Tiny
Katy Needs Her Spermies
by Sterling
Chapter 1 of 4
I
strolled nonchalantly past the bench, checking out my contact with the
most furtive of glances. She appeared to be just what she had said she
was, a woman in her early 30s.
I kept walking, looking around
for people who might be undercover cops. If they were there, they'd
undoubtedly be hidden with professional care and I'd never detect them,
but it didn't stop me from looking. A hundred yards past the bench, I
pretended to read the inscription under the statue of a Civil War hero,
then returned, heart pounding. It was now or never. I slowed and
approached the woman.
"Meredith?"
"Yes, that's me. You must be Jason?"
"Right."
She seemed ill at ease -- and that comforted me.
It
started in JudyGarland, one of the online forums about young girls. A
pedophile forum, where the participants discussed which celebrity girls
we found attractive, what we liked about them, and how they made us
feel. A few people chimed in with crude comments about just what
physical acts they would like to perform, but the moderators at
JudyGarland kept a pretty tight lid on things. We were talking about
girl love, and the mods kept it positive. No rants about how horrible
society was that we weren't allowed to have sex with girls. No suicidal
despair. No hint of real porn. We just shared our attractions in a way
we never could off the web. None of us was "out" in the real world.
Admitting attraction to 6-year-old girls would be social suicide.
"Fred"
contacted me through a private message, saying he felt like our tastes
were very similar. He sent me links to a few pictures of girls in
family photo albums online -- not celebrities. I thanked him and told
him which I found the hottest, though they were all attractive to me.
Then Fred announced in a long private message that "he" was really a
woman named Meredith, and she had something very unusual she hoped to
discuss in person. She lived in the New York area, and had selected me
in part because I had mentioned I lived in the area as well. I tried to
pry more information out of her by email, but she was cagey, just
saying that she thought I would find it very interesting. No, she was
not underage, and she was not proposing any sort of sexual encounter.
She just wanted to tell me about something.
I mentioned it to a
couple of my online contacts, and they all urged caution, assuming it
was some sort of scam. It might not be a police operation, but she
could be a front for vigilantes. I couldn't rule it out, but I'd never
heard of their suggesting meeting a grown woman just to talk. And there
were other boards where men made crude comments; why would they target
someone like me from the relatively sweet and innocent JudyGarland? I
had made clear in occasional posts how sad I was that I would never be
able to have a sexual relationship with a girl -- though in the end I
didn't really even want to, knowing it would be bad for the girl.
My
contacts asked what good could possibly come of it. I countered that
she could be a grown woman with a fetish for gentle celibate
pedophiles, hoping to engage in a relationship where she pretended to
be a little girl -- though I had to admit it was unlikely. Or perhaps
she wanted to sell me on a pyramid scheme or get me to accept Christ as
my personal savior.
In any event, my curiosity won out, and here I was, standing in front
of a young woman seated on a park bench.
She
said I was going to find this incredibly bizarre, and she hoped I'd at
least hear her full story. She pulled a laptop out of her bag and
motioned me to sit beside her.
"I'm going to show you some video of my daughter. She's 5 years old."
"Whoa. Why do you want to do that?"
She laid her hand on mine gently. "I told you... Please, hear me out."
I
sighed but didn't bolt, so she brought up the video. And there was a
gorgeous little girl: blond, blue eyes, smiling, dancing in the living
room.
"Wait, that's no 5-year-old."
"Oh, right. This is from when she was younger. She's about 3 here. But
I have some from more recently, too."
The
girl certainly was a charmer. I felt a certain warmth between my legs,
but it wasn't going to become an embarrassing erection. A clip from
when she was 4 showed her playing at the beach -- but I was relieved to
see she was wearing a one-piece and her crotch wasn't showing. A later
clip showed her playing dress-up with a friend, laughing so hard they
fell over.
"OK, that's our sweet Katy. But there's a problem."
When she tapped the screen, there was a picture of a 5-year-old Katy
crying. The next showed Katy screaming and pummeling the legs of a
woman who was standing by her, shown only from the waist down but
speaking in a soothing voice. The next shot was of the girl lying on
the floor clutching her stomach, moaning and writhing. These pictures
were painful to watch. Most kids would have good days and bad days, so
why did she videotape the bad days?
"She's got a problem. She
got an attack where she said something really hurt, but it got better.
But then it happened again and she got frantic, and we took her to the
pediatrician. But a battery of tests found nothing. The attacks
continued, and during the worst ones she had vomiting and diarrhea. The
pediatrician referred us to a specialist."
Meredith paused and
sighed. "She explained she had to look at Katy's private parts, even
though she hadn't complained of any problems there. I was there when
she examined her. It turned out she's more developed than normal for a
girl her age down there, and then the specialist did some more tests.
When the results were in, she brought me in to explain this new
syndrome that some young girls are getting. All they call it for now is
Sick Little Girl Syndrome, or S.L.G.S., pronounced 'slugs'. They don't
know too much about it, but they do know that it gets worse. The
painful attacks get more frequent. A few of the first girls who showed
up with the syndrome can't go to school any more because they feel so
bad, and when an attack hits they can be very disruptive..."
I
still wasn't sure where this was going, but I already felt a connection
with poor little Katy -- it's a blessing and a curse how easily we
pedophiles feel those connections. The mention of Katy's privates made
me nervous -- and a little excited.
"There's no real treatment.
Painkillers help some, and anti-anxiety meds when she has an attack.
Naturally, I scoured the web to find out everything I could about this.
A month ago I found this article." She brought up a scientific paper
with a big fat abstract and pages of dense text, filled with tables and
graphs. "The gist of it is, they think they have an animal model of it.
In rats." She brought up another dense article. "And then there's this
one. It turns out that the female pups also have the more developed
genitalia, and if they give them hormones that make them act like
they're in heat, and put the right scent on their little behinds, males
will mate with them. And the thing is -- it reduces their symptoms."
My head suddenly started spinning. "No, sorry, no way!" I sat up
straight, ready to flee.
She
started talking quickly. "You saw how much she's suffering, right?
Can't you at least keep listening? Won't you do that much for her? It
might be fatal, you know. Dr. Black always looks very troubled when she
talks about those cases that are most advanced... and I'm not one to
just sit around and wait for the doctors..."
I hesitated. It might be life or death? Meredith knew how to keep a
pedophile's attention. I relaxed again.
"Well,
of course this is horrible. I contacted the specialist and she said it
was just a preliminary animal study, and the hope was eventually to
isolate the relevant chemicals so they could make a drug. But my Katy
is suffering so much! It took me a while to get over the revulsion of
doing anything with Katy's privates. But I got a neighbor to, um, give
me a semen sample and I tried squirting it up into Katy's, um, vagina,
but there was no effect. The scientists had tried that too with the
rats, and it didn't help them. The male rat had to mate with her. But
it was worth a try. Do you, um, find her attractive?"
"Oh, this is ridiculous. Don't ask me that! But, um, yes -- in theory."
"Oh, yeah, I can see it would be weird. This is all so weird."
"By the way, what does your husband think of this idea?"
"Oh, he disappeared six months ago."
"Sorry to hear that."
"It's got its pluses and minuses. But no, I wouldn't dream of talking
about it with him if he did show up."
"Figures. Look, I've got to go."
"Just a bit more, please? In this next video, I'm breaking the law, OK?
But watch."
I hoped it wasn't child porn -- or most of me did. I sighed but did not
leave.
The video showed Meredith talking to Katy.
"This thing in your tummy is really awful, right?"
Katy looked at her like she was crazy.
"So would you be willing to try weird things to make it so you'd never
have an attack again?"
"Anything!" said Katy. "I'd do anything!" Once again, it stung me.
"OK,"
said the Meredith in the video with a deep breath. "Watch this." I was
watching a video of Katy and Meredith watching a video. It began
showing a man and a woman kissing.
"Yuck," said Katy.
"You said you'd do anything, right? Keep an open mind."
The
next cut of the video showed a grown man's penis that was notably
small, much as it might be when emerging from a cold shower. Katy
giggled. He was on his back, though the video didn't show his face. He
stroked his finger around the tip a couple times. The camera zoomed in
and recorded the rapid swelling of the organ, first to normal flaccid
condition, then filling rapidly and finally hardening. Katy squirmed,
looking away at times but never for long. The video within the video
progressed to a full, twitching erection and then froze.
"That's
what happens to grown men's penises sometimes. Now, Katy, this next
part might be hard to watch." Meredith took her hand. "This is
something men and women do when they're married."
The video
showed a woman's lower half, lying on a bed. The woman lifted her butt,
pulled down her panties, and spread her thin legs. Her pussy lips were
very smooth, freshly shaved if not waxed. A man's lower parts came into
the picture as he slid up into mounting position. The woman spread her
lips as the man's hand guided his penis to her opening. Katy's hand
covered her mouth as she watched. The video showed his glans in almost
slow motion nestling into her soft vestibule, and then ever so slowly
starting to glide inward. The video had the sound on, since you could
hear the soft rustling sounds as the bodies moved together, but there
were no words or vocalizations from either of the actors. The video
froze with an inch or two of the penis buried in the vagina.
"Blech!" said Katy. "So when are you going to tell me what you want me
to do?"
"Well," said Meredith, looking away. "Uhhhhh..."
Suddenly Katy's eyes got big as saucers as the light dawned. "You want
me to do that?"
"Well,
only if you want to. I'd never even ask you to think about that
ordinarily! But there's a chance that it could make your attacks stop."
Katy looked like she had just eaten a very sour pickle. "It's so weird!
Isn't it naughty?"
"Yes,
absolutely! You'd never let a man get anywhere near you like that
ordinarily. But when you're really sick we sometimes do strange things.
Remember when Dr. Black had to look up there and poked her finger
inside?"
"Yeah..."
"That was a little weird, but just to make you feel better. This would
be the same. And we'd make sure it didn't hurt you."
Katy
looked again at the video where it was frozen on a penis entering a
vagina. She looked at the video and said skeptically, "Maybe... So what
kind of man has a penis that turns into a pole like that?"
"Oh, they all do, sweetie. It's just part of being a man."
"Oh."
"It's
something all women do when they grow up -- they like it then. So it's
not totally strange, it's just ordinarily we wait 'til we're all grown
up and feel like doing it, just for fun."
"I'm never going to want to do that for fun!"
"All
little girls say that. And you never have to do unless you want to. But
here, it's to make your attacks go away, sweetie. And to keep them from
getting worse."
Katy's faced relaxed as she said, "So, would daddy come back to do that
to me?"
"Oh, no, honey, I'm sorry. We don't know where daddy is... But even if
he did come back, not daddy!"
"Why not?"
"Oh,
it's just... This is hard to explain. It's not just like a doctor
sticking a finger up there either, right? You understand that? And so
it's not good for daddy to do that. He's got to just be your daddy,
like always."
"Who would do it?"
"We've got to find a special man," Meredith said, glancing up at the
video camera she had set up to record the conversation.
"Will he be nice?"
"Oh,
yes, you'll like him. You'll get to play with him first, just normal
with clothes on and all, and if you don't like him we'll find another
one."
Katy appeared thoughtful.
"Would you do it if you knew you'd never have another attack?"
Katy's face stayed solemn, but she gave a definite nod.
The
video stopped. Katy was just mesmerizing as a real little girl, and I
found myself bound to her tighter and tighter as I watched her wrestle
with this very uncomfortable choice. I shook my head at the tragedy of
it.
Real-life Meredith looked at me again, holding both of my
hands in hers as the words rushed out. "I know it's totally illegal,
but just showing her that probably makes me a a criminal, and if I ask
you to do this then I'm guilty of a way, way worse crime. But... But I
can't stand to see my daughter suffering if there's any chance! Society
has all these rules about sex, but it's not worth dying just to obey
them... I could pay you... You could do it to me too, if you want, but
no, wait, I guess you wouldn't like that, but just so you know, I'd do
anything --"
I raised my hand to stop her torrent of words. "I'll think about it," I
said, and got up to leave.
As
I turned, Meredith said only one word, "Please..." But in it was the
anguish of a mother who will indeed do anything to save her child's
life.
It
was a nightmare; it was a dream come true. Acting would be a despicable
crime; not acting would be a mortal sin of omission -- it might even be
murder. My motives were pure, and I would find a way to do this even if
I had no sexual attraction to little girls at all; my motive was raw
lust, the chance to be sexually satisfied for the first and quite
probably last time in my life. I could think clearly; I was befuddled
as never before in my life.
Perhaps masturbation would reduce my
lust and it would become clearer. Naturally it was Katy I was
picturing. My orgasm came quickly and was intense -- Katy was plenty
cute but it was the possibility of actual consummation that was
unprecedented, and my body knew it.
