Return To the Celestial Review (This does NOT open a new window) Return To the Index (This does NOT open a new window) Note, to make reading multi-part stories easier, story links (links with dejanews.com or www.qz.to, NOT the review or profile links) will open up a new browser window. When you are done reading the story, or section of the story simply CLOSE the story window.

"Frustration" by Phil (tantalizing storytelling) 10, 10, 10 {Not Archived} "Frustration" by Phil (no further information available). The narrator is a painter who is enlisted as a confidante for a newlywed lass who was a virgin on the night she married a bloke whose Whopper was a lot bigger than the ordinary Big Mac. In fact, her initial payment of the marriage debt has rendered her a bit bowlegged. She has no lady friends yet in this part of the country and hubby is away seeking employment in the big city; and so she shares her thoughts and feelings with the painter, who functions as a na•ve but effective Rogerian counselor. That is, instead of saying, "Tell me more," his eyes get wide and he marvels, "Really!?" He takes a break, and they have a picnic. They continue talking about sex, and it becomes his responsibility to serve as a surrogate sex educator. This goes on for a long time, but somehow the author manages to maintain our interest. American readers will be concerned when Angela describes her husband examining her with a torch. Don't be upset: it's a flashlight. But this incident reminded me of the first dirty joke I heard as a child. Little Johnny was going to the bathroom - er, to the loo, I think. He saw his mother naked in the bathtub, and noticed her vagina. "What's that?" asked Little Johnny. Blushing, the mother responded, "That's my tunnel." The next day he was taking a leak again when he saw his dad's dick, which was a lot bigger than his own. What's that?" asked Little Johnny. Taken aback, the father answered, "I call that my flashlight." Little Johnny was puzzled, but he zipped up and went to his room. Later at the dinner table, Johnny said, "Dad, why don't you shine your flashlight up Mom's tunnel?" I heard this story from an older boy, who had no idea what it meant. There may have been a priest or minister present at the dinner table in the joke. I think the cleric may have spit out his food, and that's what my na•ve sophisticate thought was funny. Anyway, this is an excellent story with a surprise ending. Ratings for "Frustration" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10