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"Wet" by November Tuesday (a woman scorned) 9, 8, 8
"Wet" by November Tuesday (november919@hotmail.com). This story is written from the perspective of a woman who is upset because her lover is interested in having sex with her solely for his own gratification. She realizes that he really doesn't give a damn about her pleasure or her feelings except as they relate to making him have a better time in the sack. There's a lot of that sort of thing in the world. If you don't believe me, just watch Jerry Springer. In a cover letter the author said that of all her stories this one is closest to her heart, because it really happened. The experience was really hurtful to her, and she is justifiably proud of the way she dealt with it. She says she is not a great fiction writer, but she knows a great story when she lives through it. Actually, the author is not all that far from being a really good writer. Her emotions and insights are real and understandable. People who "have already been there" will easily believe that they "know just what she means." The problem is that the author (a) went through this experience, (b) was enlightened by it, (c) wrote down just how she would describe her insights to her lover, and (e) shared this narrative with us. What she omitted was (d), putting the story into a framework that enables US to get a good look at the situation. We are neither her nor her boyfriend, and the story doesn't quite give us a basis for looking at what is happening. I strongly urge authors to avoid the "I and you" narrative. It doesn't work unless the author uses quotations really effectively or supplies some other rationale – such as letting us read the letters the protagonists are writing to each other. As "I and you" narratives go, this one is pretty good. I think the main thing this author could do to improve her writing is to look at who her real audience is _when she posts the story to the public_.. As a personal catharsis, this story is already almost perfect. As a short story, it has room for improvement. Ratings for "Wet" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 |