The emails from Meredith
continued. The first was in my Inbox before I got home. It thanked me
so much for meeting and apologized for such a strange request. I
quickly replied to say I was thinking about it and would get back to
her shortly. Less than a day later came one with a couple pictures of
Katy, looking very cute. A few hours later was a restrained report of
Katy's latest episode and an anguished paragraph on how it was so hard
for Meredith to wait, yet she felt so bad thinking she was pressuring
me. Next came a report that none of the other men she had contacted had
been willing to even meet with her, and in telling me that she was on
the one hand hoping I would realize it was all on my shoulders and on
the other not think that I would be a fool since all the other men were
saying no. Then came an email with two brief video clips of Katy. In
the first she looked bedraggled and haggard, and said, "Jason, I really
really want you to try to make me better so I don't have these darned
things!" In the second she was in a pretty dress, clean hair shining
and smiling. "I really want you to make me better even when I haven't
just gotten over one of those awful things. And my mommy says I really
oughtta let you know I mean it and she's just not getting me to say it,
and that makes me all confused, but I do know I'll do anything to feel
better. And, and..." She looked down and said, "And I know what you're
gonna do and..." She looked up and straight into the camera, "I want to
do it!" I knew she meant it. She immediately looked a little to the
side of the camera and said, "I'm trying, mommy! Why shouldn't I show
him my vagina? Wouldn't that help?" Meredith chuckled as she said,
"Just so, dear. But I think you really got it that time. No more
takes." I smiled.
I'm 52 years old. I always count to ten before
making a big decision, and I made it to ten. Originally they were
supposed to be days, but I decided half-days were good enough. I waited
ten half-days.
I still wasn't totally committed. When I agreed
to meet Katy, I made it clear that under absolutely no circumstances
was I going to engage in any sexual activity during the visit. Meredith
thought that was a good idea too, since Katy would have time to not
just get to know me, but to think a little bit about it without me
there and make sure it was what she wanted.
When I came over on
Saturday afternoon, Katy was awkward for the first minute, but I have a
way with girls. In no time I was wearing a silly hat, holding a prince
doll and talking to Katy in the voice of the prince. Katy laughed,
showed me her other dolls, and then sat in my lap after handing me the
book she really wanted me to read.
I had read a page when it
suddenly struck her just what this was all about. She sat up straight,
looked at me, and her hands came together at the front of her dress
over where her privates were. I pretended not to notice and just kept
reading, and soon she relaxed again. When that book was done, she
scrambled up and put it back on the shelf. She reached for another, but
before grabbing it she turned to face me.
"Mommy says I'm not
supposed to show you anything naughty this time." Her hands were joined
in front of her privates again and she was twisting back and forth like
the center part of a washing machine.
"That's right," I agreed emphatically. "Everything just like normal."
She
gave a mischievous grin and turned away from me, looking back over her
shoulder once. I could see her lifting the front of her dress, and when
it was up in front, my guess was that she was pulling the front of her
panties out. "You've got to keep hiding!" she said in a stage whisper
to her privates. I had no time to object before she had dropped the
dress, grabbed the next book and turned around, as if nothing had
happened. I read the next book.
I extricated myself from Katy's play space slowly after a couple hours,
the time frame Meredith and I had agreed upon.
"Are you going to come back?" Katy said. "I want you to come back and
read -- and stuff."
"Maybe, we'll talk about it -- but I'd like to." I'd had enough
counting to ten.
"Oh, goody!" said Katy. "Then why can't you stay? Mommy's been getting
me ready down there. We could do it right now!"
Meredith
and I put a stop to this enthusiasm, and I managed to keep my erection
from rising to a visible stage before I was out the door.
Emails
that night confirmed that Katy was very interested in going through
with the plan, and how soon could we do it? Meredith reporting how she
explained to Katy that grown-ups didn't usually go visiting at sunrise
or even 7am. We agreed on 10 the next morning, She also confirmed that
with the help of some dildos Katy was at a point where she should be
able to accommodate me just fine. She was going to set the guest room
up for us. She figured that way if Katy had a bad reaction she wouldn't
associate it with her own bed.
My erection kept surging strongly
to life that evening, and masturbation would have been very tempting,
but I willed it to subside. I needed to conserve my semen for the task
ahead.
"Jason!"
said Katy, reaching out her arms. I put my hands under her armpits and
she jumped up to hug my front, legs snaking around behind my back. She
rested her head against my chest for just a moment before wriggling to
get down.
"We could --" she started, but stopped, her enthusiasm
fading to a more somber expression. "We could do it now," she said,
gulping.
"Not unless you really want to," I said softly.
"You two can go have some privacy in the guest room," said Meredith.
"But Katy, you never have to do anything you don't want."
I led the way to the guest room and Katy followed tentatively. Once I
was inside, I turned. She was standing in the doorway.
"If we're going to do anything, you need to close the door so we have
privacy."
"I... I don't know if I'm..."
"Not sure you're ready? That's fine. We can still close the door and
decide later."
Katy
saw the sense in that and closed the door. "I didn't show you my shells
yesterday. I've picked these up different times, like at the Cape and
then when we went to Florida... I keep them in here because my room has
so much stuff already..."
I listened for a minute, then stood
behind Katy and put my hands gently on her shoulders. I knew she was
trying to avoid an awkward situation. She stopped talking as soon as
she felt my touch. She knew it too.
I sat on the side of the bed and patted the space beside me.
Katy sat.
"You have these awful attacks sometimes, your mommy says."
"They
are just awful! My tummy hurts, and my poop is runny and goes forever,
and sometimes I throw up. But that part's OK, it's that it hurts so, so
much! And then I'm so tired afterward. And they keep getting worse.
We're in this group with other girls with the problem and their
families, and I haven't met any yet, but I did a Skype thingie with one
of them..."
I put my hand lightly on her shoulder and she stopped once more.
"You
have these awful attacks, and your mommy says there's something that
might fix it. And even though it's really strange, you think you'd like
to try it. Is that right?"
She nodded her head up and down twice but didn't look at me.
"Do
you want to wait a bit, or should we get it out of the way?" She
hesitated again, and I kissed her cheek in a friendly parental manner.
"I'll still think you're wonderful no matter what happens," I said.
"Even if you scream and hit me."
She looked over at me with a
trusting smile, then sighed. She was in stocking feet but peeled the
socks off in record time, then got up. And then she stripped, quickly
and without ceremony, as if she was getting ready for the bath. She
pulled the dress up and over her head and tossed it aside onto the
floor, then pulled her panties down, kicked them away with a foot, and
stood before me naked.
"See! Here I am!" But her smile faded at once.
"You look perfect!" I said with a very sincere smile, but I gulped
myself. "I guess it's my turn?"
