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"Janey's April" by Janey (mom's sexual emergence) 10, 10, 10
"Janey's April" by Janey (janey98@hotmail.com). "I didn't know you were interested in etymology." This story really begins when Janey's mother speaks those words. The 754 words before this sentence were just set-up. Shortly thereafter, the author makes a theological error, referring to the immaculate conception when she meant to say virgin conception. {The difference is that a person who is immaculately conceived is free of sin from the moment of conception but is very likely to have been produced through normal sexual intercourse. A virgin conception would occur without sexual intercourse. In Catholic doctrine, Jesus was the result of a virgin birth, but not an immaculate conception; Mary was the offspring of an ordinary birth, but was immaculately conceived. Exactly why I know this, I am not sure. However, I suspect that the last thing you expected in this issue of Celestial Reviews was a clarification of Catholic doctrine. I shoulda been a nun. In fact, I often have that very thought whenever my domestic life gets to be too much....} What I really meant to say in the preceding paragraph is that Janey was overcome by the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in April, and so her mother (who had discovered her daughter's literary hobby) wrote that month's a.s.s. installment for her. In her story Janey's Mom describes her own sexual emergence. She grew up in Ireland, where she received a conservative moral education from Irish nuns - a phrase which would evoke sarcasm from Phil Donahue. After graduation, she and an equally virgin friend went on a tour of the continent. Her basic plan was to get laid. The first encounter during her cultural exchange program is with an American. It is not a pleasant one - too mechanical and impersonal. The second is with a Frenchman, and it is wonderful. {She somehow met the one French guy who bathed regularly - a young skier named Jean Claude, who had Olympic aspirations. My impression is that the author meant for this person to be Jean Claude Killy, the Olympic skier; but for this to be the case he would have had to have been about 11 years old during the sexual activities. I don't know who the American is supposed to be. An insensitive, egotistical rich man named Donald. Hmmm.... } When her traveling companion hears what Mary Elizabeth has been doing with Jean Claude, she says she wants to watch. But that's another story - well, actually it's the second half of this one. What we eventually learn here is that Janey's Mom is a magnanimous person - and Janey had thought she was merely monogamous! Ratings for "Janey's April" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |