|
Return To the Celestial Review (This does NOT open a new window) Return To the Index (This does NOT open a new window) Note, to make reading multi-part stories easier, story links (links with dejanews.com or www.qz.to, NOT the review or profile links) will open up a new browser window. When you are done reading the story, or section of the story simply CLOSE the story window. |
|
"Frasier Crane At Your Service" by Martin4Life (sitcom parody)
{No rating given}
"Frasier Crane At Your Service" by Martin4Life (Martin4Life@yahoo.com). {I'm terribly sorry, but I cannot recall who sent me this review, and it has no name attached to it.} "Frasier Crane At Your Service" rather overdevelops a nice sitcom-like idea. A series of incidents start when Roz accidentally ingests a love potion (from Simpsons crossover Apu) and, after giving Frasier a quick blow job, falls in love with him. Niles tries the same potion on Daphne (from the television show, not, alas, the Erotic Mind Control author) at first with no luck, but eventually with success. Both couples get laid happily ever after. Frasier's following Roz to a train station to prevent her from running away to New York is a cute bow to a movie cliché. Some of the dialogue is very funny and captures the spirit of the television program well. The sex seines are rather pedestrian and occasionally quite implausible even within the genre's conventions. The story is probably too long for the amount of real action. The technical quality of the story detracts considerably. Some of this may be due to English not being the author's first language (although I wish my second language was as good), but most faults can be found in many other stories whose authors have less excuse. Writers of dialogue should learn that not every quote has to have "he said" appended to it. Indeed, if a new paragraph marks each change of speaker, often no identification is necessary. In this story, even with the constant "he said"ing, lack of proper paragraphing makes it difficult to follow who is saying what at times. The author also needs to enliven his vocabulary so that the same words and phrases do not show up in too close proximity. The author asks us to keep a lookout for more of his stories. We should, but I hope he will polish his technique in the meantime and edit, edit, edit. {No rating given} |