old man might be the same way, but I don't know that.

"Second, I don't want you to think I'm trying to beat you out of what you usually make. Every deal I've had with you suited me fine and you've been more helpful than you know.

"If the old man wants cash on the barrel and can tell you what he wants for the mules now, call him and ask him what it is. Then I'll pay you what you want for them and you can just put his money in an envelope and I'll give it to him when we get there," I said.

"Well, actually the old man would rather have a check, and the mules are different prices. I've never been able to figure out how he arrives at the prices but he has his on way of doing things," my mule man said.

"See, it has to go through you. I wouldn't give him a check if I never got another one of his mules," I said.

"Well, could you just go get 'em and let me send him a check later?" he asked.

"Suits me fine if it suits you and the old man," I said.

"No problem then, daddy knows I'm good for it," he said.

That was a surprise for me. All this time I hadn't known the old man was my mules man's father. It had just never come up I guess.

With that settled, my mule man said he'd call his daddy and let him know we were on the way. I guess he also told him not to even bother mentioning the price of the mules to me, because he never did.

To tell the truth I didn't give the first shit how much my mule man or his father made off the mules. I'd driven all over Eastern Texas, Western Louisiana, Southwestern Arkansas, and Southeastern Oklahoma shopping for mules and hadn't seen any I really liked until I found my mule man near Springfield Missouri. And he'd never tried to palm a bad one off on me.

We found the old mule man's place in an hour and a half and then spent an hour picking sixteen mules out of the twenty-two he had for sale. There wasn't really much to it. If I'd had more room in the trailer or had another trailer with me I'd have bought them all, they were that good.

The old man helped us load them but there wasn't much to that either. They didn't give a bit of trouble; they just walked up the ramp as if there was nothing unusual about it.

"Johnny tolt me ya don't even work 'em ta harness. It makes me glad to sell 'em to ya," he said, after the last one was loaded.

"That's right, I don't even pack much with them, they're only a hobby for me," I said.

"Ya know they're all broke to ride to, don't cha?" he said.

"No, I didn't know that at all. I've never tried to ride one," I said.

"Well, ya kin if ya wanna. They don't really mind," he said.

"I'm glad you told me. If you'll trust me enough to hold the others, I'll come back for them next week," I said, even though I didn't have a damned idea what I'd do with so many mules.

"Mister, your word is good with me, the mules'll be waitin' on their ride," he said, and then he went off toward his house.

Jackie and Jerrilyn had liked the old man right away and they didn't give me a bit of trouble about going "mule crazy." I wouldn't have cared if they had, cause I liked him myself.

We stopped back by my mule man's house on the way back. He wasn't there when we got there, but his wife told us he should be back any minute and asked us if we'd like a glass of iced tea. We took her up on the offer and we'd just sat down at a picnic type table in the yard when he drove up.

He came over and asked us how things had turned out and was surprised when I told him that I'd bought all the mules his father had for sale.

"Gonna be some sad sacks 'round here for a while," he said.

"Why's that?" I asked.

"They're always trying to talk daddy down on his mules. I know three fellas that have been stallin' for two years hopin' he'd get mule poor and lower the price. Now they're shit outta luck. Pardon my French ladies," he said.

"Just tell them they'd better buy the next bunch he raises as soon as they can, cause there's a man in Texas that knows what a good mule is worth. Especially now that I know they're broke to ride too," I said.

"I thought you knowed that all along," he said.

"Well, I do now and that's all that counts."

We finished our tea and he consulted a list he had in his pocket, giving me the total for the mules I had in the trailer. I asked him to go ahead and total up the others too and it surprised him a little but he did, and I paid for all of them. I thought about the feed they'd eat until I got back and asked him if there'd be any extra charge.

"I know the answer to that and it's nope. Those mules will be waitin' for ya, well fed, until ya come back for 'em or they die of old age. That's just how daddy is," he said.

If it suited them it tickled me pink. Jackie, Jerrilyn, and I got in the truck and drove back to my CB man's place.

Jr had everything done, he even had the radar detectors installed, and he showed us the best place to hide one quickly in the SSR if we needed to. I paid what he asked and tipped him an extra hundred for each truck.

When I got inside the shop my CB man asked if I'd wanted the spare radios and linears for these two trucks too. I told him I did and reminded him about the spare antennas for both of them too.

He put it all on the counter and Jr carried it out while he totaled up the bill and I counted out hundreds. I reminded him that I'd need a complete setup for one more truck soon.

Jr was talking to Jackie and Jerrilyn when I got back outside. He was explaining about a handle and that they should listen for at least six months before they talked.

"Why can't we use our real names?" Jackie asked.

"Well, ya can now if ya really want to. Handles started out when you used to have to send in for a license before ya was supposed to talk on 'em. That's all over with now, but havin' a handle is just a tradition now," he said.

"Why should we wait six months before we talk?" Jerrilyn asked.

