“Sorry to interrupt, guys,” Kaija apologized with Admirable nonchalance. “But I’m looking for my friend. About my height with mousy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail?”

The amorous duo separated and shrugged. “Haven’t seen her,” they responded in unison.

“Sorry,” Erica added, a little breathless.

“No problem. Hmm, I wonder where she went…” Kaija wondered aloud. “Oh well, she’ll turn up sooner or later I’m sure. Catch ya later!” Kaija smiled as she left the room.

Allison breathed a mini sigh of relief. That was one obstacle out of the way. One down, one to go… She stepped off of the rim of the stool as quietly as possible and started watching the girls again. At the same time, she said a silent prayer that Mandy and Erica wouldn’t pick up where they left off when Kaija interrupted them. Allison couldn’t take being cooped up in the small stall much longer.

Mandy stepped toward Erica, her mood apparently unaffected by the break in the action. As Mandy leaned in for a kiss, Erica turned her head away. “Let’s continue this when we get home,” she suggested with a smile and a wink. Mandy looked disappointed at being put off, but she followed Erica out the door anyway.

Allison blew out a puff of air that sent stray wisps of hair whirling around her face. Her relief was almost indescribable. She waited a few moments to make sure Erica and Mandy were truly gone, and then she opened the stall door tentatively. Looking both ways to make sure the coast was clear, Allison walked over to the sink to splash some cool water on her face. Seeing her reflection in the mirror, she decided her hair needed touching up before she could return to her friends.

She yanked the elastic band out of her hair and began brushing the long brown strands. The feel of the brush on her tense scalp was wonderfully relaxing. And after the scene she had just witnessed, Allison needed all of the relaxation she could get!

Allison was so preoccupied with her hair that she didn’t hear the restroom door open.

“Wow, your hair is beautiful!” Allison jumped at Kaija’s words. “How come you don’t wear it down more often?” she asked, taking a seat on the counter.

Tucking the hairbrush back into her purse, Allison shrugged. “I don’t know.” She grabbed a fist full of hair, picked up the elastic band on the counter and stuck it in her mouth. Kaija watched as Allison worked her hair into a tight, smooth ponytail.

“Where were you anyways? I was in here looking for you earlier…”

That deer in the headlights look flashed across Allison’s face. She hadn’t planned on Kaija questioning her about her whereabouts. Allison looked down at her shoes as she formulated a makeshift answer to the question. After a few moments, she mumbled something about stepping outside for some fresh air.

“You feelin’ okay?” Kaija asked with a concerned look in her eyes.

Allison grinned. “Yeah, I just got a little warm from all that dancing. It was sure fun though. Thanks for inviting me to come along.”

“Any time, roomie,” Kaija smiled back. “We’d better get back to Barc before he starts worrying about the both of us disappearing!”

The girls joined Barclay at their table as the driving beat of the music thumped through every bone in their slender bodies. “So there you are, Ally-gator!!” Barc shouted over the table. “Wanna dance?” he asked, holding out his hand to Allison.

The fact that Kaija didn’t seem upset by Barc’s offer only reaffirmed Allison’s belief that she was truly undesirable. “Sure thing, handsome,” she returned. After all, if she were undesirable, why shouldn’t she have some fun? Obviously nothing she could say or do would put her in any danger, so she decided to be playful and carefree when interacting with others. It was sure a lot more fun that being a stuffy stick in the mud, she decided.

Barc’s hands were gentle, yet his arms were strong and protective as they wrapped around her. Allison was so thrilled to be asked to dance that she hadn’t noticed it was a slow song. Barclay pulled her close and turned her head so that it fit perfectly between his neck and shoulder.

For that few minutes, Allison felt immensely special; like she finally belonged to someone. But, she reminded herself, Barc belonged to Kaija. Her roommate. Her friend. Her eyes stung as she fought back the tears while Barc led her back to the table. For a brief moment, Allison had gotten a glimpse of what every other woman in the world must feel when she’s in love. And somehow that made Allison’s situation even more tragic in her eyes. She hadn’t wanted a man’s love before. Not until she met Barclay, a man she couldn’t have, and a man who probably wouldn’t be interested in her anyway.

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It was after two o’clock in the morning when Allison and Kaija returned to their dorm room. The girls were so tired out, they couldn’t get into their nightshirts fast enough. Within fifteen minutes, their teeth were brushed, their nightshirts were put on, and they were snug in their beds when Allison reached up to turn off the lamp attached to the headboard of her bed.

The sound of blankets shifting and people tossing and turning in their beds filled the dark room. Suddenly, Kaija’s voice pierced the relative silence.

“Allison, you weren’t really outside when you disappeared tonight, were you.” Kaija’s words were more of an accusation than a question.

