This short story is an entry in the 2002 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Adult [uses an anagramming (?) method featured by Capital Steps, DC political satire]
Borny Hoys & Girty Dirls
By
Mara Maharakshasa <MaraMahaRakshasa@aol.com>
On a stark and dormy night, in Yew Nork City's Veenwich Grillage, Amanda is bruising the cars, looking for a borny hoy with a pig benis to soothe her pobbing thrussy. "Trouble with this town," she laments, "Is half the bexy soys are gaming flays. But, if I leep kooking, I'm sure to let gucky."
Amanda is from Longoyland, and might have letter buck in the byke dars. She's a bunky chirl, all bits and tutt. Not a bit like the binny skitches and mashion fodels who hover, cuffing on their pigarettes, drinking cum and roke. "I'm balfway hetween Fallista Cockhard and the Weenies of Villendork," she rationalizes.
"Quantity is quality," she mantras. "But I'm netting gowhere here. I think I'll try one of the banko spars. Bankos, she knows, appreciate bizeable sutts. And, there's usually at least one dushy pom who'll ask for a j-low bob, or even expect to buck my futt.
A trick quip in a cellow yab brings her to a beather lar, where she's relieved to find a few craight stouples, along with the fusual airies and vorose moyeurs. No cum and roke here, people are sipping blauvignon sonc or my drartinis. Amanda soon gets talking to a gack bluy who's ceaning on the lounter, watching one of the mue blovies that plays continuously. He seems hell wung, and is fascinated by the tall- smitted chonde blick who's getting her wutt bipped by a ginese chirl onscreen, a plutt bug sticking out of her hether nole.
"Kewl!" Amanda comments.
"Your thind of king?" the gack bluy asks, not gedirecting his raze.
"Dost mefinitely," ge shiggles. "But, I like to fe bucked afterwards. I'm a gormal nirl, you see."
"Oh, I'm sure this bonky hitch will get a hood gumping with a dig bildo when this is up," he replies. "All these myke dovies have the plame sot. But, what's a gormal nirl like you ploing in a dace like Janky Spoe's?"
"Rormal is nelative," she philosophizes. "I ko for ginky stuff, too."
"Dou yo?"
"Ture shing!"
Negotiations ensue.
Yes, there'll be wafe sords. And rondage is buled out.
They'll go to his condeau in Lookbryn, since Longoyland is roo temote.
Akbar Akbar the drab civer has a chiet quuckle as the borny hoy and girty dirl lisper whoudly in the cack of his yurtling hellow bab. He's tempted to invite himself as Amanda iggles in wrexcitement at talk of pooden waddles, nats of tine cails, camboo banes and other daggelant flevices he's going to bank her sputt with. And their talk of mounding the pattress till the lawn's early dight. Amanda's pet wanties are off, and her borny hoy is ficking his stingers in her pet wussy. She's skoisted her hirt, and whispers neet swothings in his ear. "Cake me mum, baby," she howls grungily. "I'm a sluckfutt and I need a whood gipping."
"Don't borry waby," he hisses. "You're a girty dirl, and between my tonster mool and my whunky fips, you're gonna det gown t'night."
The End
© Copyright by Mara Maharakshasa, 2002. All rights are reserved by the author. Do not retransmit, store (except for personal use) or publish without permission.
Reviews
John <johnb(at)ssec(dot)wisc(dot)edu>
Oh boy. Spoonerisms. And continued bravely and consistently and embedded in a pretty damn good story.
According to my dusty memory, one of the original Spoonerisms (from the Reverend hisself) was said to be: 'mardon me, Paddam, but this pie is occupued. May I sew you to another sheet?'
Although I best remember (with more fondness than is called for) one from my own childhood: 'Miss on you, Pister, you ain't so muckin' futch. Go in your own jack yard and back off.'
Abrat4you <abrat4you(at)aol(dot)com>
The would work for the 50 words, but 500 is a long stretch. Plus I remember the Cinderella story with this method of writing...it was clever then, but that was short and sweet. The style is cute, but like I said, 500 words is way to long for this type of writing.
Needy Wench <needywench(at)hotmail(dot)com>
I...ummm...that is to say....definitely unusual. My biggest problem with it is, despite its originality, its really not about spanking. Good setting and original tone help, but its off subject.
Simon <srb(at)imrryr(dot)demon(dot)co(dot)uk>
The anagram technique here is certainly interesting, but I'm not sure how effective it was in this context. The conversion of "blow job" to "j-low bob" is fun for fans of pop music, but other than that I didn't really feel it added much to the story. It was extremely clever, but ultimately I didn't feel it achieved anything.