This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Mini-saga
Online Lonely
By
Pam <pamimac@aol.companties>
Remove my panties before responding
Her buddies list stares at her, mocking her. Friends online? No friends there. Just men who love their wives, their girlfriends, or can't communicate. OK to look at tits or ass (give me a fix honey) but not ok to love the person behind there. Hi, I wanna spank your ass.
The End
© Copyright Pam, 15 June 2003
Reviews
Jessie
This piece manages to evoke a lot of emotion. It doesn't work despite the word limit, but uses the limit; the author really takes advantage of the mini-saga form. Very nicely done.
RCG <rcg1574(at)yahoo(dot)com>
You touch concisely and personally on the dilemma of online friends or relationships. Can you really know and feel a person through a keyboard. Digitally detached from reality we may become visceral; for better or worse is unknown to the person on the other end of the wire.
A good use of fifty-one words to express sentiment of online lonely.
Patricia <patricia(at)cedar(dot)net>
This one took me a long time to understand what you wanted to convey. And in truth, I had to have some help. Trying to convey a whole array of feelings in fifty words or less is not easy.
In my opinion, you choose a category that would not allow you the opportunity to convey your thoughts and feelings fully. I think you may have a very interesting story, if you had picked a category that allowed more than fifty words. Every time I read this, I keep expecting to see more story to follow. This is a good opening paragraph, but it is not, in my opinion a complete story in and of itself.