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* "Donna Murrey: Night Nurse" by Leo Sanderson (sex with nurse)
7.5, 8, 7
* "Donna Murrey: Night Nurse" by Leo Sanderson. {Link: (Anon747@aol.com). I have a couple of mixed opinions about this piece. First let's talk about the theme/plot of the story. The narrator of the story, Ron, is involved in an accident and breaks both wrists. After a period of time he becomes involved with the night nurse, who has some interesting ideas of therapy. I remember years ago watching a rather tacky, but arousing porn flick about nurses. I don't know, I'm guessing the appeal is the outfit - maybe the white is a purity thing. The thrill seems to be about them ‘coming out' of their shell. So, the story has some potential. One minor flaw that should be fixed is the formatting. I'm talking about mainly punctuation here - sometimes no spaces after commas, sometimes a space before, sometimes a period instead. It's just slightly distracting, it draws your eye away from what you're reading. The writer has also tried to build a little tension by delaying the sexual activities, kind of a slow burn idea. It just could do with a few changes to make it work better. A few scenes seem to end very abruptly. Perhaps a few sentences here and there could fix it. (If the author is reading this - I'd be quite happy to give you a specific example of what I mean.) Now, it has been brought up a number of times that proofreading is important. I've found it is still possible to miss errors when I do my own, so it does help to have someone else do this. However, a spell check is a must, really. There are some obvious spelling errors which could be eliminated easily. As a matter of fact, most spell checks will help you pick up some of the formatting errors too. If you're into the naughty nurse thing though, most of these things likely won't bother you too much (okay, well it will bother some). I think actually with a little work, it could be a much better piece. Oh, and if I may be indulged a mini ‘pet peeve'.... avoid using cock sizes and bra sizes. I have been impressed by many things over the years with the men I have dated. Just having a large cock is not one of them. It may also be a cliche, but size doesn't matter. Frankly, it's other talents I'm much more interested in Ratings for "Donna Murrey: Night Nurse" Athena (technical quality): 7.5 Venus (plot & character): 8 Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 7 |