"So's ya won't sound like you're some dummy that just bought a radio and don't know what ta say on it. No offense.

"And I might as well warn ya now, there ain't gonna be no end to the jackass truck drivers that's gonna try to talk to ya just cause you're a woman. It'll be even worse if ya pick out a sexy soundin' handle and worse than that if they see how pretty ya are. That's just the way it is," he said.

I could see that the wisdom in that wasn't lost on Jackie and Jerrilyn. We said goodbye to Jr and headed home with our little convoy.

We were beat by the time we got home, but I did notice that there was another UPS sticker on the door, letting us know that we'd missed out on some package or the other. We unloaded the mules and then headed for bed and didn't worry about the package.

We didn't get up bright and early the next morning, not by a long shot. We slept in until ten AM and still complained about the grind we'd had yesterday.

Riding lessons started later than usual today but things still went well. They were making such good progress that I took them for a short ride into the woods. They liked it a lot.

We were back to our normal early rising by Sunday morning and the girls broke some news to me during halftime of the Cowboy's game.

"Thanksgiving is next week and we want to cook thanksgiving dinner during our campout, so we'll need to head out early Wednesday morning. That will give us time to get things arranged and also time to ride back and get anything we forget," Jackie said.

I didn't argue and I was glad for the early warning. I'd have to make sure the mobile DirectTV was in good working order before then, lest I miss the annual Cowboy's Thanksgiving Day game.

After Monday morning's riding lesson and ride through the woods we cleaned up and went to town to visit the local hardware store. I'd been informed that we needed a cooker that was capable of "deep frying" a turkey.

The store had several different models and I also noticed for the first time that they offered propane for sale in other than the small throwaway containers. There were five and ten gallon tanks. You could buy the propane and rent the tank, with a deposit that equaled the price of the tank. You could also buy a tank and then keep trading it out when you bought more propane.

It amounted to paying a deposit and just never reclaiming it. You used the propane and brought the tank back to exchange it for one that had been refilled, and paid for the gas. It made sense to me.

When the UPS truck arrived Monday afternoon there were several packages. The girl's rings arrived, but that wasn't all. They also each got a pair of their handmade boots. And they also got a large box with a portable oven. It was a complete surprise to me.

"It's so we can cook the dressing over a fire," Jackie said.

"Great, I'm all for anything that has something to do with cooking," I said, and they laughed at me.

"Maybe we can figure out a recipe for baked Ranch Style Beans," Jerrilyn said, and then they laughed at me again.

I was a little surprised that the packsaddles for the new mules hadn't come in yet.

The next afternoon was the big delivery from UPS. What with twenty-two packsaddle rigs and twenty-two more Royal Grand Champion Cordura Blankets and Hoods and then twenty-two nosebags to feed the new mules. The deliveryman had his work cut out for him.

We had our work cut out too after he'd gone. We were on into the night sorting out and storing the stuff. At least we wouldn't have to worry about packing all those new setups. We already had things arranged to use only the mules we'd had for a while. None of the new ones needed to make the trip.

The next morning we were loaded up and heading out a lot sooner than I'd expected to be. Everything went much faster with Jackie and Jerrilyn to help out. The same was true for the unpacking after we arrived. They took care of the mules and horses while I dealt with the tent. They even had firewood gathered and a fire going in the circle of stones before I was done.

I felt a lot better about the horses and mules this time. It wasn't bitterly cold, since it seldom got that way in this part of Texas. It was down in the low thirties though and the stock seemed much more comfortable with their blankets and hoods on. They did look ridiculous though.

By the time the sun went down we'd had our supper and were set for the night. The tent was as warm as toast inside with the new wood stove, and we'd reloaded it and turned down the damper in hopes that it would stay going all night.

We gave our three person sized arctic grade sleeping bag, which was on top of an airbed, a good christening and even had our breath back in time for the "Top Ten List" via DirectTV. Then, through the modern miracle of TiVo we watched Jay Leno to boot.

The girls had me up early the next morning to build up the fire outside so it would have plenty of coals to bake their dressing. The turkey arrangements were a snap; the only troublesome part was opening the cans of peanut oil to fill the large cooking pot.

Breakfast was perfunctory with bacon, eggs, and biscuits but at dinnertime they served turkey, dressing, creamed corn, Ranch Style Beans, mashed potatoes, candied yams, fruit salad, Lone Star Long Necks, and sweet potato pie. Who'd a thunk it, showgirls that could cook.

The next best thing about having the girls with me was that they sent me into the tent while they cleaned up the mess. They said it was like any other thanksgiving; the man pigged out and took a nap before his football game came on. And that's just what I did.

The man might just as well have slept through the game, because a team that shall remain nameless beat the Cowboys like yard dogs. I turned it off after they got behind by twenty-one points in the first quarter. I learned the next day that things went downhill from there.

