This short story is an entry in the 2001 Soc.Sexuality.Spanking Summer Short Story Contest and is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission. Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice. The author would appreciate your comments
Category: First Line
He Was a Dark and Stormy Knight
By
Valerie Meilong <VMeilong1@excite.com>
He was a dark and stormy knight, and he'd been riding all day. At last he came to the castle. "Shit," he thought. "The drawbridge is up." He reined himself up on his trusty steed and bellowed, "What-ho, within." A small head appeared to the top of the ramparts.
"What-ho, without."
"What-ho, within," he bellowed, "I would have parlance with the king." Back came the reply, "The King has shot himself."
"What again?"
"Stupid nerd! I said SHOT himself. Anyway, that was a joke. Hehehe. You can come in. But wipe your hoofs."
The King looked at him. "Who are you?"
"I am a dark and stormy knight."
"Stormy? Stormy? What's stormy mean?
"It's Welsh, but you English types can't say it properly. Its stwrmy. It means He Who Has A Hard Hand."
"Oh. Welsh, eh? Gwlad to meet you, boyo. My brother-in-law's Welsh, the biggest Welsher I've ever met. So, what'dya want?"
"I want to marry your daughter."
"Got a white sash?"
"Nope."
"Well get one from the white dragon. No white sash, no daughter. That's the law."
So the dark knight sought out the white dragon.. She was a gorgeous bit of crackling, but famous for her sharp tongue. "So you wanna sash, eh? You'll have to smack my bottom first."
"Okay," said the knight, and he took down her panties and spanked her for two hours.
"Bloody marvellous," said the White Dragon delightedly. "You're a hard-handed stwrmy bastard all right. Here's the sash."
"Ah, said the king when the knight returned to the castle. "But you need a brown cloak. See the Brown Dragon.."
The Brown Dragon was a beautiful dusky maiden.. "I want a brown cloak," said the knight.
"Okay. Pants down, and bend over. I only give cloaks to those whom I have paddled."
He took his paddling like a man, screaming and begging for mercy. When it was over, and after only one hour's corner time, he got his brown cloak,
"Ah," said the king when the knight got back to the castle. "Not bad. But you need a gold ring. No ring, no daughter. Find the Yellow Dragon."
"Where's her cave?" said the knight.
"On the street of a thousand assholes, 'Neath the sign of the swinging tit, nerd.," said the king
The knight found the cave. There stood a slant-eyed Chinese maiden.
"Don't tell me! Your name is Hu Flung Shit".
"Ha bloody ha!" she snarled. "Gold ring? Only if you whip me first, and then let me whip you afterwards."
All day long they whipped each other until both bottoms were red as the sunset.
"Ah," said the king when the knight got back to the castle. "The sash, the cloak, the ring, eh? Okay, go see the Princess."
The knight climbed the stairs to the Princess's bower in the tower. "I've the sash, the cloak, and the ring,. I want to marry you," he said on bended knee.
She looked at him coolly, and said, "Sod off, you silly berk."
The End
© Copyright Summer, 2001
This document may contain explicit material of an ADULT nature. ***READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!*** This story is for entertainment purposes only, and it does not necessarily represent the viewpoint of the author. All characters are fictional and any resemblance to any real person alive or dead is purely coincidental. The Copyright of this story is held by ESP Publishing Ltd., Beijing, China. All Rights Reserved. Free distribution via an electronic medium such as the Internet is permitted as long as the text is not modified, and the name of the author and this copyright notice is clearly included. Any other form of publication is expressly forbidden unless authorized in writing by ESP Publishing Ltd.
Reviews
Alex Birch <alexbirch(at)blueyonder(dot)co(dot)uk>
What can you say about this? Valerie has leapt among us with a veritable plethora of stories for the competition, many of which are wonderful, well written and very funny. I feel that in this one she has thrown in a lot of stuff worthy of Cleese and Palin (and she had the cheek to suggest that I....) anyway plus a few references to the immortal 'Street'. I liked the Welsh bits but I thought all in all this was rather a bizarre mish mash which was funny because Valerie is talented but didnt hang together so well as a story as many of her others. I think this is entry no 48 and I wonder if its all too easy sometimes. By her standards I found this one a bit average..but thats only because at her best this writer is excellent.
Frank <sswitcher(at)yahoo(dot)com>
Another side-splittingly hilarious tale, this one is full of Pythonesque ribaldry, and still finds room for not only a hot spanking but also a paddling and a mutual whipping! The story begs for a continuation, though. It strikes me that a knight brave and strong enough to succesfully deal with three spankophile dragons is not likely to be intimitated by a frosty king's daughter who has just used some extremely rude and unladylike words.