Campus Capers:
ENGL 369 Creative Writing
Mortified didn’t even begin to describe Allison’s feelings as she ran out of the dining commons. In fact, on her way back to the dorm, she vowed not to leave her room for the rest of the weekend. Yeah it may have sounded a bit harsh, but she really needed to work on her assignment for Professor Salinger anyway. Allison had just gotten settled at her desk when she heard Kaija’s key in the door. “Hiya, roomie!” she greeted cheerfully. Apparently Kaija was unaffected by whatever happened between them last night. Allison only wished she could be as indifferent about the whole thing. “Hard at work already I see,” Kaija observed as she grabbed one of her textbooks and hopped onto her bed. “Yep,” Allison sighed. “I’ve gotta kick some serious butt on this writing assignment for Salinger, or I’m dog meat. So where’s Barc?” she asked, sticking the top of her pen in her mouth to nibble on its cap. Kaija flipped through the pages of her book until she located the chapter she was searching for. “Oh, I sent him off on his own. I figured you weren’t too keen on having company today.” “Sorry,” Allison muttered. “I didn’t realize I was that much of a grouch…” “You aren’t.” Kaija laughed as she gave her roommate one of those you’re-a-knucklehead looks. “Besides, Barc and I have plans for later tonight. But I figured I’d better get at least some school work done this weekend.” Allison admired Kaija’s carefree spirit. The girl just exuded confidence and grace with seemingly little effort. She seemed to take life in stride. Knew how to roll with the punches and live life to its fullest. It was easy to see what Barclay found appealing about her, and the appeal clearly went deeper than Kaija’s looks, though she was no slouch there, either. If Kaija weren’t so darn nice, Allison could easily find herself hating her. She was pretty, smart, had a wonderful personality, and on top of all that, she was sensitive toward others. This afternoon was perfect proof in point. Kaija could have easily tormented Allison about the embarrassing scene at the dining commons, but she never even brought it up. Not once. Now that was the true sign of friendship, Allison thought with a happy smile. The girls spent the remainder of the afternoon on their homework and class assignments. Kaija managed to get just about everything done, but Allison was struggling with her story a bit. “Girlfriend, you need a break,” Kaija ordered, slapping Allison playfully on the back. She walked over to the tiny fridge and pulled out a Coke for herself, and a Diet Coke for Allison. “Come on over here,” Kaija said, taking a seat on Allison’s bed. “We need to talk.” Panic caused Allison’s breathing to stop temporarily as a jolt of terror flew through her body. Please, oh please, let this not be about last night, Allison thought as she worried her lower lip. “C’mon, Allison,” Kaija persisted, patting the bed next to her. A huge lump formed in Allison’s throat as her mind raced with all sorts of weird visions about what might happen next. “I think you’ll like this idea,” Kaija added, which quickly put Allison’s mind at ease. She closed her notebook with a sigh and joined Kaija on her bed. “So whatcha thinkin’?” Allison asked, popping the tab on her can of Diet Coke. “Remember how you said you felt undesirable to men? You didn’t like your hair and all that?” Allison nodded. “Well I got to thinking…what would happen if I gave you a total makeover? Change everything from your hair down to your wardrobe. And since we’re almost the same size, you could start out with my clothes until you were ready to buy your own. What do you think?” Allison thought about it a bit and then broke into a smile. “You know, that idea really has some potential!” A tinge of excitement colored her words. “Great,” Kaija returned, clapping her hands. “Let’s make an evening of it. We’ll get everything we need at the mall, pick up some chef salads to go at Luigi’s, and then come back here and hang out. It’ll be great fun, just you wait and see!” For once, Allison actually believed it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The mall didn’t seem quite as crowded as Allison would have expected for a weekend night. Sure, the traffic was brisk, but nothing like the malls even back in Iowa. Of course there wasn’t much else to do back there, she thought, grinning. “Look at that nightgown!” Kaija gasped, grabbing Allison’s hand and leading her to the window of Victoria’s Secret. The window was lined with scantily clad mannequins, but Kaija had her eye on one in particular—a blue-eyed blonde wearing a flouncy knee-length sky blue gown with peach flowers and forest green stems. “Can we go inside? Please? Just for a minute?” Kaija’s eyes begged her like an excited puppy looking for a treat. How could she refuse? The girls browsed through the perfume fragranced store, imagining themselves in a number of the beautiful outfits. Then Kaija spotted him—a middle aged man looking through a rack of lingerie by himself. