This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Lines
Coffee Clash
By
Valerie Meilong <meilong@excite.com>
"India! You mean you have lived in India? Surely you can only exist in India." he said.
"On the contrary," I replied. "You can live extremely well." I paused. "Servants are cheap," I added. "And it's not difficult to find pretty ones. Accommodating ones too!"
I noticed that he was suddenly thinking deeply.
Four years later I saw him again, well dressed, and with an indefinable air of opulence. He greeted me warmly and insisted that I came to him for the weekend. From his card, I saw he lived in Esher, an area with a highly desirable postcode. Burning with envy, I accepted.
It was a large house. Well-kept grounds too. We were soon chatting comfortably over a Tio Pepe.
Dinner was announced. The dining room décor was somewhat overpowering. Gilt. Gilt. Gilt. We sat at a small table gleaming with expensive silver. The food was magnificent. Delicious wines too. "Nothing from Pricesmart here," I thought.
The attendants were all female, all very pretty, all with fabulous figures, all Indian. "Plenty of those in England now," I thought. They wore a transparent top revealing a tiny black bra, bare midriff, and long opaque baggy trousers. They were supervised by a splendidly robed Majordomo, carrying a swagger-stick like a sergeant-major.
Half way through the meal my host suddenly clapped his hands. There was the rude noise of Velcro ripping and all the girls whipped off their trousers. Underneath they had long black stockings and garters. He chuckled at my goggling eyes.
"Sexy? No?"
"Sexy, yes," I replied.
When coffee came I ogled the minute panties of the gorgeous girl serving me. She blushed. Her hand slipped. I was soaked!
The Majordomo leaped into action. In rapid Hindi, he ordered her to bend over. His cane cracked horrendously on her almost bare bottom. She screwed up her face in agony, but remained silent.
"Stop!" I bellowed. I turned to my host. "You can't allow this!"
"I do not interfere with discipline," he said coldly. "Proceed!"
The cane fell again.
"No! You can't do this! It's monstrous!" I shouted
We argued for a long time, but eventually reached a compromise. The girl was dismissed, and awkwardly we said goodnight and retired to our beds.
I found her under the covers, sobbing bitterly, completely naked. The cane was lying on the dressing table. I examined her two stripes. "Lovely bottom," I thought.
She calmed down and I explained that I had to beat her; otherwise she would be flogged by the Majordomo. After lengthy argument she reluctantly agreed, but only if I would beat her next morning; lightly. "But I must leave tangible bruises," I insisted.
She was in my bed. She was naked. What could I do?
I did it, of course. I'm human.
I also beat her the next morning. Left stripes too, sufficient for her to avoid the Majordomo's flogging.
Oh, incidentally, she's no longer a servant. She's my wife. And each month, when she spills coffee, I beat her.
The End
© Copyright Valerie Meilong 14 August 2003
#192 "Coffee Clash" ::
Reviews
Lori <peachesicu(at)aol(dot)com>
What puzzles me about this story is the ending: «Oh, incidentally, she's no longer a servant. She's my wife. And each month, when she spills coffee, I beat her.»
Why in the heck does she spill coffee on him every month? So she can get beat? She didn't seem to be over enthusiastic about getting beaten in the story. Because of that I was a bit saddened that she was involved in something she didn't seem to like. If she did like it, is the ending a hint of that? I think a bit more plot on her would have cleared this up.
I did like the way the line was used at the beginning of the story. Still, the story seemed a bit choppy: from time, to feelings, to depth. It isn't always easy to be in the place of critic. For the SSC I find I'm explaining why I am not giving the highest rating, more than explaining what I liked about the story, but I'll try to even that out. I did also like the harem theme, I like harems. I liked the costume placement, but I sure was surprised to find garters under those flaring pants.
Jessie
Numerous technical errors interfere with the reading of the story. For instance, how does one know when a companion is suddenly thinking deeply? And: «They wore a transparent top revealing a tiny black bra» suggests that they were all crowded into the same article of clothing. «Insisted that I came to him» should be insisted that I come to him The interaction between the narrator and the serving girl is puzzling. He finds her sobbing in his bed, under the covers. Apparently, he removes the covers, as he reveals her bottom. On being bared by a strange man, she calms down. Why? Why would this calm a woman down? More likely, it would terrify her.
And why has this girl, who has submitted to running around half-naked, to being punished by her employer, and who now is naked in the stranger's bed, now engaging him in a lengthy argument? And why does this employee consent to treatment that she doesn't seem to want? This story is set in modern Britain; one assumes these women are not slaves. Finally, the incidental tag-on tells that the narrator and the servant are now married. Again, the obvious question is: Why? There was nothing in the story to lead us to this point. A woman is brutalized by a strange man and then marries him, and there is no explanation as to why she would do this.
Warm Hand Jack
High marks for originality, for overall good writing and dialogue, and for excellent use of the first line. And for the title.
The acquaintances appeared to trundle off to bed during coffee, which was a bit awkward. I had more trouble, though, with what went on in the bedroom. I thought at first that he caned her that night, as well as also in the morning; but no, I guess «I did it, of course.» meant sex. And while the ending is satisfying, her apparent consent to that relationship seems out of character with her bitter sobbing, arguing, reluctance, and asking for lightly. Well, maybe she's more compliant than willing, which seemed to be the nature of the favored servants.
Yes, I like this well-written story; although there's a bit too much that's not clear. To this (admittedly getting-jaded) reader, anyway.