This short story is an entry in the 2001 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: 'Beginning' Line, or Adult
Julie to the Rescue
By
Valerie Meilong <VMeilong1@excite.com>
"It was a dark and stormy night," I typed. Yeah, I know, "and the Captain said to the Mate, tell us a tale…"
"Oh, come on," I said to myself. "Nothing better to write than that?" I groaned. I had the worst case of writer's block I'd ever experienced. Would nothing rid me of this un-turbulent brain? Inspiration, where art thou?
I know, look up my collection of Alex Birch stories. Crib one of his ideas? Why not?
I ruffled through my files, and read them one by one. Plebeiantown.
Dullsville. Christ! Alex Birch stories, dull! My God, I was in a bad way. What to do? Well, I did what I always do when I get this way. I discussed it with Jim Beam. Now don't get me wrong. I am not a lush, well not more than the next man, but Jim is an ever present help in trouble.
I woke up with a headache. Alka Seltzer? Not bloody likely. They always make me vomit.
God! What could I do?
Julie came around. "Hi!" she said brightly. "Go away," I moaned. "Oh, nice welcome, pig," she said. "Go away," I said again. "I am about to go to the lake to kill myself. I will drown and no one shall save me."
"I know the difference between shall and will, and so do you, so stop quoting grammar illustrations," she said coldly. "What's the matter with you?"
"I am idea-less. I am a dead parrot. My brain has quit this mortal coil, gone to its maker. It has ceased to be."
"OK, my Norwegian Blue, why not write about bloomers, or bikinis. Perhaps about a martinet, or maybe something draconian, sadistic or masochistic?" "Enough," I shrieked. "I recognise an eponym when I hear one."
She smiled. "I know what will snap you out of this depression. Sit on that couch!"
"What for?"
"Do as I say, and do it NOW!"
I got up from my computer and sat on the couch as ordered. She moved across to me and positioned herself over my lap. I stared at the black material of her skirt tightly stretched over her neat little bottom.
"Well, go on then, dork. Pull up my skirt."
I sighed, and did what I was told.
"God! I'll get cross with you soon. Get my panties down, you bloody soft prong."
I pulled them down as demanded. I felt better already.
"Oh, for Christ sake, spank me, you pillock. My ass is getting cold."
I smiled and obliged. "You can always count on Julie, I thought.
We spent the afternoon in bed, and at six o'clock I got up and went to my computer. My fingers flew over the keys. By eight o'clock, I had a new story finished. I shut down with a sigh of relief, and the bed was hardly used again. (Hardly used. Geddit?)
The next morning I got up and looked at what I had written.
It was absolute rubbish.
The End
© Copyright Summer, 2001
This document may contain explicit material of an ADULT nature. ***READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!*** This story is for entertainment purposes only, and it does not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the author. All characters are fictional and any resemblance to any real person alive or dead is purely coincidental. The Copyright of this story is held by ESP Publishing Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Free distribution via an electronic medium such as the internet is permitted as long as the text is not modified, and the name of the author and this copyright notice is clearly included. Any other form of publication is expressly forbidden unless authorised in writing by ESP Publishing Ltd.
Reviews
Simon <srb(at)imrryr(dot)demon(dot)co(dot)uk>
This story had an unusual style, an almost Joyce-ian stream of consciousness approach, which although initially strange grew on me as I re-read the story. I liked the various throwaway references, especially the "un-turbulent brain" which definitely made me smile, as did the image of the spankee ordering the other person to give them a spanking. The fact that all this work to clear writer's block eventually produces a story which is worthless was a very effective and amusing twist. One of the most original stories I've read in a while, and one which I suspect people will either love or hate.
Mija <mijita(at)newsguy(dot)com>
This story is amusing in its being a meta tale about not being able to write a story. Valerie's Monty Python references are always good for a giggle.