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* "Happily Ever After" by losgud (sexy in-law) 8, 8, 9
* "Happily Ever After" by losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Guest review by Mark Aster. Normal male, sexy sister-in-law staying over until she can find an apartment of her own, a strapless halter blouse, soft melting breasts, sighs, moans... The wife walks in on them at a crucial juncture (there's a pun hiding there), and stuff happens. The author says "I misplaced the pretense of plot and character development with this one", and that's mostly true; this is mostly straight and joyous fucking, with not much in the way of tension or teasing. The plot could have been milked for a slower and more reluctant and sexier buildup, but hey there's nothing wrong with straightforward coupling now and then, especially when everyone's having such a good time. There are some stylistic roughnesses here, although I have a hard time describing them helpfully. The author is literate, more literate than the average a.s.s.* poster, but something... Here's a passage: >The way my dancing tongue made the whole area quiver made >me want to keep on doing just that. But eventually I stopped. >I stopped to do you know what. I pulled down her panties with >the long slow touch, the public unveiling of the modern savior. It's not BAD. I don't think. Maybe it's just idiosyncratic. Maybe I'd come to love it by the end of the eighth or tenth story. But it was distracting the first time through this one somehow. There's no obvious antecedent for "just that", maybe? The "you know what" is sort of odd because we don't know exactly what? "public unveiling of the modern savior" just barely fails to make sense to me? But anyway! This is getting to be more of an analysis than a review, and this is the wrong venue for that. This is a story worth reading, short and sweet, considerable hot and sticky sex, nice breasts, nipples, lips, orgasms, and even just a hint of plot... I'll try to actually do numbers this time: Athena: 8 (two points for the oddities of diction) Venus: 8 (well, there ISN'T much plot and character) Mark: 9 (a pretty yummy story; it's hard to get a 10 out of me, even when I'm trying to use the numbers about like Celeste does!) |