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"El Nino" by AnneArbor (romantic sex) 9.6, 8.5. 8.5
"El Nino" by Anne Arbor (AnneArbor@hotmail.com). Guest review by jubjub. --- Story Summary: Simple sex act between man and woman This story is short and to the point. It's little more than a man and a woman having a single act of sex. Good news--it doesn't violate any of Celeste's assumptions. Bad news--it's not as thrilling as it could be. Technically, the story has no major problems. It's written in first person present. There were a couple of questionable tense errors and the sentences were a little too long. This made the pace somewhat languid. In turn, the climax seemed a little flat. One more small snipe. The introduction seemed to offer a more complex story than there actually was. I think a little more relevance between the introduction and the main story could have gone a long way. Overall, a nice story. Shorter sentences could have provided a bit more punch. The sexual descriptions nicely done. Characterization is tough to put a number to because the story is so brief and concerned with the sex act. Still, if since a number is asked for, this is the number I assign to it. Please take it in that context. Ratings for "El Nino" Technical: 9.6 Tense error. Style a little too languid Characterization and Plot: 8.5 Characterization could have been punched up Appeal: 8.5 Lacked a cohesive thread. Not really a story. But decent sex. |