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"Hospitality" by Yarblack (slut wife) 8, 10, 10
"Hospitality" by Yarblack (yarblack@aol.com). Guest review by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com). I have a love/hate relationship with this author. I love the care he takes to develop his plot and characters. I love the way he can make a slut wife story seem believable, tangible and even desirable. Take for instance "Hospitality" where we have a happily married couple who as a favor allow a hot stud to stay in their house so he can attend college. This computer geek is tall, well built, handsome, and believe it or not -- decent and shy. Alana, Kevin's wife, actually has to WORK at getting Toni to fulfill her and her husband's fantasies. The summary doesn't sound so believable does it? That's because all the wonderful details, hints, and personality quirks are missing -- things Yarblack supplies in abundance. Shoot, the sex is even hot, which is a pretty good quality to have in this newsgroup. The hate part comes in because of the TRIVIAL problems that prevent this story from being a truly orgasmic read. For one there is no blank line between paragraphs (Not necessarily a point reduction but it tends to set the story on that slippery slope). There are a few misused words and ambiguous sentences that I might have overlooked if those were the only problems with this story. But alas, again the biggest problem with this story is with the formatting which causes the story to read like this paragraph: Readable but distracting. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to have a truly wonderful story, something that on plot, character, and appeal (oh yea, and the sex) I'd be recommending to Celeste as a top 20 candidate, and have to give it anything less than a perfect score. So it's not going to get the perfect score. It's not going to appear on the top 20. But it is good and it is hot and it is worth trying to read through the frustrating formatting. Ratings for "Hospitality" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 10 Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10 |