God Is Horny
by Sterling

Part 1 of 3

I am God. Down on your knees and pray! Sin not lest I smite thee! Taketh not My name in vain!

Yeah, right. Chill out. I am God, but it's not what you think. Let me tell you a little about myself.

I'm not all powerful -- but I can do a great deal. I'm not all knowing -- I know some things but not others. And am I all good? That is an excellent question, and I would give anything to know the answer.

I mostly exist in the Godspace dimension. It has a geography identical to "real" space, it's just a place hidden from you guys where I can move around and do cool God things.

My awareness began on Earth just as the place was cooling down. Probably someone or something sent me, but I haven't the foggiest idea who or why.

I'm a local kind of God. Can't do a thing with Mars or Venus, and can't tell what's going on there any more than your astronomers can. I can move a bit of dust around on the moon if I had to, but it would be very tiring. But in this little sphere of the Earth's crust, up into satellite orbits and down to the deepest mines and ocean trenches -- there I can do things. I can move a mountain, part the seas, even nudge a tectonic plate a little bit -- but they are exhausting! As objects get smaller, it gets easier. I can move around something the size of a boulder with no problem, even a few thousand at a time. If you go down to the level of things the size of people, I can mess with billions at once without breaking a sweat. I could squash every human in an instant. I can change trillions of things at a time.

But as the story begins, I had never used that power. So all the religions who thought they'd seen the hand of God revealed on Earth were wrong. God said nothing to Moses, and Jesus was just a man. Spirits do not reside in trees or rocks, and there is no reincarnation.

Religions come from people's heads, and they are interesting, but there was no God who influences things on Earth. Agnostics were closest to understanding reality.

That's what I can do. What do I know? I can be everywhere at once in Godspace, observing from billions of perspectives. So over the millions of years I have been watching Earth, I have collected a huge hunk of data to work with.

Understanding natural phenomena is pretty straightforward. What goes on in the minds of creatures is less clear, and of course the more complex the brain, the harder it is. I started paying close attention when the apes showed, then I learned from all the hominid forms. Neanderthals were cool, but you guys killed them off.

You humans are by far the most fascinating creatures. I've read every word that's ever been written, and heard every word that has been spoken. With all that, I'm a pretty good student of human nature. But I can't read anyone's thoughts and I don't know for sure what anyone is going to do next. Nor could I control anyone with any subtlety. I could restrain them or threaten them with pain, but I can't change someone's thoughts just by messing with some neurons. The patterns are just too small and too incredibly complicated.

So I can do a great deal, but didn't used to, and I know a great deal, but not everything.

What I don't know is what I should do or why.

I've considered looking at human purposes and seeing if I can learn from them. You humans have come up with your own sense of morality that you almost all agree on. There is far less agreement on a purpose, and most people know that a satisfactory answer is impossible. People latch on to some purpose: being fruitful and multiplying, religion, the love of nature, the love of fellow humans, great art, even just maximizing pleasure. Then they stop thinking about it.

But even if humans had found a purpose, it would have been a result of evolution by natural selection. That is arbitrary and unsatisfying. It would not have any direct application to me.

So I have collected massive quantities of data and tried to make sense out of it -- something kind of like meditation.

I said earlier that I never changed anything on Earth. Here's why: Studying the evolving Earth was my biggest hope for grasping my purpose. I'd always believed that as soon as I changed it in any way, it would be contaminated with my ignorant impulses and could no longer help me.

Religions who imagine a personal God are correct in one respect: I watch everything people do, and I listen to prayers. But I never answered any of them because it would have contaminated my experiment.

Most thoughtful believers have asked themselves at one time or another how I could allow so much suffering. The main reason was my determination not to contaminate anything. But did I gnash my teeth, itching to intervene? No. I understand yearnings to some extent -- I want to know the purpose of my existence, and I understand boredom. But I deliberately stayed aloof from the human viewpoint. It is just something that evolved in largely arbitrary fashion. I was looking for a real purpose beyond the whims of chance in human evolution -- I am God, after all. Getting all wrapped up with preventing suffering would have been identifying too much with human purposes. It was also clear to me that if I eliminated suffering and strife, Earth would become a very dull place.

