Author
:
Uther Pendragon (
anon584c@nyx.net
)
Homepage of Author: none
Date: April 1997, revised December 1997 and February 1998
Size: 56K, 2 parts, 9,700 words, 18 pages
Code : m/f teen rom
Author Information:
"When mild-mannered AI Thomas Atkins logs on to the Daily.Planet.Com ISP, he slips into a telnet booth when no one is watching and emerges on nyx.net as: SUPER-UTHER" (from the Uther Pendragon Frequently Unasked Questions). In Malory's famous Le Morte D'Arthur, "Uther Pendragon" is the father of the legendary King. In his modern incarnation, Pendragon is best known for a remarkable series of self-contained "romantic" stories about the lives of a married couple, Bob and Jeanette Brennan. The titles of these stories all begin with the syllable "for". He has produced several stories outside this series, and the present work is one of the best of them. Unfortunately the author's strict repost policy has meant his work is sometimes difficult to locate. His writings include:
The For Series (for details see Ole Joe's Guide ), Gift Wrapped, Perfect Love, He doesn't (love her like I do) , Gully Washer, Igrayne, Jolly Lott, Vials, Snarl, Duty, Susan, Wagtail, Wrapped Attention, Dune What Comes Naturally, Windmill Saga, Life Sentence and Conjugation.
Celestial Review:
From Celestial Reviews 176 - April 26, 1997
"April's First" by Uther Pendragon
(anon584c@nyx.net). I originally had
trouble finding Part 2 to this story; and I eventually went ahead
and posted
my review of parts 1 and 3. I concluded that there was no Part
2; it was an
April Fool's joke. Get it? The title is April's First, and the
story was
posted on April 1, so....
Anyway, the real action takes place in
Part 2, which didn't exist when I
posted my original review. The author invited others to submit
their
versions of Part 2. The only author I know of who accepted this
invitation
was Plainman, whose "Excluded Middle" did a superb job
of integrating
Plainman's own style and his Princess story line into the framework
set up by
Pendragon. Now Pendragon has posted his version of the missing
Part 2, and
the result is another really good story.
The story actually describes two very
interesting and healthy relationships
in the life of a 16-year-old girl: her romantic relationship with
her
boyfriend and her sibling relationship with her older sister.
Both
relationships are well developed, and both help make this a sexy
story.
One of the best things about this story
is its attention to minor details.
For example, when April agrees to make love to Brian for the first
time, he
returns to his room that night and fantasizes about the big event.
Suddenly
he realizes that his room is a mess and that he doesn't want April
to see it
that way, and so he straightens it up. The author attends to details
like
this in such a way that they contribute to instead of detracting
from the
overall focus on the first-time experience between the two young
lovers.
The story does contain some awkward grammatical
structures; but this author
always revises, and I have a feeling they'll be gone in future
postings of
this story. For example, April "...wanted this waiting to
end -- if even in
pain." Those last four words are awkward; and several instances
like this
really do disrupt the reader's train of thought. Fewer readers
will be
distracted (as I was) when Brian's cock peeked discretely at April,
but the
distinction between discreet and discrete is worth preserving.
The story is
so good that I (like most other readers) was willing to ignore
these minor
flaws, but why not write a perfect story?
Here's a further note with regard to
style. Brian "could tell that she was
nervous and that her acceptance was more mental than physical."
Is that
REALLY what the author meant to say? It seems to me that April's
hesitation
is largely mental, which is the opposite of what the sentence
says. I KNOW
what the author means (I think), but when I look closely, the
story sometimes
doesn't help me as much as it should.
My students have learned that it's often
a good sign when I give them a paper
back with red ink all over it. When they look closely, they discover
that
the comments are not really about mistakes - they are suggestions
for making
the paper perfect. The students often make the corrections and
submit the
paper and win a state competition or something like that. Applied
to this
story, this means that although this story won't get straight
10's right now
[sic!], by the time I make my selections for the Top Stories of
1997, this is likely
to be in the Top 10. The only problem with the story is that in
this middle
part the author has focused so heavily on getting the emotions
and details
right that he has let the language stand just slightly in the
way of
expressing this excellent story as accurately and convincingly
as possible.