Katy nodded.
I
started to undress too, though it took me longer. Off came sneakers and
socks, shirt and undershirt, then trousers. I hesitated briefly before
shedding my briefs. I didn't have an erection, though my organ was more
full of blood than usual. The naked 5-year-old in front of me looked at
it.
Why would I have an erection? Katy was a child, and children
need our protection. They don't need any sexual attention from adults.
If I found a child attractive, an erection was for later, in private,
while remembering. Except Katy was different. She had not stripped in
preparation for a bath. She had stripped because she wanted me to slide
my penis into her vagina in an effort to cure her mysterious
affliction. Like any kind adult, I would like to help her. I was
providing medical treatment. Except I couldn't really provide this
medical treatment unless I had some impure thoughts. I was a bit
ashamed at how readily those impure thoughts came and how rapidly my
penis rose to its ready condition.
She glanced at my swollen organ and said in a meek voice, "So this will
cure me?"
"We hope so," I said softly.
She
lay back on the bed, legs spread wide. She held her pussy lips open the
way the woman in the video had done, then looked up at the ceiling and
gulped.
What was the right thing to say? I was pretty sure the
topic was not covered in any parenting manuals. I decided to get the
simple parts out of the way. I crawled up onto her, and as I did she
removed her hands. I kept my penis a couple inches away from her
private parts. I held my torso up on my elbows and looked at her.
"Katy?"
She looked up at me.
"We only do this if you want to, right?"
She nodded.
"You
have these terrible attacks, and your mommy thinks maybe this will make
them better. That's the only reason I'd ever do this to you, right? And
the only reason your mommy would let me, and the only reason you'd let
me, right?"
She nodded again, still looking solemn and nervous.
"So, should we do this weird thing where I take this funny dildo that
grows out of me and slide it into you?"
She smiled then. "Your peepee turned into a dildo!"
"I guess it did! So should I make it do what dildos do?"
"Yeah, I guess."
I reached down between us and gently nudged her lips apart.
"The
amazing Jason will now do his dildo disappearing act!" I said as I
lodged my tip in the moist folds that promised a vagina within. "Ready?
Could we have a drum roll please?"
She tried to smile but I could see it was an effort. Maybe that was as
far as humor could take us.
I
pressed and she shut her eyes. I expected resistance but there wasn't
much. Her vagina spread readily to receive my intrusion, though she was
tight. It felt wet and warm. At one level it also felt good, but it
wasn't a level I wanted to focus on. I was here with Katy in an
incredibly awkward situation, my purpose to give her some medicine.
Surely any man with compassion would react the same way? A little
stimulation was all the male body required, a little vaginal embrace,
hot and wet. I went in and out with slow, small strokes and felt my
climax building. Katy -- it was all about Katy. I took an extra breath
as I felt my orgasm beginning, but remained calm and otherwise quiet.
Yes, there was pleasure -- that was inevitable during ejaculation. I
felt my rhythmic contractions expelling my semen into Katy's little
vagina. As the last orgasmic twitch subsided, I sighed and took some
deep breaths, letting my penis slide out, less than a minute after I
had slid it in.
"There, all done!" I said.
She opened her eyes. "Really?"
I nodded and smiled.
She relaxed visibly. "That was easy, just like a dildo! And you hardly
put it in at all!"
The shallow penetration was just what I had intended. It made sense
that Meredith had allowed for full-depth penetration.
"Yippee!
We did it!" shouted Katy, bouncing up. She found her panties and
managed to get them right side out and put them on. After putting on my
own briefs I retrieved her dress and straightened it out for her so she
could just slip it over her head. I put on my own trousers and T-shirt.
I'd have been happy to read or play, but I of course followed her lead.
She went to find her mommy and sat in her lap.
"How was it?" asked Meredith softly. "Did you, um, do it?" She looked
away, then made herself look up to see me nod.
"It was fine," said Katy, and after a pause, "So what happens now?"
"Whatever you want," said Meredith. "You want to play by yourself, or
have Jason read you a book?"
"By myself," said Katy.
"OK," I said, and returned to the guest room to finish dressing. I
heard the two of them talking softly in the living room.
When I emerged, Katy smiled and said, "Thank you." I knelt and she came
over and gave me a hug, but not a long one.
"Well, let's be in touch later," I said, and Meredith nodded.
My
better self had been focused on giving Katy what she needed, a dose of
sperm delivered gently and politely. That part of me felt proud.
But
the other part of me, the same one that had ejaculated, remembered how
wonderful it felt, how amazing to mount a 5-year-old, be received by
her vagina, to join bodies, and to deliver my load up inside her
private, tender place that was designed for just that purpose -- though
not designed to be used that way for several years. Now that the event
was over, I was happy. Happy in a very lusty, naughty way. I'd fucked a
little girl!
The email I got the next morning from Meredith was
sad, though not unexpected. That very afternoon Katy had had one of her
attacks -- a doozy, though not the worst. If there was relief to be
found in this treatment, it wasn't immediate and unmistakable.
I
wasn't sure what Meredith would do next, whether she would give up or
suggest another try. I was surprised that she suggested meeting in the
park again, though I readily agreed.
As I approached the bench,
I did feel a pang of anxiety. Whatever the extenuating circumstances, I
had molested her 5-year-old daughter in unmistakable and dramatic
fashion.
"Hi," I said.
"Hi."
"That was certainly very strange. After all the talk and reasoning, it
was still very strange."
"Yeah, thank you. I know I'm the one who pushed you into it. Who
badgered you into it. Bullied you."
"You
made your opinions known, it's true, but I certainly wanted to do it. I
really wanted to help Katy, and I'm sorry it didn't work."
"But did you just want to help Katy? I mean, I met you on a pedophile
forum..."
I
grinned sheepishly. "Well, no, obviously I enjoyed it too. I had to
enjoy it to a certain extent or I couldn't even do the job you wanted
me to do."
She smiled. "Right. Katy told me about it. In great detail. Over and
over."
"Sorry if it wasn't so great for her. I'm surprised she found much
detail to tell. It didn't last very long."
"If
I ever had any doubt, I now know that even at age 5, to a girl a penis
is very different from a dildo. Not physically, but psychologically. A
penis has a man stuck on the end of it." She laughed. "She talked about
how you held your breath and your face looked kind of funny."
"I thought her eyes were closed."
"Apparently
not the whole time. She asked if it hurt you. I assured her that it
didn't, and that in fact you liked it very much. You did, didn't you?"
"Yeah, of course."
"It's not like you're having to pretend she's attractive or beat
yourself into it."