In any case, I had been meditating and cogitating for these millions of years, never disturbing a hair on Earth. Was I as God supposed to find a higher God? Find transcendent truth of the sort you seek in your meditation? I thought that if I considered the matter hard enough the truth would come to me. No luck.

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Human history and prehistory are full of cycles. An ice age came and went. Civilizations were born, flourished, and then died. First there was famine and pestilence and the population plummeted. Then in better times the happy and optimistic people filled the world once more. The cycle repeated itself.

I became disturbed when I saw another trend. Humans had triggered a permanent decline that would last forever. The Earth would never recover from it, not in thousands of years or even millions. Non-renewable resources were being consumed at a rate sure to lead to scarcity. Natural habitat was being destroyed, causing a massive and accelerating loss of biodiversity. This was all happening during a cycle of peace and plenty. It would become much worse when prosperity turned to severe hardship.

Humans were over the hill! If the human condition had reached its peak of complexity and was headed downhill, what hope did I have that my experiment would teach me what I wanted to know? It was enough to make a deity turn to drink.

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Feeling that my hands-off approach was never going to get me anywhere, I thought of alternatives. The most interesting choice open to me was to experience reality as you humans experience it. If I couldn't figure out the purpose of my existence, perhaps I could at least feel less lonely by letting myself experience life as you do. I would at least learn something new, and perhaps something unexpected would happen.

My first intervention in the world, my first contamination since the dawn of time, was to move a grain of sand over by a millimeter. I paused for a day or so to celebrate -- and mourn. But once that barrier was broken, I saw no further need to proceed gradually.

So I incarnated myself in real space as a human -- I created a human out of material from Godspace and hooked myself up to him. For the first time, I felt pressures within my body, heard sounds, saw colors, felt air move in and out of my lungs. I could move the body around with its own muscles without any further intervention from Godspace. I held my breath and felt the compulsion to take another breath. I dug my fingernails into my forearm to feel the pain. I drank water when I was thirsty and felt the relief. It wasn't that hard to master a body.

I then turned to the uniquely human -- the achievements of the human mind and imagination.

I didn't satisfy myself with a single body. To sample a large chunk of classical music I made thousands of human bodies. I plopped them down on living room sofas throughout the world when the residents were away so I could listen to the records all at once. I attended ballet and theater and concerts in hundreds of cities at once. Other thousands of bodies traipsed through the art galleries, twirled with the sufis, chanted, and received communion. No one thought anything of my presence, as I incarnated myself as an ordinary-looking person within whatever culture I was visiting.

It wasn't very rewarding. Religion was useless as I knew it was wrong and that I myself was the closest thing to the God that these misguided people worshiped. Painting, sculpture, theater, dance, classical music -- none moved me. I had been experiencing them from the outside for millenia, and the pleasure I as a human felt was mediated by inferior intellect. It paled in comparison to my own fuller understanding. I had examined every sketch or doodle a human had made, heard every warble that sprang from the human voice, and seen every skip and hop.

What drew my attention was not the higher pleasures, but the lower. I had known for ages just what the differences were between making a Burgundy and a Bourdeaux. What I had not known was how that was experienced by the people drinking them.

Starting with oatmeal, hamburgers, and potato chips, I worked my way up to kalamata olives, lobster, tarragon, truffles, and prime beef -- and the countless ways the flavors can be blended. I sampled hundreds of varieties of dark chocolate, hundreds of coffees, thousands of wines. The sensations were varied and interesting. I enjoyed them a lot.

What moved me most, however, was sex.

For some reason, I was never all that comfortable in a female body. When I tried to investigate sexuality as a female, something profound didn't resonate right. Perhaps whoever made me had made me fundamentally male, and if so that was a tiny hint about my nature that my millions of years of meditation never revealed.

