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"She loves it when he goes down MMF" by MrC00L69 (slutty orgies)
4, 5, 5
"She loves it when he goes down MMF" by MrC00L69(mrc00l69@aol.com) >From a grammatical perspective, possibly the best thing about this story is that the author {correctly} uses the possessive case as the "subject" of gerunds. Repeatedly. As in "She sucked my cock with an obvious enthusiasm and enjoyed my shooting in her mouth," and "She also enjoyed my eating her pussy." I think the author does this because possessive rhymes with submissive - at least it would to a country western singer it would; and there is no such thing as a submissive case in the English language. {I think there is a submissive case in some Iranian dialects, but only for pronouns in the feminine gender.} Anyway, I thought this guy was going to be a grammar god or something, but then he declined to use capital letters at the beginning of sentences and to put apostrophes in conjunctions. He even skipped a period, which is unusual for a man.... Sue - that's her name - although that might actually be a misspelling for "she" - is an energetic woman - a veritable dynamo of sexual depravity. She takes particular delight in obtaining specimens of semen from attractive men and sharing the cum with her husband by having him suck on whatever orifice she used on that particular occasion. Hence, the title listed at the top of the story is "Cumeat," although the title in the title line is "She loves it when he goes down MMF." Anyway, here's what the narrator says when he and his wife sneak into the men's room: "When no one was looking we slipped inside. There were twelve men in there waiting for us and I could see most had bulges in their pants in anticipation of what was to come, and they weren't alone." Of course they weren't alone! There were twelve of them, all apparently standing at urinals, looking nonchalantly at the walls, so that they didn't notice the couple sneaking into the cubicle. Next the twelve guys take turns gang-banging the little lady, while the guy watches from his position at the head, which is a bit ambiguous, since that's what sailors call the toilet. Why they didn't just fuck on a table in the middle of the restaurant I'll never know. Maybe there were children or nuns on the premises. And then they have a bachelor party. The basic problem with this story is that it shows a lack of planning. It's like telling a joke by just listing the funny things, rather than building up to a climax - er, punchline. Ratings for "She loves it when he goes down MMF" Athena (technical quality): 4 Venus (plot & character): 5 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5 |