"No way."
"See,
it got me thinking. If you didn't go in very far, only moved a little,
and it didn't last very long... God, I can't believe I'm talking about
my 5-year-old's sex life like this!"
"True, it's weird. But we have good reasons."
"True. I was thinking about the rats again. How the semen alone didn't
work, but when the male rat mated with her, it did work."
"OK..."
"Well,
I wonder if the male rat thought with consideration about how the poor
little female was just a pup and he didn't want to be too rough with
her."
I smiled. "Uh, no, you wouldn't think so, would you."
"So..."
"So. You want me to act like a male rat?"
"No. I thought maybe you should act like a man would act with a woman."
"Um,
there is a lot of variety, and some men are very gentle and quick.
There are those Catholic guys who cover their wives with a sheet and
just stick their dick through a hole while thinking Christ-like
thoughts." I was stalling.
"If you let yourself go and just do what you wanted, would you be
trying to hurt her?"
"God, no!"
"Sorry,
I just figured I ought to ask. I'm convinced that if there's no
physical pain, what makes it sexual abuse is all about why the man is
doing what he's doing, about the secrecy and betrayal of trust. And
that's not happening here."
"So if she looks back on being raped by a horny pedophile, she'll
realize it was for her own good?"
"It wouldn't be rape, not really. I mean, if she doesn't want to do it,
we're not going to, right?"
"Right."
"And otherwise, yeah, that's just what I think... Assuming she grows up
at all..." She was suddenly fighting back tears.
"Yeah, I'm sorry."
"Jason,"
she said, turning to me. "I want you to do all the things to her that
you'd like to do, in terms of making love. I don't know what that all
is -- kissing, back rubs?"
"Sure."
"Did you know the
dildo work wasn't really that hard? I was expecting tears and blood,
but mostly what I got were giggles. And she could take 8 inches of a
fat one if it came to that."
"Hmmm, well, I don't think I can help you there."
"I
just meant that whatever size you are, you don't need to hold back. And
here's another thing. Psychologically, little girls have women inside
them. It's all there in some form. And I don't know if women have
talked to you much about sex..."
"No, can't say they have..."
"Well,
I've talked to a few women about it, and there's something special
about being totally desired by a man and taken just the way he wants.
Even if he doesn't give a shit about her pleasure. Even if it hurts."
"Hmmm. And you're thinking Katy would see it that way?"
"I'm
just thinking or hoping that there's that part in her -- in her body at
least -- that will recognize and respond to that. When you do it again,
I want you to go all the way. Give it a full test. Don't leave us
wondering if maybe you were too considerate and gentle. Shove it in and
out fast and deep."
"Like really do it to her, no holds barred..."
"Right.
I don't want any part of her to be in any doubt about it -- she's
really got to know at every level that she's just been, just been,
um..." She looked at me and raised her voice, "fucked!"
"Yeah, I
get it." We were silent a moment, then I said, "I wonder if a good
mother has ever talked to a pedophile this way in the whole history of
the world."
Katy was much more relaxed this time. When she started to wiggle out of
her dress, I stopped her.
"No, you don't. We'll get to that in time."
"Huh?"
"Taking clothes off can be part of the fun. Just lie down."
As
we lay on the bed, I kissed her cheek as I stroked her hair. I gazed
into her eyes, then kissed her ear. When I brought my lips slowly
towards hers, I wasn't sure what to expect. After my first kiss, she
pulled back and looked at me.
"We do other grown-up stuff too? Not just down there?"
"Yeah, that's right. If you're willing I'd really like to."
"OK."
I kissed her again, over and over, and after a few awkward attempts she
got the hang of it and kissed me back.
Pulling
back, I admired her right arm. So small and delicate, the skin smooth
and perfect. Her hand was amazing. I turned it over and back, working
my fingers over every little bit. I kissed every finger in turn. Every
tendon and knuckle was a miniature version of a grown-up's. But because
it was part of Katy, it was magical.
"Why are you playing with my hand?" she asked at last.
"Because it's wonderful. You may know your mommy thinks you're
wonderful, but I think it in a different way."
She smiled impishly. "Like a grown-up kissy sort of way?"
"Exactly!" I leaned in to kiss her again. "Just try to appreciate how
much I love your body."
I
massaged her scalp, and had her turn over on her stomach so I could
inhale deeply of her neck and rub her warm back through her dress. I
took some time tracing my fingers over each butt cheek. Nudging her
over again to expose her front, I nuzzled against her throat while my
hands worked over her soft stomach, harder ribcage, and the delicate
nipples, not really detectable under cloth. Breasts would grow there
some day, but they weren't there yet, thank goodness!
I sat up
and began to attend to her lower half. I reached below to gently rub my
fingers over her right sock, then peeled it off slowly to show her
small, luscious foot. She wiggled her toes, getting into the spirit,
and I licked them vigorously, making her laugh. The left foot was next,
and then the agenda called for calves. I tried to concentrate on them,
but I was drawn upward past her knees to her thighs. I nudged them
apart enough to caress the inner surfaces up under her dress as I moved
higher. When my fingers grazed panty cloth I let out a big sigh, which
made her giggle.
The touch of the cloth kindled some urgency in
me. Yes, this girl was magnificent and perfect in her every square
millimeter, but more specific desires were rising. The lazy erection in
my pants became very stiff. I put my hand up further under the dress to
feel more of her panties, to trace the seams, to press against the
cloth and determine the shape and warmth of what lay within.
"Oh,
Katy!" I gasped, as my fingers reconfirmed that she had just what I
wanted up under there. "Let me scoot your dress up, OK?"
"OK," she whispered with a smile, as if we shared a big secret.
She
raised her bottom and I pulled the dress up to her lower back and then
scrunched the front up around her middle. It was a 5-year-old girl's
tummy, two 5-year-old girl's legs, and white panties covering where
they all came together -- to me it was a temple, a shrine.
I
checked Katy's face to see how she was doing, and she looked curious
and fairly relaxed. I quick gave her a kiss. I hesitated a moment,
embarrassed, and then remembered what Meredith had said. She wanted
Katy to know in no uncertain terms that I desired her. "Katy, I'm just
wild about what's between your legs, and I'm going to go exploring, OK?"
She
nodded and smiled, and I scooted down on the bed and buried my face
between her legs. I pressed my nose against her panties and took in a
deep breath, absorbing a delicious mixture of delicate smells: a bit of
pee, generic young child sweetness, freshly laundered cotton, and
something else -- the delicious little girl prefiguring of a woman's
sexual odor. Again and again I breathed it in, then raised my face to
look closely as I worked my fingers around all the hems where Katy
disappeared inside panties. What I wanted would not be hidden for long.
