So, you want to know why I like horror movies, huh? No? Then why did you click on the link? Shoo, shoo!

Okay, now that they are gone, those of you who do want to know, here we go. There are several reasons I like horror movies. First, I'm a masochist. Yes, I torture myself by sitting down and watching what could possibly be some of the worst movies in existence so the hope that 1 in 100 may be gold. If you don't know what I mean, go to badmovies.org - read some reviews, you'll understand. You'll probably also be entertained.

Second, horror movies have the most possibility for nudity and sex this side of a XXX rating. Back in the 70s, you could see naked boobs in a PG-13 movie! How sweet is that? Very! Everybody is always getting naked and having sex in these things.

Third, and really the most important, I like seeing people get eaten. More over, I really like seeing chicks get eaten. Or possessed. Or raped by monsters. Really, it's a win-win-win for me. If I go long enough without, I will actually crave to see a movie in which someone gets eaten. I will flat out think - "I need to see a movie where large critters or alien beasts eat people" then I go and rent it. Every happen to you?

Fourth - the sadist in me really loves it. Seeing people get butchered really gets me going. Not necessarily horny, but I get all kinds of into it. Zombies ripping people to pieces, grotesque breasts slashing people to goo, or just the bloody thirsty maniac hacking away with his weapon of choice. Ahhh, I love it! Especially when the writer/director gets creative and does something really cool - Jason X where Jason dunks the chicks head into the liquid nitrogen.

That is why I love them. They don't scare me - the Ring got me a little tense, which is saying something. But there is something about the primal nature of it all that touches me. I'm sure some doctor somewhere will tell you that is a bad sign.

Now, I'm sick. If you've read the About Me page or some of my stories, you've figured that out. I like fantasy rape, violence, snuff, and nastiness. I see undead horrors ripping up and eating a hot chick and I think "man, they should rip her clothes off, chow down on her tits, and rape the hell out of her." I see psycho killers axing up people and wonder why doesn't he doesn't take a moment to relieve some sexual desires. Sometimes the movies provide. Yes, I am sick.

And so, since I have covered the whys, I will go now onto the whats and whichs. Some of my favorite movies, scenes, characters, events, what have yous of the horror world. Oh, I know! I'll do a top ten count down. Those are always fun! Disclosure - these are from memory, and mine ain't good. Some of my facts could be wrong.

10 - The Hellraiser series.
Okay, so it's a whole series, not just one moment. I can pick my favorite moment from the ones I have seen (need to rent the last one or two). I love it in Bloodline the dude summons the demon into the girl's skin. Well, I like the part right before that when they feed the girl the disgusting food, then flay her, and stretch out her skin for the demon. I also love Pinhead. I mean, what better "role-model/hero" for a sadistic person like me that some dude dresses in leather with pins through his head who can summon animated chains complete with barbed hooks to impale and slash people. I mean, damn! You add a sex drive and that has the makings of the perfect S&M/Snuff film!

9 - Castle Freak
A mutant in a castle watches a dude go down on a chick then fuck her. Never having been with a woman or probably even seen one naked, he decides to try it out and kidnaps her (she's a prostitute, by the way. Nothing wrong with that - valuable and worthwhile service in my opinion). Course, not knowing what to really do, instead of sucking on her nipple, he bites it off. And he doesn't eat her out quite right - little to literal. Course, the chick wasn't happy to be kidnapped and stripped by the Castle Freak. Even less happen when he starts to eat her. He might beat her to death to stop the screaming - I don't remember.

8 - Galaxy of Terror
Big, blobby worm creature appears out of no where then strips and rapes a hot chick. Nuff said.

7 - Demon Night 3
The main big, bad demon chick (in human form) is dancing around all sexy. This guy is holding a gun to her. She asks him what he would like. He asks if she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. She precedes to suck the gun barrel, giving it a hand-job, too, and then spits out the bullets. Also, there is this nerdy chicks who dresses in a rather unimpressive cat costume. She ends up getting possessed and turning into a highly sexy cat-chick and seduces the jock love-interest in a tomb. Good stuff.

6 - Evil Dead
Ash's sister gets raped in the forest . . . by the forest! Excellent!

5 - Humanoids from the Dead
Or something like that. Chicks getting raped (noticing a pattern?) and impregnated by fish-creatures from the ocean. I think this is the one where the one chick gets raped, and then starts having sex with her boyfriend. Only to discover that her cunt has turned into a vicious fanged maw. Dream sequences as I recall, but cool none the less.

4 - Jack Frost
Hot chicks gets raped by a snowman - he's using his carrot nose for something else. I was glad to see the pyscho-killer having fun.

3 - Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Okay, so I'm talking about both the original and the new one. I prefer the new one: much creepier and disturbing. Really sick and pervy! But, in the original, it is a girl who gets slammed up on the meat hooks and left to dangle. Definite bonus.

2 - Darkwolf
It's really hard to see a decent werewolf movie. Vamps, not so difficult. This one wasn't great, however, it wasn't bad compared to others. Also, it had this really hot scene with two naked chicks painted up as werewolves doing a photo-shoot on the roof of a building. The two get very into it and start caressing and making out. It was really hot - I like seeing lesbian scenes in which the girls are really into it, more than just licking tongues. This was awesome.

1 - Dracula 2000
I know - most people hate it. Happens. Well, I really liked it. Hot vampire girls, a cool Dracula, an interesting story, a vamp movie that used the old lore about vampires being vulnerable to silver (yes, this is the old lore! Vamps, not werewolves), and the best "true history" for Dracula - and a reason why Dracula was vulnerable to silver. I loved it.

Okay, so these really aren't the best, they are just what I remember at the moment. And they do give a representation of what I like in horror movies: the evil creatures and bad-guys getting something or the chicks being taken. I like what I like and not ashamed to admit it.