An email To My X by cmsix

Merry Christmas, HO HO HO, and I'm mocking Santa Clause there, not commenting on your character, so try not to be offended.

Yes, Brother Johnson and I went to Dallas for Thanksgiving. We visited my brother Bill and his wife, Borther Johnson's daughter. The thing I was most thankful for was that Brother Johnson didn't have a wreck either way. I will be staying home for Christmas. Home is where the heart is you know, and unless you're just a complete dumbass it is where the traffic accidents usually aren't.

Brother Johnson is a wonderful Christian gentleman and he has a kind word for everyone. He is not the kind of driver I want to ever ride with again. I'm not saying I absolutely won't if times get hard, but then again I usually never say never anymore.

Yes I have food. In fact I fixed myself some venison for supper last night. You may not know this, but Bambi is a little tough if you cook him in the microwave. He was good though.

There is also good news for modern man right here in downtown Atlanta Texas. I was walking back from SmithTex Express night before last, carrying a pizza home, and I was hailed by a young black lady who noticed my pizza box. She asked if she could have a slice and, rude greedy bastard that I am, I refused her. Undeterred she kept walking with me until we came to Pine Street's intersection with Florence Street, where she took a right and headed for Hickory Street while I continued on my way to Miller.

After I was walking alone again, I started feeling guilty and wondering if I had selfishly refused to feed a hungry person, and this close to Christmas too. I felt better as I got to my carport and saw her as she reached Miller Street herself. She'd come up Hickory Street.

I shouted her name(she'd told it to me earlier), Samantha, and went over to give her two slices of pizza before I went into my house.

Later, she came by knocking on the wrong door, but close enough for me to hear it. I went outside and she had come for a visit, so I invited her in. Lo and behold, right here in Atlanta Texas, on Miller, Hickory, and Pine streets no less, we have a real live prostitute working. Isn't that amazing.

I had to decline her wares since I no longer function in that capacity, but it was nice to know that Atlanta has come so far from its humble beginnings.

By the way, do you have any idea what a "rock of hard" is? That's what she was busily trying to earn enough money for. I have a notion that it might be some type of smoking material but I'm just not up on the modern lingo.

Anyway, after she realized that she wasn't going to earn the money for her "rock of hard" at 601 Miller, she asked to borrow my phone and called her brother, Earl, and then left shortly thereafter.

Damned if I didn't catch myself just in time before telling her Merry Christmas HO HO HO as she left.

Chessley