This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Child
Cousin Val
By
Plierla Fesserla <PlierlaFesserla@hotmail.com>
"Mummy says you haven't got a front-bottom, you've got a willey."
"It's a tinkle."
"Can I see your tinkle?"
"No."
"I'll show you my front-bottom."
"What about Auntie Grace? She might come up."
"She'll be ages on the phone."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"It comes out there? Can I see? If you let me watch your tinkle do wee-wee, I'll let you watch me."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you two all right?" Auntie Grace shouts up the stairs.
"Yes mom."
"Don't keep flushing the toilet honey. It's not a toy. Go play in your room."
"OK mum."
"Is she cross? Will she come up?"
"No. She's still on the phone."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"When Auntie Grace is cross, does she spank you?"
"Yes. Does Auntie Lizzy spank you?"
"Sometimes mum says she'll spank me, but she never has."
"Naughty boy. Get over my lap, I'll spank you."
"No."
"Go on. You can spank me."
"No."
"I'll tell mummy you showed me your tinkle. Then she'll spank you."
"She'll spank you too."
"So."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Take your trousers and pants down."
"Over my lap, naughty boy."
"Don't spank hard."
"You're a naughty boy," slap slap slap "a very," slap "naughty," slap "boy." slap [all very gentle] "If I ever catch you showing your tinkle again, I'll spank you a lot harder."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Let me get across your lap."
"Now spank me."
"But you've got your knickers on. I had my pants down."
"Well lift up my skirt and take my knickers off, silly boy." slap slap slap slap slap slap "You've got to tell me off when you spank. Do it again."
"You're a naughty girl," slap slap slap "a very," slap "naughty," slap "girl." slap
"My turn again. You spanked me twice. Take your trousers and pants down."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"You are a very naughty boy," slap slap slap "a very," slap "naughty," slap "boy," slap "and if I catch you letting girls watch you do a wee-wee, this is what you'll get." SMACK SMACK SMACK "Naughty boy." SMACK SMACK SMACK [quite hard]
"Stop. It hurts."
"You're a naughty boy," SMACK SMACK SMACK "naughty boys get their bottoms spanked." SMACK SMACK SMACK [even harder]
I wriggled off her lap. "My turn to spank you hard."
"Oh no." She runs downstairs to Auntie Grace and sprawls on the sofa.
When Auntie Grace hangs up the phone she says, "Valerie. You've got no knickers on. Did you have an accident?"
"No mummy. Timmy took them off to spank me."
"Timothy. Did you?"
"Valerie said I could spank her."
"I know your game young lady. I'll deal with you after Lizzy arrives and takes Timmy home. Then we'll see just how much you like having your bottom spanked."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
All that happened over twenty five years ago. The following month, Valerie and Auntie Grace moved to Australia. We've corresponded but not met since; she often mentions our spanking games as five-year-olds.
She's visiting England soon. Dropped the odd hint too! She's owed a good hard spanking.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Reader: Do you think Timothy will get his revenge? Isn't it more likely that Valerie will outmanoeuvre him yet again?
The End
© Copyright Plierla Fesserla, 03 August 2003
Reviews
Huh Chuh <huhchuh(at)yahoo(dot)com>
Very nice job! I love how she out maneuvers him with such grace and beauty. Lovely story!
I venture that he'll get a nice hot botty upon her return to England.
Jessie
The portrayal of two curious children is well handled; the language is right and their innocent exploration is age-appropriate.
The one problem I had with the story was in Valerie's mother's response to the children's play. «"I know your game young lady...."» seems an inappropriate thing to say to a five year old child in these circumstances. And her intention to spank her daughter for her curiosity makes me cringe.
Warm Hand Jack
As a child-child story, this doesn't risk the edgy undertone that's almost unavoidable in an adult-child scene (even when the child likes it). This is refreshing, and allows the lightness and seriousness to blend without clashing. It's very well told (almost entirely in most effective and age-appropriate dialogue), and is easy to visualize. Val's mother's obliviousness to what's really going on is amusing: «"Don't keep flushing the toilet honey. It's not a toy. Go play in your room."» Of course: they're only five! The conclusion, promising a grown-up sequel, is excellent.
A couple of technical things slightly mar the smoothness of the reading. Straight dialogue (without "I said / she said" identification) depends on careful spacing and punctuation for clarity: «"Take your trousers and pants down." / "Over my lap, naughty boy."» «"Let me get across your lap." / "Now spank me."» – Both are intelligently spaced, to allow time for the intended actions to take place; but in each case the first closing quote mark should be omitted, to clarify that the second sentence is by the same speaker. And «I wriggled off her lap.» makes an inadvertent tense change. These are not major problems, just things the writer may wish to consider next time.
I enjoyed this tale very much, and am sure that these two will have many good times when they meet as adults.