But
it wouldn't do to ignore the appetizers. Her dress was scrunched around
her middle. Instead of taking it off, I decided that feeling under
cloth would be a more delicious naughtiness. With both hands I slid
under the bunched up dress fabric and went up under, feeling ribcage. I
explored out to the sides, and slid up to her armpits, then in to the
center. I found the tiny nipples on her flat chest and rubbed them in
tiny circles with my index fingers.
"You're funny!" said Katy.
"You... You are incredibly sexy!" I said.
I
pressed my hands up further until they emerged from her dress onto her
neck, and gently felt the collar bones before pulling my hands back
under the dress and over her smooth, hot skin. As my hands emerged on
her bare stomach, I didn't stop. Continuing the same motion, I hooked
fingers under her panties at her hips and pulled down. I slowed
momentarily to treasure the moment when the descending cloth went from
exposing modest little mound to girl slit. My eyes stayed locked on
that slit as I yanked the panties down over her feet and off.
It
wasn't just my hands and face I wanted to touch her with, and I sat
back to strip, whipping off shirt, undershirt, pants and underpants. I
rose up onto my knees to give Katy a good long look at the organ that
would be penetrating her, and she looked appreciatively at it, but then
her face clouded over.
"What is it?" I asked, concerned.
"Um, mommy said you might want me to, like, lick it..."
"Is that something you'd really, really like to do?"
Her
expression made the answer to that entirely clear, but I was touched at
what a good girl she wanted to be. "Um, OK." She gulped.
"I asked if you really, really wanted to, just for you."
"No," she said sheepishly, then, "But I will!"
"I don't want you to, honey," I said. "Would you like to touch it?"
That made her smile. She touched the tip like it was a hot stove.
"You want to pet it, kind of like a kitty? You don't have to."
She smiled again and stroked her fingers along the top, from tip
towards body.
"Petting the underside would be really nice," I said, and she did that
too. I closed my eyes and sighed.
It
was great that she honored my penis with eyes and hands, but it had
another sort of touch in mind. I returned to the part of her I desired
most.
Seeing her naked vulva, I felt a primitive instinct to
spread her legs, aim, thrust with immense force and puncture her -- but
I let it pass, of course.
Instead I lowered my face to her
crotch again and from a few inches away watched my fingers dance
lightly over her inner thighs and girl lips. Within seconds those
fingers were spreading the lips gently to reveal the folds within. I
poked gently into her vagina with my right little finger, and the
inside was hot and slippery. My face was drawn to her sexy girliness
and I began licking frantically.
At the touch of my tongue she yelped and wiggled.
"Are you OK?" I asked, coming up for air.
"You're getting your mouth all dirty with me."
"Oh, don't worry about that," I said. "I just love it, and it's not
really dirty. But let me know if it feels funny."
I
didn't wait for an answer before returning, licking carefully up her
inner lips, poking my tongue into her vagina, licking the lips again,
concentrating on the top tip. I focused there and slowed down, waiting
to see if it would get any reaction out of her. Within 30 seconds her
pelvis started wiggling the tiniest bit this way and that.
"That's funny," she said.
"Good funny or bad funny?" I said in one quick breath before returning
to her girly pleasure place.
"Good funny."
I
was glad she was getting a hint of the pleasant part of all this, but I
certainly wasn't going to get into the very slow and iffy business of
trying to get her off.
I reared up, ready at last to take the
prize. "Legs apart, so I can get at you," I said. She spread them some.
"Wider... a lot wider... Good girl!" I said and lowered myself.
I
paused as any decent man should at the prospect of penetrating such a
small girl, but I remembered why this was different. Trying to cure
her, doing what her mother begged me to do.
Pressing a penis
against just about any other place on a girl will just dent the flesh.
But I was in a very special place, and my gentle pressure was almost at
once rewarded with a warm, wet embrace. I saw her looking at me, and
realized that what she saw was a man with a lecherous grin, greedily
enjoying the sight of his cock disappearing up into the cunt of a
willing little girl. I felt a flash of shame, but then remembered that
she was seeing the truth -- a truth that we very much wanted her to
see. I then felt a shudder of pleasure at how great it was that I could
be who I really was in this moment, and could feel good about feeling
so excited and lustful.
"This is so naughty, isn't it?" she said with bright eyes.
"Oh, yes!" I said, "except today naughty is good too."
There
was an exquisite thrill at each millimeter of her depths that I
occupied for the first time that day. The hot slickness of her outer
parts was no bait and switch. She had hot and wet extending up inside
to match my entire length. It was the mashing of our pubic bones that
finally put an end to the penetration. She had accepted every inch I
had to give. I pulled almost all the way out and slid in again to the
hilt, then repeated it over and over, relishing pressing that last
little bit. I began a quick fucking motion, only coming out a fraction
of an inch on each stroke. After several seconds of that, I pulled out
almost all the way and plunged in once more.
I checked Katy's
face, and to my delight she was smiling. "You stuff me so full!" she
whispered, then giggled. I lay down on her then, but not with all my
weight, and kissed her. Down below I fucked in and out vigorously.
Once
my tip was inside her wetness, I could have blown my load with a mere
second or two of concentration, but I wanted to make it last.
She looked troubled. "Am I a bad girl? Cuz it feels really nice and
warm where you're going in an out. Good in a naughty way."
"No, Katy, that's perfectly natural. If it feels good, let it. It might
even help the medicine work better."
"Oh!" she said, relieved.
I was having the time of my life fucking a 5-year-old. It was an added
bonus that she seemed to be having a good time.
I
lay down on her and worked my hands under her back while I nibbled her
ear. I realized the dress was in the way now, and I stopped thrusting
long enough to get the dress up and off her, revealing her total
nakedness. That little break made the thrusting even more exciting when
I resumed, as I absorbed the pleasure her hot wetness gave me with
every motion of cock in little-girl pussy. I raised myself up, took one
of her hands in each of mine and pressed them back against the
mattress, pinning her above while more literally pinning her below,
over and over, up to the hilt.
I let my full weight down onto
her long enough for her to notice trouble breathing, and then I wrapped
one hand around each of her cute little buttocks. I nudged her legs
apart a little more with mine and then I could press cock and cunt
together even tighter than before, my hands forcing us together rather
than the mattress absorbing any of the energy of the thrusts.
