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* "Novice" by Wollstonecraft (sex in the convent) 10, 10, 10
* "Novice" by Wollstonecraft (an285729@anon.penet.fi ). The events in this story probably didn't really happen. If they did, we surely would have seen the participants on Donahue or one of the other talk shows by now. Actually, there's a good chance that this was written under a pseudonym by Donahue himself, to get even with those nuns for swatting his cute little ass when he talked during mass as a child. Anyway, the novice (a young woman aspiring to become a nun) looks out the window of her convent one evening and sees a young, wretched, homeless lad shivering on the ground. What can she do? Her charity demands that she invite him inside (through the window, of course). But alas, sleeping on the cold floor would hardly be better than sleeping on the ground and there's only one bed. Charity would demand sharing the bed. But double alas, his tattered clothes would soil the bed sheets; and so - cleanliness being next to godliness (more literally than usual, in this case) - she invites the young man into her bed clad only in a humble gown that she bestows on him. Recognizing that this might be a source of temptation, she cautiously enjoins him to be chaste. The good lad replies thus: "I would not press an unholy advantage as a result of your compassion, Sister, nor would I be so foolish as to risk the wrath of the Lord by despoiling His servant's perfect offering." Ah, 'tis the life of a saint we have described here - albeit a saint whose grasp of both theology and sexual reproduction seriously sucks. Will the young novice remain firm in her commitment to all that is holy or will the pull of the flesh impinge upon her cloistered life? This sounds a lot like "The Sound of Music", doesn't it? I don't want to reveal too much of the plot to you; there may be a few events in it that you haven't guessed yet. I enjoyed this story very much. It's almost as if Geoffrey Chaucer has returned through cyberspace with a modern version of "The Nun's Tale." Of course, real nuns don't really do things like this; they're almost as straight as English teachers and librarians - but less likely to be offended by this story, since they seldom surf a.s.s.. The falsehoods in this story probably originate in this author's primordial urge to wreak vengeance upon his childhood teachers, who possibly caught him masturbating during music class and made him stop or used the more common ploy of telling him that jerking his gherkin would make his voice get high and he'd have to sing with the girls. This story is filled with raw passion, but it lacks some elements of authenticity that would make it fully believable. For one thing, I happen to know that first vespers do not occur in convents at the time of day when they do in this story. And besides, if people did do things like this, someone sure as hell would be struck dead by lightning. Or something. Ratings for "Novice" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |