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* "Soft Ball or My Best Position" by Taria (shower sex)
10, 10, 10
* "Soft Ball or My Best Position" by Taria (Taria29c@aol.com). Guest review by Cellist. {Note from Celeste: This was reposted as a Valentine for M1ke Hunt.} Neither Fiddler nor Piper were available for this review, so Celeste turned it over to me, Cellist. The story is about a sexy young lady who plays second-base on a coed softball team. I have played second bass in the past, but now I play cello. The story takes place in the romantic environment of a sweaty softball game. One day a sorta cute guy shows up as a substitute, but he wants to play second base, which position is already taken by the narrator, as I have said. His name is Mike Hunter, but with some modification of the name he hopes some day to become a short story writer of sorts. I guess I should stop beating around the bush and come out and say it: this is a parody of a Mike Hunt sex story. As a result of some incredible coincidences Mike and the young female baseball enthusiast have to shower together; and as fate would have it, they fuck their mutual brains out. Fuck! Now there's an interesting word. It's a word redolent of baseball imagery. That's why Taria chose this scenario for her story. In a story about softball this word and its immediate derivatives can express any of the following: Greetings How the fuck are you? Immensity Look at the size of that mother on first base. {fucker understood} Insignificance That little fucker can't hit for shit. Dismay Safe? The fuck he was! Trouble Well, I guess we're fucked now. Aggression Fuck you! {brings automatic ejection and a fine}. Safety Don't fuck with the big mother on first base. Disgust Fucking Celeste! This review is stupid! Confusion Where the fuck is the ball? Synonym for "very" This story is fucking good. Difficulty I don't understand this fucking game. Despair "Fucked Again by Celeste" by Mike Hunt. Argumentation You goddam motherfucking son-of-a-bitch cocksucker! {And I don't like you either!} Fraud I got fucked by the umpire on the third strike. Incompetence The umpire fucked up again. Distraction He was fucking with a fan behind the dugout. Displeasure What the fuck is going on here? Disbelief That was an unbefuckinglieveable call! Disbelief, dismay, confusion, etc. Fuck! What's my wife doing in this bar? Inevitable defeat We're fucked! {because the other team is fucking good!} Retaliation Up your fucking ass! {automatic ejection and fine}. Paradoxical impossibility The umpire can go fuck himself! {But how?} Telling time The game didn't start till 8-fucking-o'clock. Physics I can't hit the fucking curve ball. Maternal instinct-- Goddam motherfucker! {automatic ejection and fine}. Sexuality Holy fuck! Where did you learn to do that? Taria's best use of the F-word is her double-entendre reference to Mr. Hunter as a "pretty sneaky fuck." On the downside, her most serious faux pas was saying that Mike gave her cunt the two-finger Boy Scout salute: the Boy Scout use three fingers - ask a girl scout (obviously, because their salute is with three fingers also.) Taria doesn't write quite like Mike Hunt, but who does? This is both an excellent parody and a superb story in its own right. Ratings for "Soft Ball" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |