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"The Housesitter" by Steve (sex with housesitter) Nick: 9, 9, 9
"The Housesitter" by Steve (sex with housesitter) Nick: 9, 9, 9 This story, written in three parts, is about a 17-year-old boy who is lucky enough to be provided with a good looking young 19-year-old "housesitter" by his mother, a busy career woman. Of course he "gets lucky" with her (it wouldn't be a sex story if he didn't, would it!) The principal characters, Brain and Renee, are well drawn; and this differentiates this from the average "stroke" story. The problem, however, is that the plot, which would have been adequate for "stroke", then lets the story down a little. There are one or two credibility issues. For example what on earth his mother thought she was doing leaving a 19-year-old blonde to keep her son out of trouble (something she singularly fails to do not sure whether or not a 17-year-old boy would actually need a house-sitter, but I'm happy to take legal advice on this. I felt that the story was a little awkward in places. The build-up to the surprises was overdone, and the the way Brain dumps his current girlfriend read like he was simply disposing of a character who suddenly didn't fit the plot. Still this is a writer whose heart is in the right place, and I look forward to more of his work. My own ratings are: 7 for technique (could do with better proofing) 7 for plot and character (more for character, less for plot) and 8 for personal appeal. Celestial ratings for "The Housesitter": Athena (technique) - 9 Venus (plot + character) - 8 Appeal to me - 8 |