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* "Constants" by Friar Dave (Payton Place Redux) 10, 10, 10
* "Constants" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). {Story is sometimes spelled "Constance" in the title line.} {Story Link: not supposed to enjoy thinking about, especially if one is a demure, respected English teacher and mother of two fine young girls, even if one moonlights as a reviewer of smut for an Internet newsgroup. But as much as I hate to admit it, I enjoyed this story. Mind you - I do NOT think behaviors like those in this story are socially responsible, and I would recommend very strong penalties (including summary defenstration) for any adults fooling around with kids this way; but this story certainly did give me a tingle in a nice place - as well as having an indirect effect on my husband's late-night happiness. In real life, I would urge people who feel the urge to do things like this to see a counselor, go to church more often, or sublimate by masturbating to the work of their favorite a.s.s. author. The story focuses on what I would call a couple of really dysfunctional families - husbands and wives who are dissatisfied with each other, kids whose parents have lost contact with them, and people with value systems that have undergone serious deterioration. In other words, the kind of people we find on American soap operas and in the royal families of Europe. You see - the title is a pun. "Constants" are things that stay the same across time or across situations. Constance is also the name of the main character in the story. The words are homonyms: they sound alike. You'll have to read the story to find out what this has to do with fucking the neighbor boy while his father is watching through a telescope and then screwing the owner of the local restaurant while one's husband is breaking up with his mistress and getting fucked by a local teenager while he's recovering from a drinking binge. And that's just for starters. It's a sad world in which Constance lives; but everybody is too busy screwing everybody else to survey their dismal situation. I like to say that bit about "surveying the dismal situation," because one of my English teachers told me those were the worst combination of words John Milton ever wrote. I just wanted this review to end on an up note by pointing out that on his worst day this author can write better than John Milton on his best day. Talk about dysfunctional people.... Ratings for "Constants" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |