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"Pool Girl" by Billy Bob (older-younger affair). Gandmar: 9, 10, 10 -
BillyG: 10, 6, 6
"Pool Girl" Billy Bob same story.... } Billy Bob's story is one of cheating and an older-younger affair. Bill, a 37-year-old man with a wife and kids meets Heather, a 17-year- old girl on-line. It is established quickly that they live in the same town and a meeting is arranged at the local bookstore. It turns out that Bill has a new pool and Heather works summers for a pool maintenance company. Guess what? Yep. In the guise of helping Bill with his pool, Heather shows up at his house and straight away there's a mutual seduction. Graphic description of hot sex follows. Oh yes. Heather has a sister. Guess again. The story suffers from lack of plausibility and character development. If Bill's wife and kids have any role in his life, we don't learn of it. They're props at best. I suppose contrived best describes the plot line. Technically, the story's well written. It's easier when making suggestions to suggest the aid of an editor. This story doesn't need that so much as more depth. Mostly, it reads like a stroke story. Older guy boinks younger girl. Period. No message and no emotions. Ratings for "Pool Girl" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 6 BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 6 |