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"Cantaloupe" by Art Montage (sex with tutor) 8, 8, 8
"Cantaloupe" by Art Montage (dechant@northnet.org). Do antelope eat cantaloupe? The answer doesn't matter. It's a light-hearted sentence designed to help an oriental woman learn to pronounce English more clearly. The story itself focuses on more metaphorical melons. The basic plot has a guy tutoring an oriental student and his wife, but the male student is late quite often. Since the woman doesn't want the tutor to get angry and stop tutoring them, she apologizes by giving him some good sex. As Confucius say, "A tutor will not leave if he is cumming." The story has three main problems. First, it relies excessively on descriptions and explanations rather than action, especially in the earlier part of the story. Second, there are some grammatical problems. One that I found annoying was the splintering of compound words into two separate words (e.g., "heart felt" for "heartfelt," "work books" for "workbooks"). Finally, I thought the ending was a bit abrupt. Overall, this is a pretty good story that could have become even better with a little more proofreading. Ratings for "Cantaloupe" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot & character): 8 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 |