In
the outer world I did all these various things, but inside my gorgeous
5-year-old Katy, it was all much the same. My very hard penis forced
her vaginal walls apart as it pressed deep, but the walls closed again
as it withdrew, keeping my tip stimulated with hot, slurpy walls.
However fast I pressed, however deep, her pussy followed my lead. She
might be a little girl, just 5 years old, but her pussy knew just what
to do with a male organ. Its goal was to make my penis so welcome and
so happy and so excited that it would spew its life-giving semen. And
my penis was plenty happy and excited, waiting only for my conscious
mind to let it go. In and out, over and over again, ecstasy building.
I
held myself up on my hands so I could look down on my gorgeous, naked
little Katy, legs spread wide, accepting my deepest thrusts up into her
intimate feminine space. Her face was now slack and her gaze unfocused,
showing unmistakably that she was feeling sexual pleasure.
I let
myself go, fucking into her deep and fast, over and over, my own
pleasure building and building, my cock getting just a little harder,
achieving one final millimeter of penetration. I was panting like crazy
with the pace of my humping, screwing, reaming, fucking motion until
pure pleasure was upon me, and there my brain sat for several seconds
before the release, when suddenly my tubes and ducts went crazy,
loading and firing, spitting glob after glob of milky sperm into Katy's
deepest recesses. I kept up the frantic fuck for several seconds after
the last twitch had passed, then gradually let myself slow down and lay
down to cover Katy's tiny form with my large one, while still holding
most of my own weight.
Katy was saying something, but my ears were ringing and my own
breathing was still so fast that I couldn't make it out.
She got more and more animated, and then I finally began to take it in.
"The
hurt's gone! It's just gone! It's like magic! What did you do with it?
I haven't felt this good in ages!" She was squeezing me with all the
strength her little arms could muster as she peppered me with kisses.
"Oh, wow, it's so amazing!"
My preference would have been to
rest slowly in afterglow with my little one for an hour, maybe fall
asleep together. But she had other ideas. I reluctantly moved onto my
side to let the squirming bundle free, and she immediately scrambled
right out of bed, still chattering, threw open the door and raced down
the hallway to find Meredith. She had retreated to the study at the far
end of the house, to hear as little as possible of the sounds of her
5-year-old getting fucked. As Meredith later reported, Katy appeared
stark naked, her hair mussed, her torso slick with my sweat, her vulva
engorged -- and with sperm trickling down her leg. But she was also
bouncing up and down and from the shine in her eyes, Meredith just knew
she was reborn.
Katy's
main symptom was the terrible attacks, but a less noticed effect of her
SLGS was that she had just felt a little worse and worse all the time.
It had happened so gradually she hadn't even really been aware of it --
until it lifted. She reported that it had happened as my penis made its
final frantic thrusts within her, spewing semen and mushing it against
her vaginal walls. Something went from vagina into bloodstream and had
an immediate effect.
Driving home that night, I was about as
happy as a man could be. I'd expected never to have sex with anyone I
was really attracted to, and now I had, twice! But this time I had been
free to do every little exciting thing I could think of, knowing it was
for Katy's good too. And Katy had been not just any little girl, but a
beautiful, lively, and appealing little girl, and it had been fantastic
sex. It had been with her mother's consent and -- oh yeah -- it had
cured her of a horrible condition and maybe saved her life.
Meredith
kept Katy home from school the next day, knowing she would be unable to
keep from chattering endlessly about this weird thing a man had done
with her that made her feel so good. While Meredith was delighted to
have the company of her newly happy, ebullient little girl that day,
she was also repeatedly bombarded with the most obvious of requests:
Katy wanted to know when I could come over and do it to her again.
I
was certainly in favor. Meredith was in favor too. She had mixed
feelings about her daughter at the age of 5 starting a prolonged affair
with an older man, but no one knew whether the beneficial effects of
the sex would last, and logic suggested that more would be better.
"Jason!" shouted Katy when Meredith opened the door to reveal me
standing outside.
"Hello Katy!" I said.
She leapt into my arms and plastered herself onto my front.
"Someone's glad to see you," said Meredith with a smile.
"Can we go to the guest room now?" she asked.
"Don't you want me to read you a story first?"
"No, I just wanna, you know, what we did before."
I looked at Meredith. "A girl who knows what she wants."
Meredith sighed. "And so young..." We both smiled.
Katy wriggled out of my arms. "Can we, can we?" she said, tugging on my
hand.
"Sure, Katy," I said. I waved to Meredith over my shoulder as Katy
pulled me with surprising force towards the guest room.
She
was wearing a cute blue dress and white tights, and her hair was
freshly combed. Meredith had undoubtedly dressed her with care, but
Katy was thinking about other things, for she immediately began
shedding her clothes. It was not designed to be a strip tease, but I
still found it erotic to see the little girl emerge, including her cute
little girly parts. She bounced onto the bed, on her back with legs
spread wide, leaving no doubt about just how private she wanted those
private parts to be today.
I would have taken things a little
slower, but Katy had one thing on her mind, and it wasn't like I
objected. I stripped with a bit more leisure, glancing over at Katy as
my erection quickly became full. Fully undressed, I turned to face her.
"Ooo,
ooo!" she said, seeing it. "Come here! Stick it in me!" She spread her
lips with her right hand and pointed at her vaginal opening with her
left index finger.
When I didn't move in at once, she scrambled
up and stuck her face right in front of my organ. "Hi there, you big
penis! I'm so glad to see you. You wanna go sticking up into my cunny?
She really wants a visit. You can go in and out like crazy." She poked
her right index finger into a tunnel she made with her left fingers, in
and out hard, very fast. "You can do it even if Jason's not ready..."
She looked up at me with a grin before returning to my cock. "Here's a
kiss!" and she gave my tip a brief but slurpy kiss. "Remember how good
it felt?"
What a sweet girl! "Now, Katy, don't be too eager
here. Remember we did it on Saturday real quick and nothing happened?
And then Sunday I spent a long time playing with every part of your
luscious body first."
"OK," she said, flopping back on the bed, arms and legs spread wide.
"Here I am! Play with me any way you like!"
I
sat beside her. I admired her hair and stroked it gently. "Oh, just let
me touch you!" And with that I began kissing her everywhere, hands
roaming elsewhere at the same time. I sat up beside her, hand between
her legs cupping her little girl parts, moving rhythmically.
"I
know what I want," I said. "Turn over on your tummy... Now stick your
butt up in the air... Right, just like that -- no, let me move you a
bit... there!" I appreciatively caressed the curves of her rear end,
and noted her little anus but truly admired her girly lips below. I
spread them with my left hand and shoved my right index finger into her
hot and wet pussy. She laughed. I could have mounted her from behind,
but somehow didn't really want to just then.
