This short story is an entry in the 2001 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.  Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.  The author would appreciate your comments

Category:  Adult, first and last line
 

Mother Told Me There Would Be Knights Like This

By

Mule <mule@thebarnyard.net>

He was a dark and stormy knight. "Really, Sir Spankalot, the Crusades are over. Be at peace and ease thy burden in my bosom!" I begged.

"Begone with thee, wench!" he snorted back. "Before I take hand against thee and smite thy arse."

"Oh thou and whose legends?" I thought, but a woman knows her place here in the enlightened 13th century. Instead I said, "Mayhaps milord wouldst like some grog to ease his tense muscles?"

"Ah, that would be a fitting thing," he bellowed.

"And mayhaps milord would like his chambermaid to rub said same tense muscles."

"Aye, indeed!"

"Then takest off thy armor!" What a girl has to do to get a guy out of his pants! With the aid of block and tackle, this task was accomplished leaving him in a scratchy woolen body suit.

I started my massage, "Oh sire, this wool doth scratch my delicate hands. Surely both of us wouldst enjoy the feeling of flesh upon flesh."

Swilling down a large drought of grog, he replied, "And what kind of game art thou willing to play?"

"Simply this, lord. I rub thee on thy most tenderest of parts. Should thou comest before yon cock crows, I spank thee. Shouldst thou resist, thee spanks me."

His bellowing laughter shook the beams and thundered through the castle. "'Tis a deal. It shall be done."

I grabbed hold of his penis. I knew I needed some psychological help as well. "Oh, what stately manifestation of manhood thou hast, milord!" I exclaimed. It was a lie, but a girl does what a girl has to do. I proceeded to stroke.

I could feel his organ stiffening in my hand. He was nearly there .. and then the damned rooster got horny, popped off a hen and had to tell the whole courtyard about it.

"Thou losest." my knight said.

"Shalt we make it a wee more sporting?" I asked. "Double or nothing?"

"Aye, let it all lay on the next game," he slurred in his drunken stupor.

This time I had more luck. (Slipping the rooster some grog helped). I had his organ squirting like a fountain in a nonce.

"Hmm," he mused, "it seemeth that I owe thee a spanking, and thou owes me one in like fashion. How doth we proceed?"

"Like, duh," I thought. "Why doth we not exchange the privilege?" I suggested.

"Aye. That is indeed acceptable.

I spanked hard. He spanked harder. No, we didn't kill each other, but that's a whole different story.

The End

© Copyright Summer, 2001

Reviews

Needy Wench  <needywench(at)hotmail(dot)com>
I lauged out loud at the last line of this one.  I should have been able to predict it, but I didn't.  And I especially liked the slipping between the dialect and the current day, "a girl does what she has to".  Good stuff!

Jodi  <ladiejj(at)webtv(dot)net>
The author did a nice job revolving a whole story around a given first line. The language does a lot to set the time and place as well as the tone of the story. There are some visual descriptions. This is a historical type story but also very humorous. It also has a great title.