But male sexuality -- that was something else. I stroked my penis and it got hard, something I had observed countless billions of times. But this time I knew what it felt like inside. I felt the pleasure of each stroke, and never had imagined just how pleasurable an orgasm could be at the moment the semen spurted forth.

Countless times I had seen how men watched women and girls and the pornographic representations of them. I had seen how the men ignored their welfare and made fools of themselves in search of sex. Now I experienced firsthand the power of those urges. I masturbated to a wide variety of sexual stimuli. I climaxed watching tens of thousands of porn videos. I jerked off to the images of girls and women I had just seen in my travels. It was even easy enough for me to find places to materialize where I could see a naked girl without being observed. Watching them masturbate was very exciting. I didn't restrict myself to single individuals: I could gauge my own reaction to watching men having sex with women, men with men, women with women.

But I wanted more than watching others and pleasuring myself. I wanted to touch.

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A gentle breeze billowed the gauzy white curtain now and then, and the full moon shone through to illuminate Carol. She was the epitome of beauty. Long golden hair, blue eyes, shapely body. As she lay in bed I could see her breasts rise and fall lightly under her nightgown. She was 23 and had recently dumped her boyfriend. She thought it was a good move for her, and I agreed, knowing her values and the probable future. The bad part was that she was very horny. A good part of the relationship had been the sex, usually twice a day. Here she was, a week on, and there was no one to caress her. She fondled herself, but loneliness inhibited her and made her unable to achieve the release of orgasm. She had fallen asleep with her nightgown bunched up at her waist and her panties down. Her hand lay limp between her legs.

I started with a small, simple tweak to her brain from Godspace to keep her asleep. I sat on the bed, the weight of my body depressing the mattress. I leaned over and touched my lips to hers, and found my first kiss electrifying. My cock surged to full hardness within seconds. Her feminine nature as perceived by the body I was using resonated right back to me in Godspace. My hands were not troubled by her nightgown, because I simply ripped it by a direct intervention from Godspace, and would as simply mend the tear seamlessly when I was done. My fingers lazily glided over her silky breasts, and her nipples soon stuck out. Then I brought my hand down between her legs, gliding between smooth thighs to her hairy but soft pussy. After letting my hand luxuriate in the wetness of it all, I focused on her clit while snuggling against her and whispering in her ear. She moaned and strained in her sleep, then I felt her body convulse with the release she had been craving. I think her unconscious knew she was with a man and that it was time for the sexual release she had been unable to achieve by herself.

I was surprised at how tempted I was to mount her and thrust my cock inside her, but that would have been too much, too soon. I made the body I had created disappear and let my sexual desire slacken.

I thought all the issues through in the first second or so after that experience and reached a conclusion, but made myself wait. I had been meditating on humans for millenia -- why not take a little longer? I gave it 24 hours.

On my return I didn't just part Carol's nightgown. I simply stripped her from Godspace and gave my body free rein. I mounted her, thrust, and felt for the first time the ecstasy of a vagina enveloping my penis and offering its firm caress. I came within seconds -- filling her pussy with my sperm. The pleasure was magnificent, as was the sense of rightness -- as if this was my purpose. But what a ridiculous idea! How soon had my God nature been contaminated by the animal lust of the human male! I lay on soft Carol, taking in her feminine smell and the gentle rise of her chest. When I had had my fill I disappeared, then from Godspace I covered my tracks. I made my semen disappear, mopped up her excess moisture, and made her nightgown appear around her just as it had been before.

It felt so good and right that I made a hundred thousand bodies appear all over the world where attractive women slept alone and were hungry for sex. From skinny to fat, from large-breasted to those with flat chests, from teenagers up through a few women in their 50s, all races and stations of life: I found the pussy of each one and urgently intruded my cock to my great satisfaction. I arranged for thirty thousand of my bodies to come in one simultaneous orgasm. It felt fantastic! The bodies I had created disappeared on a varying timetable, lingering more in comfortable surroundings with the truly gorgeous. The bodies disappeared, but the longing and excitement and pleasure of consummation of each of them returned to please my God mind.