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was up to. The man was obviously on a quest to find something nice for that special someone in his life. Being the kind-hearted girl she was, Kaija couldn’t resist offering him her help. “Hello, sir, my name is Kaija. May I help you this evening?” If Allison didn’t know better, she’d swear Kaija were a Victoria’s Secret employee! The gentleman smiled, looking a little self conscious. He cleared his throat nervously before speaking. “Hi, I’m Bill Thornton. I’m here to pick up a little something for my wife. It’s our tenth anniversary tomorrow.” Kaija smiled. “I’d be more than happy to help you out. Can you tell me a little about your wife? What colors does she like? Give me a feel for her body shape and size…” Bill looked at Kaija and squinted. “I know you’re gonna think I’m puttin’ you on, but she’s about your size. Really.” Nodding, Kaija asked, “So what kind of lingerie are you looking for? Something sexy, playful, or utilitarian?” Bill gave her a strange look at the use of the last word. “You know, something comfy and functional as opposed to jaw dropping,” she elaborated. Bill nodded. By that point, a small group of Victoria’s Secret staff members gathered around Kaija and Bill taking the whole thing in. Obviously they weren’t too upset with what Kaija was doing as they simply watched her rather than try to shoo her out of the store. “To be honest with you, I haven’t really thought about it,” Bill admitted sheepishly. “Not to worry,” Kaija soothed. “I know just the thing to do. Have a seat right here, sir,” she said, leading him to a chair just outside the dressing rooms. Kaija ran around the store gathering a variety of garments. “Wait right there, Mr. Thornton,” she said, opening one of the dressing room doors. “I’ll be back in a sec.” And so she was. Kaija emerged from the dressing room wearing a foamy black peignoir set. “Can you see that special lady in this?” she asked, staring Bill directly in the eye before spinning around and modeling the ensemble. He contorted his face noncommittally. “I don’t think so. It’s a bit too, uh, black,” he responded. It sounded like a dumb thing to say, but for the life of him he couldn’t find a better word to use in expressing himself. “Okay, we’ll eliminate everything black,” Kaija said simply. The store employees looked at one another, impressed by the sales pitch they were witnessing. Kaija popped into the dressing room and returned a few moments later wearing a delicate rose colored tap set. Again, she spun around, modeling the outfit for Bill who looked on appreciatively. “How about this one?” she asked, leaning over to give him a good view of her cleavage as she spoke. “It’s uh, uh, really cute,” Bill stammered, “but don’t you think it’d be too youthful for someone my wife’s age?” Kaija clicked her tongue. “Now Bill, you make it sound like you’re ancient!” she scolded playfully. “Let me tell you,” she winked, “you’re far from it!” Bill beamed at her attention, and the staff members looked at one another in awe. “But if that’s how you feel, we’ll try something a little different.” Allison was totally dumbfounded by Kaija’s confidence and courage. She was truly amazing with people! Allison didn’t doubt in the least that Kaija would fulfill her dream of becoming a rock star one day. And maybe, just maybe, a little of that confidence and courage would rub off on her. A girl could always hope… Kaija returned, this time sporting a ruby red teddy. Bill’s eyes lit up at the sight of it, and naturally Kaija noticed instantly. “You like?” she smiled. Bill wore a giddy college kid grin. “Oh, I like very much,” he said, wide eyed and smiling. “I do believe we’ve found a winner!” Kaija called out. She turned to the group of staff members and said, “Ladies, pull this in a size 8 and pack it up for Mr. Thornton, please.” The women obediently did as they were told, even though Kaija was merely a customer herself. “ What was that all about?” Allison whispered into Kaija’s ear. Kaija giggled. “Oh, I just like to have fun once in awhile. Besides, it makes the older guys feel good to get that kind of attention from a younger woman. And I love trying on lingerie, so it’s a win-win situation.” Allison laughed at the thought of Kaija calling Bill Thornton old. After all, the poor guy was probably only in his late thirties or early forties! “We’ve got a lot to do,” Kaija said, absently twisting her body back and forth to make the teddy spin around her. “Let me change back into my real clothes, and we’ll be on our way.” Bill Thornton went up to the counter to pay for his gift while Allison took his seat and waited for Kaija. She looked around the store, shocked at the skimpy styles that surrounded her. Not in a million years could she ever imagine herself wearing garments like that! They were truly for the beautiful people of the world, not ordinary to homely girls like Allison… “Next stop, the drug store,” Kaija said, exiting the dressing room as the held the ruby teddy by its hanger. The girls headed down the hall, gazing into store windows as they walked. The drug store was just past the movie theater, which reeked of buttery popcorn. It was enough to make their mouths water, but they pressed on just the same. As they entered the drug store, Kaija led the way to the hair color aisle. Allison’s eyes widened in horror as she looked at boxes of fire engine red and platinum blonde hair color kits. With a stern look, she started shaking her head. “Huh-uh. No way. Absolutely not!” she protested. Kaija tilted her head in that irresistible way of hers. “I’m not talking anything radical,” Kaija confirmed. “Just something to add a little life to your hair, that’s all.” She picked up a box of light golden brown hair color. “Take this color for example. It’ll lighten your hair a shade or two and replace the mousy grays with rich, warm, gold tones. You’ll love it, just you wait and see!” Allison tossed the box into the small shopping basket she had picked up at the door of the store. Next, Kaija eyed some overpriced scissors. “You know,” Allison began, “you could get a much better deal on scissors in the school supply aisle, especially this time of year.” “These aren’t scissors, you bozo. They’re sheers for cutting hair nice and straight. You’ll be amazed at how different a few snips of the sheers make you look!” The mere thought of Kaija cutting her hair was terrifying, but she had to go along with the game. At least for now… In the next aisle, Kaija pulled two tubes of makeup off of hooks on the wall and held them up to Allison’s cheeks. Allison cleared her throat. “Okay, I have to ask. Why in the world are you holding lipstick up to my face when it really goes on my lips?” Kaija looked at her like she had three heads, and then burst into hysterical laughter. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held her aching stomach. “Oh, God, you’re so funny, Allison! You should let loose more often!” But Allison wasn’t laughing. She was serious. Seeing this, Kaija’s jaw dropped. “Please tell me you’re kidding,” she almost pleaded. With a shrug, Allison responded, “But I’m not.” Kaija rubbed her face in frustration and rolled her eyes. “Haven’t you ever heard of concealer?” Her question was met with a blank stare. Grabbing Allison by the shoulders, she pushed her down the aisle to a mirror that hung roughly eye level. “See those black circles under your eyes that make you look like Ricky Raccoon?” Allison nodded. “That’s due to thin skin, and boy does it make a girl look old and tired! Concealer covers that up and makes your skin look good as new.” She accented her comment with the A-okay sign. “But you have to make sure it matches the shade of your skin. If you don’t you could look even worse with it than without it.” Sounded like too much work to Allison, but she decided to give it a try. “Ah, now we need blush…” Allison giggled. “ Now what’s so funny?” “Oh, I was just thinking that I don’t need it given how many times I seem to be embarrassing myself lately!” The girls laughed, and then continued gathering beauty supplies for the Big Makeover. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Two hours later, the girls entered their building lugging plastic bags on their bluing fingers, and balancing their chef salads precariously on their palms as they made their way to their room. Kaija laid out the game plan for the makeover as they ate their salads. They had a long night ahead of them, but if even only half of the ‘fixes’ worked, Allison would look like a queen when they were done. “Okay, miss, hit the showers!” Kaija commanded when they finished eating. “Wet your hair, but don’t shampoo it. The coloring chemicals need your scalp’s natural oils to do their job properly.” Allison grabbed a towel and her shower caddy. “Wait,” Kaija said, stopping her before she left the room. “Take your ickiest towel and grungiest t-shirt with you. This could get messy,” she explained with a devilish grin. Allison did as she was told, and then headed for the shower. When she was done showering, she stepped into the dressing area of the stall and slipped on her t-shirt. “You presentable?” Kaija called from outside the door. “Sure am,” Allison responded, letting her roommate into the stall. “Great.” Kaija proceeded to pour the coloring chemicals into the plastic squirt bottle. She shook the liquid violently, and then snipped off the tip of the plastic spout. “Okay, cover your eyes with the towel. I’m gonna pour this stuff onto your hair.” Kaija donned a pair of clear plastic gloves and then began massaging the color into Allison’s hair. The chemicals warmed on Allison’s scalp as they began to work their magic. “Eewwww,” Allison said, wrinkling her nose at the offending smell of the liquid going into her hair. “That stuff’s nasty !” Shrugging, Kaija giggled. “Ah, beauty has its price…” she said. “I’m beginning to think it’s too expensive,” Allison said, breathing through her mouth to keep her nose from doing its thing. “Come on, be a sport…” Allison rolled her eyes and let Kaija finish distributing the smelly goop into her hair. When they were done, the two girls went back to their dorm room. After all, who wanted to stand around in a cramped shower stall for 20 minutes waiting for the color to take hold? Back in the room, Kaija decided to make use of the window of time. To perk up Allison’s skin, she decided to apply a beauty mask to her face. Kaija rubbed the greasy green cream onto Allison’s face. Allison cringed at the sight of herself in the mirror. Her hair was soaked in foamy, smelly liquid and piled loosely on top of her head, and her face was a disgusting shade of green from the mask. “Hey, Kaija, you’ve gotta see this!” The shout came from down the hall. It was one of their floor mates who had apparently seem something of interest to her on TV. “Be back in a jiff,” Kaija said, wiping her creamy green hands on a paper towel. Before Allison could say a word, her roommate was running down the hall. Allison thumbed through one of Kaija’s beauty magazines as she waited for the 20 minutes to end. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “The door’s not locked, Kaija,” she groaned. “Why are you knocking?” A second knock came. “Just a minute…” Allison grumbled. She tossed the magazine onto the desk in frustration and shuffled to the door. Yanking the door open, she was faced by none other than Barclay! Seeing him made her remember Kaija’s prior commitment for the evening. But his gorgeous eyes made her forget her own foamy hair and green face…until he made an unusual face… Barclay looked at Allison awkwardly as her hands flew up to her face and came down green. The mask! Then she smelled the hair color. Oh God! She let out a blood curdling scream and slammed the door on him. A few seconds later, she heard someone run down the hall. Had to be Kaija she concluded when she heard giggles in the hallway just outside the door. Allison fell back against the door, knowing that the only thing keeping her face from turning fire engine red was the green cream smeared all over her face. |
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