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"Fun with Dick and Jane" by Frank McCoy (kiddy lit pedophile
adventure) 10, 6, 6 {or} 10, 3, 4
"Fun With Dick and Jane" by Frank McCoy (mccoyf@millcomm.com). Guest review by Stephen Peters (sxjames@aol.com). You know the old saying that goes: "I only read Playboy for the articles"? Well, at the risk of receiving the same derisive laugh I can honestly say I read Frank McCoy's stories not so much for arousal as for the assumption- bending fantasy world he creates. It's a place of utterly guilt free sex, complete with memorable characters, humor and even a bit of satire. And, when it work, it *works*. To this day "The Pedophile" -- Frank's skewed (and hilarious) version of a slightly(?) naive woman out to get her man -- remains high on my personal favorites list. However, this time out Frank doesn't so much write a story as he tells a joke. A long, long adolescent joke. As the title suggests, this story revolves around a take off of the old "Dick and Jane" reading primers that were (until the late sixties) used to teach basic reading in public elementary schools. With their simple two or three word sentences and constant repetition they were as boring as all get out -- but they did teach kids to read. Of course, even in the real world the primers taught much more than reading. As the author rightly points out: "Miranda admired the way the book managed not only to teach reading, but loving, fairness, reciprocation, respect for your parents, sex, and family values, all in two small volumes. The woman had never realized until now how much books like these helped instill community values and morals in children, by showing them what was considered normal in the community." You can guess what kind of 'community values and morals' this author has in mind. At any rate, after Jane (Miranda's daughter) asks why a man's penis is named after her brother 'Dick' (one cannot accuse the author of lacking a sense of humor) Miranda dusts off her set of reading primers. Low and behold, it's a version of "Dick and Jane" (complete with IMAGINARY watercolor illustration and the trademark two or three word sentences) that teaches the little ones the joys of incestuous kiddie-sex. And, for most of the rest of the story, the reader looks over Jane's shoulder as she reads them. I'm sure that while writing this little tale Frank was laughing all the way. And I must admit that the thought of a first grade reader featuring kids that put their hands down each others pants got a chuckle out of me...for the first few pages. But it goes on. And on. And on. As a joke for adolescent boys this is great stuff. In fact, I would lay odds that at this very moment a bunch of ten year old boys are sitting around a bed or campfire or kitchen table somewhere telling bathroom jokes and snickering over the thought of Dick fucking Jane. I know *I* did when I was that age (note however -- I wasn't imaginative enough to include Spot. Oh well). As a full fledged sex story however, it just doesn't make it. To be fair I'm pretty sure that the author did not intend this to be a serious piece of erotica, and if I were into little girls getting pregnant I suspect this tale would have more appeal. But for this reader "Dick and Jane" is basically a juvenile joke that I long ago got my laugh from. -- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review -- Technical Quality: 10 (wish *I* could write this well) Plot and Character: 3 (not really what this story should be graded on) Personal Enjoyment: 4 (I'm going back to read HFD) |