For weeks I was awash in pleasure. But I tired of making love to sleeping girls. I knew one element of the true sex act was having a girl know she was receiving a man and responding, even begging for more. I wanted to make myself known.

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Becky sat at the bar with her Michelob, eager to see who might come along. A couple of losers tried graceless opening lines, and she deftly turned them away. One of the disadvantages of being attractive was unwelcome attention, but it was outweighed by the larger pool of men she had to choose from.

The man took her breath away as soon as he entered. She tried to be open to men without paying so much attention to their physical appearance, but it was hard to avoid. He had a large bald spot on top, which is a turn off to a lot of women, but her daddy was bald. Being bald was an extra little plus to her, not a minus.

The man sat on a bar stool and ordered a brew. He scanned the crowd and his eyes rested on a few of the other attractive women before fixing on her. She looked down. Although it was involuntary, she knew it was a sign of attraction. When she looked up again she saw him sitting calmly, glancing at the ball game on the TV up over the bar. Then as she watched, he stood and looked at her as he approached slowly, with confidence.

"Hi, I'm Cliff."

"I'm Becky."

"You're very attractive," he said as he sat.

She liked that. Nothing fancy, no pretense. That was all he knew about her, and that was all he said.

She couldn't believe what came out of her mouth next: "You're pretty handsome yourself."

Cliff smiled. He realized it was an unusual comment, but he wasn't going to make her feel bad about it. "My girlfriend and I parted ways about two months ago. It's taken me a while to get over it, but here I am, my fourth day of seeing who else might be out there."

She realized that with a lot of men, the recency of his availability might be an exaggeration. But she believed Cliff.

"You want to know my basics? I've never been married, and I'm not a high-powered anything. I'm a middle manager, with three people working for me."

"Me, I'm... Single, waitress at Orlay's." If Cliff was local, he would know that the entrees at Orlay's ran around $30. "Looking for Mr. Right." She thought she'd keep it simple too.

He looked into her eyes, and while she tried to hold his gaze, she kept looking down and blushing.

"I don't know if I'm Mr. Right," he said, "but I'd like to get to know you better. I'd like to get out of here now. Is your place OK?"

"Yes," she said.

And that was all there was to it.

He was so hot and so straightforward in his talk. He was also bald. She could barely wait to get him into her panties. She knew he could sense that, and he didn't waste any time on preliminaries either.

He kissed her for maybe thirty seconds as they stood in the bedroom. His hands wandered over her back and shoulders, down her flanks and to her butt.

She broke the kiss and started working on his buttons, while he worked on hers. She raised her arms so he could take her blouse off, revealing the light blue lacy bra beneath. Although her breasts weren't especially large, most men thought they were appealing, and from his hungry smile she could tell he agreed. She helped him out of his dress shirt and T-shirt and went straight to his trousers. He unzipped her skirt and set to work rolling her pantyhose down her legs. In record time they stood facing each other with nothing on but briefs and panties. His erection was plainly visible. With a questioning look, she pulled down his briefs and knelt, looking to see if he objected. She took his cock in her mouth and used her considerable experience to get him moaning.

But within a minute he lifted her head gently and led her to the bed. They kissed, but his lips were all over the rest of her too: ears, neck, breasts, and stomach. She was a little disappointed he didn't head farther down to her pussy, but he was excellent with his fingers -- exquisite, in fact. She gave him That Look that meant she was ready, and he smiled.

"Let me get a condom," he said.

"Are you clean?" she asked. "I'm on the pill." She wasn't, but she thought he really might be Mr. Right and was eager to make this special for him.

"Yes, very clean," he said with an excited smile. With that he was on top of her, cock headed for the place she so desperately wanted it.

