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"The Lens as Mirror" by Adhara Rawcalyn (photography and sex).
MichaelD: 7, 7, 7
"The Lens as Mirror" by Adhara Rawcalyn (eros_dreams@hotmail.com). Guest review by MichaelD. The narrator, who goes unnamed, is a married 43-year-old woman; her husband is a professional photographer who specializes in artistic nudes. The spark seems to have long since gone out of their marriage, until the day she has him take a formal shot for her company brochure. Putting his wife, for once, in place of the "nineteen-year-old nymphs I'd grown to hate," he discovers a side of her he hasn't seen before. Enraptured with the images, he decides to exhibit them, and does so to general acclaim. After the gallery opening, they return home and make love like they haven't since they were newlyweds. The idea for this story is certainly interesting and fresh, but the execution is lacking in some spots. Too much is told rather than shown, especially the elements of their marriage. During the photo shoot, as the husband makes surprised comments, the narrator gives us a running explanation of what they mean to her. I think the story would have been more effective with an opening scene (before the photo shoot) to help us appreciate the state of their relationship. I also found the photo shoot scene abbreviated, especially since it forms the basis for the entire story. Just as we're beginning to understand the emotions of the situation, it ends. Another problem I had was that the author blithely jumps over the several- month gap between the photo shoot and the galley opening. What happens during this time, after the husband has unexpectedly rediscovered his wife? We aren't told, and the effect is somewhat jarring. As a married man myself, I find it difficult to believe that having suddenly realized that his wife is just as beautiful as his models, the husband would wait months before acting on it. The author certainly exerted herself in this story, but at times it seemed to me like she was working too hard. Some of the diction is more ornate and extravagant than it needs to be, sometimes leaving the emotions of the scenes overloaded. And, in trying so hard to write elegantly, the author misses a few glaring grammatical errors (run-ons and dangling participles) that detract from the story's effect. I do like this story. It's nice to see something interesting and erotic that doesn't involve hardbodied teenagers, and the theme (that older woman can be as beautiful as younger ones) is a healthy one. I think, however, that this could have been much better. With a little extra work in revision, it could be a memorable piece. Ratings for "The Lens as Mirror" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 7 MichaelD (appeal to reviewer): 7 |