Our camp out only got better though. The weather warmed up considerably the next day. We put away the horse and mule blankets and assembled our handy dandy picnic table and ate our leftovers like we were supposed to. We were having so much fun that we stayed another night.

We packed up Sunday morning and went back to the house. After unloading and turning out the stock we fed them all and unpacked everything. Jackie and Jerrilyn cooked a wonderful dinner but afterwards I was disgusted once more because the damned Redskins won their game Sunday afternoon. Oh well, next weekend would be better, the Cowboys were playing the hapless Jets and the Redskins and Giants had to play each other. It was too bad they couldn't both lose.

I had a surprise trip for the girls starting in the morning. They were surprised but I wouldn't say they were happy about it. They piled into the truck though and we headed for Dallas. I hadn't even told them where we were going at first.

They were in better spirits when we stopped to pick up my wagon. It was all I'd hoped it would be and maybe a little more. It really looked great since the company had decided to use aluminum wheels.

I was surprised when I asked them to recommend a place to buy a trailer to haul it home on.

"You don't need a trailer, we designed it to be able to be towed on the highway with a normal hitch. We even put together a light kit with brake lights and turn signals and we have a dealer tag for it," the head man told me.

What a fucking deal. All we had to do was pay him the other half and take off with it, but it wasn't actually that easy. He recommended we put some weight in it to make the suspension function better at highway speeds. He said a thousand pounds would be enough.

Back in the truck, we located a feed store and bought a thousand pounds of whole oats for the horses and mules. When we returned to the shop some men helped me transfer the load, we hitched it up and off we went.

Jackie and Jerrilyn were happier about the whole thing now. They were already discussing more camping gear that would be easier to haul in the wagon.

"This will free up a lot of room in the packsaddles from things that are more bulky than heavy," Jackie said.

"No doubt, and now we can nest things that would have been inconvenient to nest on muleback," Jerrilyn said.

"And the feed. A thousand pounds of oats takes up barely any room at all in the trailer. It was a pain in the ass to re-bag it to pack on the mules," Jackie said.

They kept it up all the way back home, and after the wagon was unhooked they went directly to the Internet and started placing orders.

Our last truck had come in and the car lot called to say it would be ready Tuesday afternoon. We picked it up and took off Wednesday morning for Springfield. Jackie and Jerrilyn pulled the trailer that had Chester inside and I pulled the empty one to bring the mules back.

We let Jr put the radio in and collected our spares and two more radar detectors. We had already started using one of the detectors from another truck.

Jr said he could fit the radio into the TR-3 and he found room in the trunk for the linear. But he thought it would be sacrilege to make any actual holes in Chester's bodywork for the antenna mount, so he suggested a bumper mount. We left Chester with him and said we'd be back for him tomorrow afternoon.

The old man seemed happy to see us, but sad to see his pets go. We didn't tarry long and he isn't very talkative anyway. We went directly to my mule man's house and he was happy to keep the mules overnight for us. We were worn out and happy to get checked into the Holiday Inn in Springdale.

The next morning we picked up Chester first, and after he was tied down we made it back to my mule man's place for the mules. Our trip home was uneventful and unloading Chester was no problem.

The new mules did present a problem though. I didn't have enough stalls any longer. No troubles though, my favorite carpenter was happy to hear from me and promised to have a crew out the next morning to add on to my barn.

Jackie and Jerrilyn put some supper together and we all settled our nerves with comfort food. As far as I'm concerned all food is comforting, and since someone else was now cooking mine it was even better.

"Maybe we'll be through driving all over the country picking up things for a while," Jerrilyn said.

"Maybe, if Tommy hasn't ordered another big surprise from somewhere down by El Paso."

There had been a minor tragedy when we left that morning though. I was listening to the CB as we left town, naturally, and I heard someone call for ShotgunWillie. In seconds ShotgunWillie answered, telling that he'd seen a weight cop five miles back down the road toward Linden.

He was obviously driving a log truck, since he wanted to know if the scale house north of Queen City was open or if there were any other cops on the way to Domino.

At least I had never used that handle, since I hadn't transmitted one word on the CB yet. I hadn't even mentioned what my handle was to Jackie or Jerrilyn. I just needed to select a new one and by now I'd heard about ten thousand that I didn't want to use.

I could only remember one other handle that I'd noticed was only being used by one person. Fastwalker seemed to be a log truck driver too, and I wondered how in the hell he'd come up with a handle like that.

After breakfast the next morning while we were finishing our coffee, the girls decided they were going to give the Internet some more use. They had more room for camping toys and they were also getting into the Christmas spirit. As if any woman needed a special season to encourage shopping. I kept my mouth shut though, until they asked what I was going to be up to.

"After I feed the stock, I think I'll do a little shooting."

"Shooting what?" Jerrilyn asked.

"My rifles, and my Glock. I might even drag out my black powder rifle or maybe spend a little time with my bow," I said.

"Wrong. You're going to drag out every weapon you have and give us a demonstration," Jackie said.