This short story is an entry in the 2001 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: Firsts (incest)
Secrets
By
I don't know why I'm writing this.
Some secrets need to be kept. Others don't. But how do you know which from which?
My daddy and I have a secret. I can't tell anyone. Not my friend Rachel. Not my teacher Miss Curtain. Certainly not my mother.
Thinking of my mother makes my stomach hurt. If she were nicer everything would be different. It's our secret but it's her fault.
I mean, she makes him spank me. Every little thing I do, she yanks me away from my friends and into my room. I used to beg her to punish me herself, not to tell Daddy. I stopped begging because it never mattered. She watches while I take off my skirt or jeans and waits until I'm sitting on the edge of my bed in just my panties, then leaves.
Sometimes I have to sit all day.
When Daddy comes home he comes to my room he carries the paddle or his belt. He asks what I have to say but I never talk. He used to just make me stand and take off my panties, but last year I started wetting myself when he touched me.
I didn't do it on purpose, but Daddy thought I did. So now we go into the bathroom and he takes them off there. I have to sit on the toilet with him until I go. When I think about it I'm ashamed, but really I'm glad. Because when I wet the floor my mom found out.
I don't get my panties back so while we walk back I'm bare. Being bent over the bed or pulled across his lap is almost a relief.
Almost. But not quite. Because spankings hurt. The paddle stings and so does the belt and even though I try to stay quiet and bite the sides of my mouth until I taste salt and blood, I end up crying out, begging him to stop. I know my mother can hear me and my shame. That brings tears.
Daddy doesn't like tears and holds me. He says he hates to see his princess cry, hates punishing me. He rubs the sore places to make them better. And the places that aren't sore. He rubs there too. And it feels good and I stop crying.
I don't want him to stop. When he rubs I'm brave for him, not crying when he spanks me. He's happy and my mom's mad because I'm so brave.
But then I have to rub him. I mean, it's his turn and so I touch him there, so he feels powerful too. I don't like that, but I do it and pretend to like it too. My mother can't know I can do it and I won't ever tell her.
After he puts me in bed, I touch myself and remember the spanking and pretend I was brave.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Some secrets no one understands.
The End
© Copyright Summer, 2001
Reviews
Frank <sswitcher(at)yahoo(dot)com>
Trying to treat this as just another story, it is certainly charged with a powerful eroticism whose impact is heightened by the taboos that it breaches. I particularly liked the humiliation of having to sit on the toilet in front of Daddy. And also the fact that, when touched by Daddy, the girl «does not want him to stop».
But the author has explained in some detail in other posts about her eroticization of her R/L abuse. Therefore one cannot entirely treat this piece as just another story. One feels in addition a deep sense of priviledge that the author has chosen to trust us with what may very well be a deeply personal glimpse into her innermost sexuality. And if the piece was indeed inspired by R/L abuse, one has to feel at least a twinge of guilt at being able to derive enjoyment from it.
Finally, I liked the use of the first lines category - neatly avoiding any possible controversy associated with placing overly sexual material in the "child" category!
Pablo <Pablo(dot)Stubbs(at)newsguy(dot)com>
There's so much here that's difficult and dark, but totally true. And sometimes it takes the voice of a child to see things this clearly - the confusion and ambivalence of punishment and abuse. Knowing something's abusive but that it can also feel good. And how a small child can see how fucked up the grown ups are, but do nothing about it. The simple voice here gets all that, and more.