The Assville population
To some folks' consternation,
Keeps changing. It's a cause of some dismay.
Though some may wander into town and stay
A while
The roster file
Shows lots who drift away.

For those who are old-timerish
And possibly Alzheimerish,
It's often hard remembering the phantoms from the past.
And so it was that two old farts
Tried one fine day by fits and starts
To reconstruct the fates of those who somehow didn't last.

Though Barrister and Musicman are back,
They spoke of others, of whom they'd lost track.

I say, whatever happened to Vixen?
Did she get what's-her-name to erase
The eighteen-minute scene that she taped with Dick Nixon
When she brought all her toys to his place?

Do you recall, perchance, that girl Zazie from France,
Who for her fifteen minutes of fame
With her boyfriend got onto the metro one day,
Bent over the seat for a spendid fessee,
And shocked all the tourists at Musee D'Orsay
I tell you this town's not the same.

And that chap of the Catholic persuasion,
Who used spanking for dealing with sin,
Did he marry that Caramelized nun, the Malaysian
Who went by the handle SianYin?

Have you heard tell a thing about Darla and Ming
Or Pookie  I think that's her name?
Someone told me they're into these multiple scenes
Where they cut willow switches and pull down their jeans
For Alex Martelli and Boston Baked Beans
I tell you this town's not the same.

Has Hal gone off somwhere pouting--
DisSpirited, angry, or worse,
Because of that nasty old midsummer outing
That kept him from posting his verse.

And that fellow I like, who wrote Maddy and Mike
But who some found nostalgic and tame.
Has he run off with Vashti and Marstil somewhere?
Or Magdala, Lord Redbun, and Livia Clair?
Why, even Miss Lily's vanished into thin air.
I tell you this town's not the same.