She steeled herself for the common problem: her pussy was kind of short, and it hurt when a guy went too deep. Would she tell him not to go in too far? She wanted it to be special for him, but there was no way around that! But as his organ slid into her deliciously she felt their pubic bones bump. He hadn't hit the back! Apparently he had a short cock to match her short pussy. But he was good and thick, which she loved.

Ordinarily she would have suggested she have some time on top, because that was how she came best, but she wasn't going to. She'd fake an orgasm if necessary, but she would do absolutely anything he wanted and make no demands of her own.

To her surprise, his rhythm and depth were perfect, and she was moved by his own sweet but intense pleasure. She lay flat on her back, barely moving, and this man was going to take her there! Her immensely pleasurable release made her gasp and seize him with strong contractions. He didn't come with her, and didn't take her orgasm as a signal to hurry up and finish himself. He slowed his rhythm and smiled at her pleasure before revving up again in earnest. What a sweet man! She then followed his hard passion, rooting for him to find it fantastic. She was waiting to squeeze his cock at just the right moment as he was almost at climax, something she had learned men love. But her own pleasure carried her urgently, and she found herself squeezing in response to her own unpredictable pleasure. He finally let go with a gigantic moan and a torrent of urgent strokes that sent her over the edge again, squeezing frantically. She had never had two orgasms during sex before, and they were mind-blowers. She faintly felt his twitches as he shot his load deep inside her -- and with no condom on, she got to keep it all! That sent a shiver of excitement through her.

They lay together in a pleasant afterglow, and after they caught their breath they chatted. She dreaded the moment he would announce he had to go; some men wouldn't spend the night. But she sensed he would, and she wasn't disappointed. After five minutes she began idly stroking his flaccid cock, and it responded. She was a little sore from their energetic first rutting, but this needed to be special for him. She asked if he wanted anything different, like maybe from the rear, and he did. He fucked her that way with equal enthusiasm. She didn't come again, but that was just fine.

She woke a number of times during the night to admire his body and his handsome face as it lay slack and vulnerable in sleep. She awoke before he did and put on the silky red nightgown she kept for special occasions, then crept quietly to the kitchen. After brewing fresh coffee she thought about what she could make him that was memorable. A mushroom and cheese omelette, she decided. She could open that jar of home-made strawberry preserves she had been saving for a year and serve it on toast. She got everything assembled and crept back to the bedroom. He opened a sleepy eye and smiled at her.

"I've got a surprise for you!" she said. "Just wait here two minutes, OK?"

"I'll be right back from the john," he said.

Becky hurried back to the kitchen, determined to make the finest omelette of her life. It was very close to it, and she eagerly took the tray in to serve him.

"This is really delicious!" he said, savoring each bite.

She sat on the bed seductively as he ate -- nothing too obvious, but some thigh and breast showed.

He handed her the tray and she saw his cock at attention. After she put the tray aside, he lay her on her back and slid his hand once up the inside of her thighs, then abruptly turned over on her and slid in to her pussy, which was not exactly dry but not too wet either. After a mere ten seconds of sharp thrusts he came, spewing his cum into her innards once more.

He pulled out and without even looking at her he started dressing. This wasn't the ending for their interlude that she had in mind, but the first part had been fantastic. Maybe his mind was on his job or something.

He took down her cell number, said, "I'll call you," and gave her an absent-minded kiss.

For days afterward, every time her cell rang her heart pounded. Days turned into weeks, and he never called. It had been just another one-night stand.

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I had known everything about Becky, of course, including her father's baldness and her appreciation for straightforward, unpretentious men. I had observed the sizes of the dozen erect cocks that had disappeared up her pussy and had noticed her problem with sensitivity when a cock bottomed out in her. I had fashioned a short, thick cock just for her. I had even seen the sorts of motion men used to make her come on those rare occasions she had while on her back.

I had made myself her perfect lover. But only for one night.

I should mention that I couldn't create a full person out of Godspace and keep him there indefinitely. I couldn't simply make millions of Mr. Rights into real people to live happily ever after. For the most part, what is created from Godspace has to come back to Godspace before too long. A couple days is the limit for something as complex as a human being.