She was so perfect, so hot! "Oh, shit!" I muttered.
She looked at me, alarmed.
I laughed. "No, it's just you're so sexy... God, let me have at you!"
And
she quickly lay back, spread her legs for me and held her lips apart. I
just descended and guided my cock right into her. Within a minute I had
gotten in to the hilt and began a vigorous copulation. In and out, fast
and deep.
Her expression was unmistakable -- she wanted me to
come. I realized a girl could be sure she'd been fucked even if an
encounter was brief. Intensity could make up for duration. I lay on her
and growled as I playfully bit her neck. She laughed.
I found
her left nipple with my mouth and licked it vigorously, leading to more
laughter, and then I switched to the right. I then sobered up.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Finish!"
"What does that mean?"
"Where you go really fast, and start breathing fast. And you make
peepee in me." She giggled.
I
grinned, let my whole weight fall on her and fucked away vigorously.
When she started gasping for breath a few seconds later, I lifted
myself up just enough so she could breathe. I locked lips with her then
as I let myself go down below. I was kissing little Katy and fucking
her at the same time. The pleasure built, built some more, and then
burst. I ejaculated over and over again into the depth of her little
pussy.
As I calmed down, I realized that Katy was quiet.
"Why didn't it happen?" she asked.
Obviously she was asking about her reaction, not mine.
"I'm
not sure, honey, but we knew it was a possibility. It could be my stuff
only makes you better when you're sick, but when you're feeling well it
doesn't do anything special."
"Oh, OK."
"But I'd like to just lie here with you for a while and appreciate how
wonderful you are."
"OK," she said, and was content to be enfolded and for me to cup my
hand over her girlhood.
But within a few minutes she was fidgeting and turning back and forth.
"You want to get up?" I said, knowing the answer.
"Yeah." She got up.
"Here,
let me help you get dressed again," I said. And I enjoyed turning her
tights right side out again and helping her into panties, tights, and
dress.
"Thanks!" she said when we were all done, and opened the door.
I
was disappointed she wasn't more into the afterglow, but I also berated
myself for greed. How much could a pedophile expect? Wasn't hot sex
with a little girl enough? Of course it was. More than enough. Beyond
my wildest dreams! But as I thought about my reactions, I realized I
also wanted Katy to love me, and Katy wasn't going to do that. Katy was
5 years old. You could stretch a girl's pussy, you could give her sexy
feelings, you could plunge in and out, and you could in some cases,
apparently, cure her by ejaculating into her. But the kind of love I
wanted was something much more complicated, something that couldn't be
forced, and something that would happen with some boy her age when she
was much older.
As
each day passed with no new attacks, we were all thankful, keeping our
fingers crossed. Should Katy and I do it again, and if so, when?
Obviously if her symptoms returned we would, but beyond that there was
no script to follow. It was possible that only daily inseminations
would keep Katy's illness from coming back. It was also possible that
the one dose delivered with unmistakable lust had cured her forever.
Since
no one knew what was best, Meredith left it to Katy, who didn't suggest
any more sessions right away. But after two weeks Katy realized right
at bedtime that she was feeling cruddy, and wanted to know if I could
come over. It was already early evening and I couldn't get over before
her bedtime, but she wanted me to come anyway. When I arrived Katy was
asleep. Meredith woke her up, and she gave me a big, groggy smile. They
had already decided it was fine for Katy to do it in her own bed now.
Meredith left and closed the door, leaving us in the dark except for a
night light. So here I was crawling naked in next to Katy, in a room
surrounded by all the fluffy pink stuff that a girl's room accumulates.
Katy didn't volunteer to take her nightgown off, and I saw no need.
Once I'd reached up and slipped her panties off, I had the only bit of
nakedness I really needed. It would have been tempting to be quick so
she could get back to sleep, but I remembered that she had to know she
was being mated. So the sleepy girl put up with having her face kissed
and pawed and licked -- in good humor, if not great enthusiasm. I found
my way up under her nightgown and between her legs, and I slid my
twitching cock into her lovely, hot, slick pussy. I grunted and
groaned, fondled and grappled her all different ways, and down below I
thrust into her hard, fast and deep, for many minutes.
Having
done this three times before, she felt my orgasm coming, and just
before I spurted, she said, "You're about to pee the stuff into me,
right?"
"Yes!" I said, and she gave a big smile. It was an added
exciting touch, and my brain sizzled even more during orgasm while
below the hydraulics did their thing and splatted man goop into her
innards. My continued thrusts spread the goop around, and this time I
watched Katy.
"Oh, oh yes!" she said. It wasn't an orgasm, but it was relief. Two
weeks of slowly building cruddy feeling was instantly gone.
I
was touched that she managed a "Thanks!" Everything was aligned for her
to fall asleep very fast. She didn't need panties to sleep, so after I
pulled out I just smoothed her nightgown down again.
The logical
thing to do was to get dressed and go home, but I figured I could stay
just a little while, lying on my side, looking at Katy on her back
sleeping. It was a single bed so it was close quarters -- so much the
better.
At any given moment, I had the choice of getting up or
continuing to feast my eyes on little Katy, and somehow getting up
never seemed the right choice. An hour must have gone by before I heard
rustling in the hallway, a quiet knock, and then Meredith opened the
door and crept in.
She gave a questioning look, and I gave her a
thumbs up. I motioned her over and whispered, "I'm having so much fun
just looking at her sleep -- do you mind if I just stay and watch?"
Meredith considered a moment, and I whispered again, "This is just as
much a pedophile's dream as the other part."
She
looked at me then, smiled, nodded, and left. I wondered what thoughts
went through her head. Ordinarily a parent would worry that a man
sleeping in his daughter's bed might do something inappropriate -- but
of course the full-blown entirely inappropriate thing was already
behind us.
So as the hours went by, Katy slept and I watched
her, warm in bed beside her. For long periods she lay in one place, and
at other times she tossed and turned. One turn left her facing towards
me, our noses inches apart. It was heaven. Another turn left her facing
the wall, and I dared to snuggle up to her from behind and put my arm
over her lightly. After a few minutes she wriggled again and I
instantly backed off to let her lie however her she wanted.
I dozed myself, and each time I woke, the realization I was right
beside Katy was its own heavenly moment.
At
one point I slept a full hour, and then realized it was starting to get
light. Time to get home in time to get ready for work. Time to leave
Katy alone in her own bed. I got up and dressed, and after one last
long, tender look I let myself out.