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"The Pond. The Oil. His Cock." by Ginger Vitis (romantic encounter)
5, 6, 6
"The Pond. The Oil. His Cock." by Ginger Vitis (morbid@cnct.com). I'm really not sure what the title of this story is. The title line says "She never called (True Story)," but the apparent title at the top of the first page contains the more enigmatic tripartite title. Go figure. Maybe the bit on the title line was sort of like a sound bite for a movie promo. Anyway, the story is about a guy who meets a girl and has a great time with her. At the end of the evening, she promises to call him; but (as the title line says), she never does. I don't want to be offensive, because I suspect that this story may be written in the author's second language; and I suspect I'd do a lot worse if I tried to write these reviews in something other than English. The sentences are very short, and there are phrases like "sharing a speacil momont," while the guy is "hearing" cutoff jeans. Then, "Suzy help his chin and stoked his arm." I guess that's possible.... Next, "There was no slow movements. He held her head as he proceeded to fuck her face. She was loving it." I really don't know what picture is supposed to be in my head while I read that passage. The sentences are short - almost cryptic; and the thoughts are actually beautiful and poignant. This would be a nice story, if it were expressed a little more clearly. As it is, the author seems to be stifled by an inability to express exactly what he/she wants to say. By all means, the author should modify this sentence: "Then with her hands she brought Tim to an explosive organism." Ouch! This author could learn a lot about English expression by working at this story until it says what it's supposed to say. Ratings for "The Pond. The Oil. His Cock." Athena (technical quality): 5 Venus (plot & character): 6 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6 |