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"Hooked on a Feeling" by Terry Jones (Cowgirl Sex) BillyG: 7, 7, 7
"Hooked on a Feeling" by Terry Jones (wld_rascal@hotmail.com). Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com). At root, this is a simple tale. Kate's a 22-year-old Texas girl who lives on a remote ranch with her father and brother and hasn't seen her high-school lover, Rob, in four years. Despite her ambivalence, he shows up and reawakens old memories and old desires. Rob wants her to go away with him, and Kate makes a tough decision. Actually, she makes repeated decisions, often contradictory. It's not clear that this is the end of the story, for it's left open for further developments. The story, simple as it is, takes too long to evolve. Early on there's too much weight given to too many characters who have little to do with the main theme. Trying to juggle all this detail, only to discover that it's superficial and tangential to the plot line, leaves one a bit irked. The details of what a girl wears - or doesn't wear, is germane to an erotic story. The details of a picnic table and the food it holds isn't. Too, the story suffers from inadequate punctuation. The failure to set off phrases adequately often leads to an awkward and sometimes confusing read. I'd suggest to the author that an editor would have helped. As it is, the story suffers from unnecessary detail, mercurial emotions, and poor punctuation. Ratings for "Hooked on a Feeling" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 7 BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 |