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The January 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards

The January 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Nominees.

Til Death Do Us Part by Mike Kimera

LIGHT DUTY Part 1 ~ Part 2 by Al Steiner

Lucky by iambe

Footloose Females by Graphic Text

Politics Of Control by Nick Scipio

Fallen Angel by Jay Lance

My Least Favorite Aunt by TooMuchTime

Nine Minutes by Terri Madison

Curtain Drawn by Alexis Siefert

Inappropriate Behavior by #6

Scratch my itch by John Michaels

S'mores by Souvie

Island Paradise: Eternity by HighlanderJM

The January 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Finalists.

Footloose Females by Graphic Text

Lucky by iambe

Nine Minutes by Terri Madison

Politics Of Control by Nick Scipio

Scratch my itch by John Michaels

S'mores by Souvie

The January 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation

The crowd in La Taverna was fairly thin, for a change. Maybe because it was Sunday. Maybe because it was a long weekend, that started with Valentine's Day evening and ended after President's Day. (Lots of research going on for erotic stories, no?) Maybe because it was early afternoon. Maybe because bizarre weather patterns took Alaska's snow and dumped it all in the eastern U.S.

Maybe. Maybe not. Only a fraction of the patrons inhabit the eastern U.S., or even the northern hemisphere. Only a fraction observe U.S. holidays. No matter. The place would fill up soon enough.

Gary slouched in a chair by the fire, letting the heat soak into his bones. He decided he wanted to be here just for the warmth, even if he hadn't had a Silver Clitorides Award presentation to make. It was for sure warmer than the stupid heat pump could make his home. (Do NOT ask him about "heat pumps." He'll rant your ear off.) Today, he envied the Aussies and Enzies and Afrikaaners, enjoying their midsummer heat.

Gary looked at his Muse's Sockpuppet. He looked so forlorn, just lying... laying... screw it, he was all balled up. Gary's Muse was taking the rest of the weekend off. She thought she deserved it, having worked her butt off all week. Gary missed her warmth as well.

"So, Sockpuppet," Gary said, "what say we order a couple of brews, invite some ladies over, and work up an award presentation?"

No answer. Sockpuppet seemed empty, limp.

Gary was undeterred. "We can talk about the enormous volume of the voting, unusual for this time of year."

No reply.

"We could compliment the authors on the quality of the nominees and finalists."

Nothing.

Gary made a last-ditch attempt to perk up his friend. "We could talk about story codes and copyright."

Sockpuppet had had enough. "I'll be darned if we will!" His button eyes gleamed. He seemed more animated than he'd been all day.

"Muse! You're back!" Gary cried.

She sighed. "I can't leave you two alone for a minute, can I." It wasn't a question. "This is the most pathetic excuse for a presentation I've ever read!"

Muse snapped her fingers. La Taverna began to rock to the beat of a live band. Where before, a sprinkling of patrons occupied scattered tables, it was now SRO. A redheaded streaker dashed across the stage, allowing the audience to admire an interesting pattern drawn in calomine lotion from freckle to freckle - if those *were* freckles...

"The band is about to take a break. Get up there and do your thing."

Gary picked up two statuettes and two certificates, suitable for framing, and approached the microphone.

"Without preamble, I'd like to announce that the winners of the Silver Clitorides Awards for the best stories of January, 2003 are: Lucky by iambe and S'mores by Souvie.

"Congratulations, Souvie! Congratulations, iambe! And congratulations and well done to all the nominees and finalists!"

Gary returned to his seat while the crowd clapped and cheered the winners. His Muse smiled, and said, "So, tell me all about heat pumps..."

The January 2003 Silver Clitorides Awards Winners:

Lucky by iambe S'mores by Souvie

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