There was something about the darkness of the room that made it impossible for Allison to lie to her friend. After a brief pause, her quiet voice muttered, “No, I wasn’t.” She was certain Kaija would put two and two together. Luckily, the room was dark so Allison’s red face wouldn’t be so obvious!

Kaija giggled. “I didn’t think so. You were acting a little skittish after we found you. Could it have had something to do with what you saw in the bathroom?”

Allison froze, not sure what to say. “What do you mean ‘what I saw in the bathroom’?” she asked lamely. Then in classic Allison form, she added, “What did you think I was doing, peeking at people under the stall doors or something?” She laughed awkwardly.

“No, silly, but I bet those two girls gave you quite a show!” Allison remained quiet. “What I can’t figure out is why I didn’t see you when I looked under the stalls for your feet.”

Well, well, it looked like there was no way out now! Allison cleared her throat as she gathered her thoughts. Biting her lower lip with nervousness, she decided it was best to just get it over with as quickly as possible. “You were right, Kaija. I was in the bathroom. And yes, the women did give me an unforgettable show.”

“Why didn’t I see you then? Or more to the point, why didn’t you answer me when I called for you?”

Allison pulled the covers up around her neck as she readied herself for the big confession. “It’s kinda complicated. I was scared.”

“Of what?” Kaija asked, trying not to laugh. “Of seeing two women make out?” Allison didn’t respond. “Well you’d better get used to it because it happens a lot on this campus.”

“It wasn’t the making out that scared me,” she admitted. “It was the fact that I was in the room while they did it that bothered me. I thought I recognized their voices, so I peeked through the crack of the stall door. Sure enough, it was a couple of girls I met in honors creative writing.”

“Figures,” Kaija snickered, remembering good ol’ Professor Salinger’s reputation for assembling sexually liberal classes.

“Shut up!” Allison retorted, adding a laugh of her own. “Anyway, by the time I figured out who they were, they had started to make out. After that much time had passed, I couldn’t just flush the toilet and wander out! So I stayed quiet and hoped they’d finish their business quickly.”

“So you were still in there when I came looking for you?”

“Yes,” Allison responded in a near whisper.

“Okay, you explained why you didn’t want to leave the room when all that was going on. It makes perfect sense to me. But why didn’t I see you? Where in the world were you hiding?”

Kaija was no dummy. She’d figure it out sooner or later. “Uh, I was standing on the edge of the toilet,” Allison said sheepishly.

“You were WHAT?” The last word was almost a shout.

“Shh,” Allison said, “the whole world doesn’t need to know!”

Kaija started laughing at the image of Allison standing on the toilet. The soft laughter soon escalated to belly rumbling, tear-making cackles. It was positively infectious! Allison had to admit the whole thing was pretty funny. It wasn’t long before she found herself laughing hysterically, too.

When the laughter and tears subsided, Allison heard Kaija jump out of her bed. A few seconds later, she felt Kaija sit down on the edge of her bed. “So what did you think about what you saw?” Kaija asked in a whisper. When Allison didn’t answer the question, Kaija added, “Did it gross you out? Turn you on? What?”

Interesting question, Allison thought. She honestly wasn’t sure. “I don’t know…” she answered, replaying the scene in her head.

“Don’t get mad at me,” Kaija said,” but I was thinking since you’re Catholic, the thought of being with a girl might actually be less scary than being with a guy. You know, the whole fear of pregnancy thing…”

She had a point. You couldn’t get pregnant fooling around with another girl! Allison grinned at the logic. But did seeing the two women turn her on? Who knows? Allison suspected she wouldn’t know she was turned on even if someone told her she was!

“I really don’t know, Kaija. You know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t recognize being turned on if it bit me in the behind!”

“Allison, sweet Allison…you really need to loosen up!” Kaija said patting her on the back.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Have you ever even kissed a guy?”

“You really have to ask?” Allison was trying her best to maintain a sense of humor.

“Okay then, have you ever kissed a girl?”

“Kaija!” The question startled Allison. The thought had never occurred to her. The whole concept of girl-girl was totally foreign to her until this evening, and she honestly wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Oddly enough, her reactions weren’t particularly strong one way or another.

“So what would you do if a guy tried to kiss you?”

Allison rubbed her sleepy face with her hands. “Run the other way?” She giggled. “Seriously, I’ve never thought about that because I know it’ll never happen.”

“What makes you so sure of that?” Kaija was a bit annoyed with her friend’s lack of confidence.

“I just know. For example, you’re gorgeous and sexy, plus you know how to relax around guys. Me? My straight mousy brown hair is scraped back against my head, and I freeze in terror whenever I’m around a guy.”

“That’s not true,” Kaija disputed. “You seem fine around Barclay.”

“Ah, that’s because he’s taken, therefore non-threatening.”

“Give me a break!”

“Kaija, most women would be threatened if their boyfriend asked another woman to dance. Yet when Barclay asked me earlier tonight, it didn’t even faze you. You were totally unconcerned.” The sting of tears threatened to overcome her once more.

“And you think I wasn’t worried because nobody’d ever want you?” Kaija gasped at Allison’s lack of confidence. She saw Allison’s silhouette nod. “That’s SO not true! You’re kind, sweet, caring, smart…I could go on forever!”

“Maybe, but I’m not beautiful. That’s what guys want. People like me spend their lives all alone.” A few of the tears slipped out, and Kaija could hear Allison sniffle.

Kaija reached over and pulled Allison into a hug. “God, that’s so far from the truth it isn’t even funny!” Allison’s tears flowed freely as Kaija rubbed her back to soothe her. “Let it all out, Ally…” Kaija whispered. “That’s it…” After several minutes of sobbing, Allison finally quieted down. “Why don’t you get some rest; you have to be exhausted,” Kaija suggested.

She pulled away to tuck Allison into bed, and then impulsively decided to give her friend a kiss on the cheek, a gesture that would hopefully help Allison see that she was indeed worthy of being loved.

As Kaija leaned over to kiss Allison’s cheek, Allison turned her head to say something to Kaija. Their lips ended up touching. Instead of pulling away in panic, it was as if time had frozen.

After several seconds, Kaija tentatively ran her tongue along Allison’s lips. Much to Kaija’s surprise, Allison didn’t pull away. If anything, her lips parted ever so slightly, giving Kaija better access. Kaija’s tongue eased into Allison’s mouth, coaxing her tongue to join in the dance. Allison’s arms wrapped around Kaija’s neck as the kisses grew more urgent.

When Kaija’s hand made contact with Allison’s breast, it was as if someone had flipped a switch. Allison pulled back with a start. “Stop, we can’t do this!”

Kaija stopped immediately, apologizing at the same time. “I’m sorry, Allison. I don’t exactly know what happened there.”  

“Let’s just forget about it and go to sleep,” Allison suggested.

Both girls lie awake in bed for several more hours wondering if they really could forget about what had happened between them.

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The sound of the phone ringing around ten in the morning yanked Allison from a deep sleep. She reached over to the little table and picked up the receiver. “Hello,” she greeted groggily.

“Hey, sexy, wanna meet for breakfast?” It was Barclay, and obviously he couldn’t tell that the sleepy voice at the other end of the line belonged to Allison, not Kaija. 

“Hi. Barc,” Allison yawned. This is Allison. Sexy’s still asleep.”

“No I’m not!” Kaija protested, jumping off her bed with lightning speed. She grabbed the phone out of Allison’s hand, and within seconds had agreed to meet her man at the dining commons for brunch. Allison was lounging on her bed when Kaija finally hung up. “Get off your tush, Allison,” Kaija ordered. “You’re coming, too!”

Ordinarily Allison would have resisted being pushed around like that, but the fact was she was feeling awfully hungry anyway. A nice warm meal would hit the spot.

The girls showered and threw some clothes on, and then made their way to the dining commons. Barclay was waiting for them right inside the door. “Good morning, ladies,” he greeted with a smile.

The trio went through the cafeteria line gathering all sorts of fruits, vegetables, and other assorted goodies. They each poured a glass of milk and found a table for four in the dining area. The dining commons was definitely a bit deserted on Saturday mornings, but it was nice eating in quiet surroundings for once.

Barclay looked the girls over as they placed their napkins in their laps. “Boy, you guys are looking pretty tough this morning,” he observed. “Was last night too much for you?” he teased.

“No way, it was fun!” Allison smiled as she lifted the glass of milk to her lips.

Kaija echoed her enthusiasm over their evening at the club.

“Then why do you ladies look so out of it? Did you go home last night and get it on without me or something?” he winked.

The milk that was in Allison’s mouth shot out of her nose with a snort, leaving droplets of milk on her tray and in her food. Kaija covered her mouth to suppress a giggle while Barclay stared at Allison, her nose still dripping with milk. Allison wiped her nose frantically with her napkin as Barclay continued to stare.

“You okay, Ally-gator? Your face is awfully red…”

Yeah, Allison would bet it was. However this time it could have had as much to do with the milk shooting from her nose as it did from embarrassment.

“Come on, you don’t mean to tell me you actually did get it on last night, do you?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.  

Barclay was still joking around, but Allison felt the rush of heat that went along with extreme embarrassment. In response, she started coughing uncontrollably from the tickle of the milk running down her throat.

“Sorry, guys,” she gasped between coughs.” Something in my throat… I need to go…” She ran out of the dining area, leaving her tray for Kaija and Barclay to take care of.

NEXT CHAPTER...