I created tens of thousands of handsome young men to frequent bars, tailoring each man to the mark I had in mind based on knowing everything about her past. Ten percent of the time I couldn't get the girl into bed -- remember that I can't predict anyone's behavior with certainty. I showed each of the others a fantastic time. I liked being a good lover to them, and I luxuriated in my own lust so completely fulfilled.

Bars were a good source of women, but not the only one. I also made bodies to wander through small towns and rural areas. They are full of teenage girls and single young women yearning for the right man to come along.

Maria's knees grew weak following me to some bushes behind the shed. She gasped and moaned at my kisses. The lightest touch to the front of her dress at the right spot got her to ditch her panties, lie on the carpet of leaves and expose her hungry privates. I arranged through Godspace to enhance her lubrication, and within seconds I was down on her, lustfully taking her virginity. As a rule I used careful snips from Godspace to remove the obstacle of any virgin's hymen; I wanted my girls to enjoy their experience fully, even the first time.

Kate was walking in the woods and was astounded to meet the handsome stranger. Her fantasy was being ravaged and I was happy to oblige. I shoved her against the tree trunk, found her wet pussy easily enough, and as the tree trunk scraped against her back, I rammed my cock up inside her. In her case I ripped her cherry on the way in, just as she wanted. She got about 30 seconds of urgent fucking and a dose of cum. For weeks and months she wandered the woods hoping the handsome stranger would return. He never did.

Ivana let Fyodor fuck her regularly in hopes of conceiving a child. She had married him because he was the best match she had been able to find. But the mysterious stranger came to the door while Fyodor was out in the fields. She found him handsome, strong, and irresistible -- maybe she could have his baby? He looked a bit like her husband, at least. She presented her rear end while leaning over a living room chair, and was rewarded with the straight, quick shot up the cunt that she wanted.

But she would not get the baby she wanted. For the first few months, I made sure never to start any babies. I was seeking pleasure, and had no desire to create offspring.

That was until Sasha asked me flat out if I would try to make her pregnant. I considered the issue.

I ordered up bodies for all my sexual encounters, but my specification was at the level of observable characteristics: height, weight, voice quality, body shape -- and penis shape. I could create a face or for that matter a whole human off the model of an existing person. But at the microscopic level, I wasn't involved. My incarnations ejaculated, but I didn't know the details of what was in the milky fluid. Could I even make a woman pregnant? If so, what sort of DNA was it?

I decided there was no harm in trying, and Sasha conceived my child. I quickly learned that that much was possible. Thousands of other women asked for it, but I only tried with forty or so, and I only fathered a dozen children, waiting to see how I would feel as they grew up.

Months went by. I never sleep, of course, and as the sun circles the globe there are always time zones with evenings and mornings and the dead of night. A hundred thousand seductions a day ended with a hundred thousand ejaculations, and a hundred thousand orgasmic bliss states accrued back to me.

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A single experience with any particular girl was plenty for me -- or if I wanted a girl a second time, I appeared as a totally different man. I didn't want to get emotionally involved. Once I had what I wanted from a girl, I didn't care what happened to her.

Missy was a girl I took home from the bar one night, a particularly beautiful and vulnerable 20-year-old who was an especially satisfying sexual partner. A week after our interlude she was brutally raped. I had been observing rapes for thousands of years, and in the modern age there were millions each day. I watched her rapist spit on her and slap her, then I watched as terrified Missy took it up the cunt. A normal occurrence, and hundreds of thousands of times each day people treated each other far worse. But a little something stirred. I felt a little compassion, and a momentary surge of anger against the rapist. This was ridiculous! I had observed countless tortures and massacres, why would I care about one girl? It was just part of life!

But I did. And I noticed this same stirring of compassion when misfortune befell a few of my other partners as well. I felt the urge to intervene.

Missy's situation kept coming back to me. Something as simple as a severe pain in the foot would have steered Missy's rapist away from her and kept her safe, but I began to dream of more than prevention. I dreamt of slowly crushing his balls as he died of thirst, chained to his bed. Where was that coming from?

To make it totally ridiculous, I even began feeling sorry for all the bar girls whose hearts I had broken.

I gave up sex completely and reflected on my situation for several days.

I was thoroughly submerged in the human pleasure of sex. That in itself was a dangerous slide from Godhood to groveling in the mud of the human experience. But I had not been satisfied with my own orgasm -- I wanted conscious partners who enjoyed my attentions. Now I was showing the first signs of emotional involvement, wanting to protect the women I had screwed. The evolutionary basis of this in human men was clear enough -- it was worth a little effort on the man's part to protect the baby she might be carrying as a result of their union. But I was not a human!

Where could this lead? I could resolve not to intervene, and become increasingly troubled as the tragedies of life befell my girls. I could protect them from rape and auto accidents without disturbing the world too much. But what about chronic diseases? Miserable, cheating boyfriends? Poverty? Aging and death? That way lay madness.

But the other option was to give up the sex, and that was unthinkable.

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"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

"And what are your sins?"

"I have committed 23,404,771 acts of sexual intercourse outside the bond of holy matrimony."

Nah, as I played that scenario out in my mind it was obvious that was never going to work. I'll try going Protestant, I thought. That one I followed through with:

"Reverend, I am not known to you, but I wonder if you could offer me some spiritual guidance."

"Come in to my study and let's talk... So what can I do for you?"

"I have been hardhearted through most of my life. And then I have had numerous affairs with women. They have all been consensual, mind you, but I know I have misled some of them and not acted as honorably as I could have. However, I now find that my heart melts for one of them." One -- keep it simple and believable. "I feel true compassion for her and want to ease her way as she goes on in life. I can do this, but if I remove all challenges from her future, am I doing her a favor? And what if some of the things I do end up having a negative effect on other people?"

"What sort of help are you considering giving her?"

I had many options, but figured I ought to pick something remotely believable. "I could give her $2,000,000. Or help her get that job she wants. But if I do, then someone else won't be getting that job, and the money can't go to help someone else instead."

"You say you may have not been honest with her. Would she like to marry you? Would that be a more natural alternative?"

"No... that wouldn't be possible."

"Well, OK. Those other favors you suggest sound very generous. As to the other people who could have benefited, I encourage you not to worry about it. We have to live our lives on a human scale. Figuring out the very best way to spend our money to do the most good in the world is a task beyond most of us, and even if we do it we will be tormented by uncertainty. If you have this one girl who needs your help, it is honorable to give her the money and not just spend it on some luxury for yourself."

"That's very helpful, Reverend. Thank you for your time."

"You're welcome."

Of course that didn't get at the real problem.

I wrote a letter with a fountain pen:

"Dear Father, Mother, or Whoever, You have made me God of Earth, but you have not told me how to figure out what to do. First I just observed, hoping that my purpose would come to me. Recently I decided to experience life as humans do, and have become very interested -- nearly obsessed -- with sex. Now I feel my objectivity slipping, and my desire to reduce suffering and evil among these humans. While each act would be good taken in isolation, the overall effect will be to create an insipid, uninteresting world. Please help me! Please? Sincerely, God"

I reconciled my sexual hunger with my profound doubts about easing suffering with a muddled middle course. I stopped girls from dying in car crashes and kept them from being murdered and raped. To avoid future anxiety and tough choices, I didn't approach those who were in difficult situations already, such as suffering violence at the hands of their husbands. Then I reduced the pain of broken hearts by restricting my attention to girls who truly wanted only one-night stands.

I was getting a great deal of sex, but another element of dissatisfaction arose. I was known to these girls and women, but I was in disguise. I wanted them to know me as I was, as God. Even if I was unlike their God in some important respects, I wanted them to know me.

End of Part 1

Part 1     Part 2    Part 3


(first posted 10/21/10)



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