This short story is an entry in the 2003 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Verse
Assville High School Rules
By
Y Lee Coyote <YLeeCoyote@juno.com>
|
Tardy students yawn Homework forgotten Test answers copied Run in the hallway Vulgar words voiced |
The End
© Copyright A.I.L., May 26, 2003
Reviews
Kent <kentls01(at)pacifier(dot)com>
I've always been impressed by haiku. I'm no great shakes as a poet, but it's always seemed to me that haiku, with its rigid structure, must be one of the more difficult styles to write.
To see not just one haiku, but five, all so elegantly crafted, is indeed quite an accomplishment.
That all five are on topic (admittedly, some more than others) is quite an accomplishment by the author.
Pablo <pablo.stubbs(at)newsguy(dot)com>
There's a sense of wanting it both ways here, and ending up with neither. The virtue -- and the challenge -- of haiku is in its extreme brevity. Constructing a larger piece from haiku verses results in a hybrid that's not entirely satisfying -- the constraint isn't taken seriously.
Some nice things, though. The contrast between the mundane daily grind and images of nature and myth works nicely. A nicely dream-like feel pervades.
Try stretching out a little next time. If haiku is what you want, then stick to the haiku constraints. Otherwise, loosen up a bit, and give the words a bit more freedom and space to explore the ideas more fully.
Lori <peachesicu(at)aol(dot)com>
I really enjoyed the symbolism in this piece, if gave me alot to picture, in very few words. It also did very neat stimulating thing to places other then my mind. Which is a very good thing for a short story to do!