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* "Cocktail Table" by Sue (orgy) 10, 10, 10
*"Cocktail Table" by Sue. Sue accepts an invitation to a party from some graduate students who admire her literary work. After the initial fuss over her arrival, everyone sits around in a quiet circle with their hands on their laps while Sue reads "Slippery When Wet" to the group. Everyone gets turned on by the splendid reading, and the spokesman for the group suggests that Sue may want to leave before the ensuing orgy begins. Sue chooses to stay. Actually, Sue tells it better; so read the story. I shall now respond to the one unanswered question in Sue's story: the plural of "clitoris" is "clitorises". Interestingly enough, my spellcheck recognized this plural, even though it failed to recognize "anally," "Sistine," "dominatrix," and "supermodel." I verified this plural in my unabridged dictionary, where the word is found right after "cliticize" (the meaning of which may surprise you) and on the same page with a picture of a cloister. Talk about a screwed up value system! The dictionary defines clit, clitoris, and cliticize (and 101 pages later gives three definitions for cunt, which happen to come right before Mario Cuomo - now there's a coincidence for you), but it gives a picture of a cloister instead of a clitoris! I mean, how many readers in all of history have looked at the definition of a cloister and said, "Damn! I wish I had a picture to clear this up for me!" Sorry about the digression; but Sue did raise the original question in her story. {Well, now that I have already digressed, I might mention that I did a double-take during proofreading - 101 pages of definitions between clitoris and Cuomo? Yes, that's right. Yesterday a prissy student came up to my desk and told me that another student - who was disgruntled over her grade - had called me "the c-word." I asked her to be more specific, but she couldn't utter "the c- word" out loud. She doesn't realize how truly ambiguous her accusation was!} This was a very enjoyable story. I have only one problem with it, and that problem is akin to the play within a play theme that often occurs in Shakespeare. When Sue has six guys shoot their jism all over her body (never mind the cunt juices that are flowing like milk and honey) - when she gets her pastry frosted by six guys at once, whose record is she breaking? (Not mine, certainly!) She compares it to the four guys whose snorkels she cleared in "Slippery When Wet," but that's a work of fiction, and is recognized as such even in the present work of fiction. Sue herself is actually a most demure person who probably isn't even named Sue and almost certainly has not participated in Onan's Olympics with more than two male partners at the same time. So what we have here is a fiction within a fiction and how do we know that even that is not fiction? In other words, that that is not is not that that is. (I was tempted to replace "in other words" with "that is" in the preceding sentence, but then the thought would have become confusing.) Sorry. Even though I am a most cunning linguist I just never had a chance to say that last sentence in a meaningful context before. If you're ever in danger of premature orgasm, try repeating and understanding that sentence, and it will probably keep you from coming at least until your partner catches up with you. Ratings for "Cocktail Table" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |