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"Jason's Power" by EzRiter (mind control) 10, 5, 3
"Jason's Power" by EzRiter (posted by Don Elis dee@onramp.net). Guest review by Stephen Peters (sxjames@aol.com). This story is a classroom example of bad sex writing. I know the preceding statement isn't the nicest way to start a review, but after spending the better part of a day trying to come up with a clever opening paragraph I figured a forthright statement of the truth would be most appropriate. To fully understand why, read on. Briefly, "Jason's Power" is an MC (mind control) story told from the point of Jason's lover/sex-slave Cindy. As the story opens, Cindy is crying (according to the author, for three days straight(!)) because no one showed up at her birthday party. Cindy is overweight and unpopular, but her new next door neighbor (Jason) appears and offers to cure her weight problem by hypnotizing her. Over the next couple of weeks Cindy looses the weight, and in sort of an 'oh, by the way' fashion falls for Jason -- realizing how much she would love to be dominated by him. From then on the tale interweaves two different themes. The first is 'Jason the heroic/kind dominator', and it reads like a genuine MC romance. Jason is kind and sweet, never forcing himself on Cindy, promising to love and protect her. There is even a interesting subplot involving Cindy sister's lesbianism. The second theme is 'Jason the virile, adolescent MC stud' in which he hypnotizes, fucks, and turns into his sex slave the nextdoor neighbor, the nextdoor neighbor's daughter, Cindy's sister, the prettiest girls in school, etc. ad nauseam. Back and forth the tale goes, switching between his orgies and her love, until it ends with Jason, in a fit of anger, using (and abusing) his power against a teacher at school. Cindy intervenes and gets Jason to undo the damage, thus showing the power of love. Okay, I'll give the author credit for trying to take this story beyond simple, pure domination. The idea of a girlfriend having to control her MC boyfriend is an intriguing idea, one worth exploring. But every time I began to get the least bit interested in the story or characters the author kept coming up with some of the most banal and formula sex scenes I've read in quite a while. Jason is blessed with a 'monster cock' (the author's words) and he uses it... well, like a teenage boy in a sex story. Here he is with the nextdoor neighbor lady (Mrs. Parker). Cindy is watching as Mrs. Parker says: "Now, Jason, please, stick it in me. Like that... yes, oh, yes. God, you are big. Fuck me with that big cock...Uhhhh." Mrs. Parker was very vocal in her lovemaking and while I won't repeat all of it, I can tell you it was wonderfully wild and made me very hot. "Good, Jason, so good..." she whimpered as my hand slipped under my blouse to caress my nipple. I was already a B Cup and I was still growing. "Yes, Jason, hold my arms down. Slam me hard, baby. Hard! Fuck me with that monster!" The above is typical. It doesn't matter which hole Jason is aiming for; he just pounds that ol' monster home and the girls orgasm, sometimes without Jason having to move a muscle. In the course of this story the author manages to violate at least a half a dozen of Celeste's rules, to the clear determent of the story telling. As an example, the one scene that truly held my interest occurred when Jason hypnotized Patti Parker (Mrs. Parker's daughter), allowing Patti to describe in great detail her dream of submission. However, towards the end of this scene Jason (for some unfathomable reason) has her undress, and the reader is treated to.... "What are your measurements?" "35dd - 22 - 36, master. All natural, too." All the author succeeded in doing was removing my attention from Patti's vivid dream and focusing it on the fact that she has really, really big mammeries. Not a real good idea. The above is forgivable, but what follows next isn't. In the opening paragraph the author claims this is a true story. Yep, a 'true' mind control story. I don't know what the author was thinking, but there is nothing about this tale that even remotely rings true, and all that opening statement did was irritate the heck out of me. It was as if the author was saying "the readers are really gullible and won't know the difference." Wrong. If the author had stated up front that this was an MC stroke fantasy I'd be a lot more forgiving. I may have even been in the frame of mind to enjoy the plot, bad sex and all. But as it was the lack of honesty robbed me of whatever enjoyment I may have gotten from this tale. -- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review -- Ratings for "Jason's Power" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 5 (mostly on the strength of the idea) Stephen (appeal to reviewer): 3 |