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"Possession" by EazinAlong (pleasant bdsm). Mink: 9, 9, 9
"Possession" by EazinAlong (EazinAlong@aol.com). Guest review by the reclusive Mike Ink. Bobby Vinton once did a song with the line "She wore blue velvet." In this story, she wears black velvet, at least a black velvet blindfold. Since this is ASSM, you'll not be surprised to hear that she is wearing little else midway through the story, except for some rope. She is curious about dominance and submission, so she and her lover are trying something new tonight. The result is a rather nice short tale of consensual sex with a mild D/S theme. The quote that summed things up for me was, "Your orgasm is your tribute to me," he gasped. "Cum loud and hard so I'll know you appreciate this." There are a few small technical flaws. Several words were misspelled, and an apparently new one was created. I don't think "orgastic" is really a word; the author should pick either orgiastic or orgasmic as he pleases. There are also two minor stylistic flaws, at least to my taste. First, the author ... overuses ... ellipses. He manages ... to pack ... 137 ... of them ... into 176 paragraphs ... counting dialog. That proved to be ... a little too much ... of a good thing. It was like talking ... to someone with asthma ... on a bad day. I would recommend more use of commas, semicolons, and such. Also, her blindfold wasn't the only thing that got me thinking of black velvet. Some of the adjectives were overly lush and stereotyped, again at least to my taste. Some sample phrases: "the smooth globes encased in the tight fabric," and "the valley between her orbs." The author is a competent wordsmith; his dialog is good, and the characterization is deft, but he needs to dial back the similes just a hair. In fairness, I'm criticizing some admittedly minor points, because this is a good story. It's short, reasonably hot, and just the thing for a quick light read. Recommended. Here's where I ease along to the numbers: Ratings for "Possession" Athena (technical quality): 9 (just ... too ... many ... ellipses) Venus (plot & character): 10 (simple and predictable, but deftly handled) Mink (appeal to reviewer): 9 (but you might rate it higher) |