If you've read none of the April stories,
I suggest that you start by reading
the entire current (or the eventually revised) version of Pendragon's
"April's First" - all three parts. Then mentally obliterate
Pendragon's Part
2 from your mind and read Plainman's version. Remember: details
will
diverge, because Plainman did not see Pendragon's Part 2 before
he wrote his
version, and the authors take completely different perspectives.
Ratings for "April's First"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Other Celestial Awards:
#3 on Celeste's Top 23 Stories for April
1997
#16 on Celeste's Top 100 Stories for 1997
Reader comments:
None found.
My Comments:
As the title implies, this story depicts the "first time" of April, who has just had her sixteenth birthday. Both she and boyfriend Brian come across as really intelligent, likable people, and the author's sympathetic portrayal of their relationship adds greatly to the charm of this beautiful story. In a discussion of the obligations of writing about young people (a.s.s.d, 9/8/97), the author commented: "I sincerely hope that "April's First" looks more convincing than the dry descriptions and statistics of the Sex Ed books". Certainly this story appeals to people of a similar age to April in much the same way that First Love does on a more ambitious level.
An unusual feature of this story is its structure, with the actual sex occurring in the middle, rather than the final section of the story. The extended denouement is one of the many ways this story is set apart from the rest of the "first time" stories, and demonstrates the author's care in providing an extensive framework and background to this central event in the relationship of the protagonists. Pendragon is extremely good at surrounding the purely physical interactions with details that make this much more than a "mindless sex" story: the conversations with Carla and the episode of the charm bracelet provide engaging glimpses into the context in which April and Brian's love occurs. The descriptions of the conflicting feelings April experiences are extremely realistic and believable.
The author has made two revisions of the story. These reduce the original three parts to two (without changing the overall length) and introduce a number of minor changes. The "discreet" error noticed by Celeste is corrected, but her other alleged stylistic problems are left unchanged; evidently the author sees no problems with the text as is stands.
This is an excellent story, realistic and beautifully detailed.
Appendix: Excluded Middle by Plainman ( an10176@anon.nymserver.com )
Some background information is probably necessary for those unacquainted with Plainman's stories. Where better to obtain it than from Ole Joe 's indispensable Guide to Alt.Sex.Stories:
"PLAINMAN has this to say about
his writing: "The heroine of my stories is
Princess, a highly successful and very bawdy 40 year old lady
lawyer. She has a
gruff and macho husband named Trooper, whom she loves very much,
and who
sometimes has to discipline her for various transgressions, which
include
interludes with her brother David, a writer, with her best friend
and lover
Judy, who is married to David, and sometimes with out and out
strangers.
Princess and her court love to have all kinds of sex, and to talk
about it. You
could say the stories are about the sexiness of sex talk."
This particular story has Princess narrating the "missing"
part of April's First, while David and Judy engage in playful
banter with her. There are some interesting observations on Pendragon's
general writing style, too. An entertaining read.
Celestial Review
From Celestial Reviews 172 - April 12, 1997
"Excluded Middle" by Plainman
(phone orgy & first time). Princess needs a hot
cock, and lacking that she wants to have phone sex with her brother
and her
sister-in-law. In that context they decide to supply the missing
part to
Uther Pendragon's "April's First," which I reviewed
in CR 170.
It's an interesting set-up. If readers
have read "April's First" (if they
haven't, they should find the story and read it), they will know
Brian and
April; and if they've read other Pendragon stories, they'll know
something
about that author's overall style and the value system he tends
to infuse
into his stories. In addition, if readers have read other Plainman
stories,
they'll know about Princess, Dave, Judy and the others who are
mentioned in
the narrative. What the author (Plainman) does in the present
story is mix
information from all these sources together in order to blend
together at
least two (and sometimes more) very sexy stories.
I'll give this story two thumbs up!
Ratings for "Excluded Middle"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Evidently Celeste liked this story - it was #7 on her Top Stories of April 1997, and #47 on her Top 100 Stories of 1997.
Download
Return to the Stories Archive .
Send comments and questions to
apuleius@poboxes.com
april1st.txt