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"Funeral Games" by Nick (sex at Dad's funeral) 9, 10, 10
"Funeral Games" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). As far as I know, Dr. Kevorkian does not write stories for this newsgroup. At least not under his real name. Nor did my mother's friend's daughter's father- in-law, who died suddenly during a recent softball game at a retirement community. The old guy had hit a solid line drive into the outfield, driving in the winning run for his team; and he dropped dead as he rounded first base. My mother's friend thought this was a horrible event, but my mother failed to see her point. The guy was going to die someday, said Mom; and why not go out on a high note? I told this story to my husband; and he said if my mother was right, then he'd like to die in the midst of sexual intercourse with me. This sounded inconvenient, to say the least. But then he recalled for me the old anti- Catholic accusation that several popes have died while in the act with whores or mistresses. This was getting off the track, and so I switched the conversation to a story about voyeuristic threesome that I had recently reviewed. Later I got to thinking: why couldn't a working girl carry Dr. K to his logical conclusion? Instead of simply assisting suicide, Kevorkian girls could literally fuck a person to death. It's so crazy, it just might work! Major religions might object; but most of them consider suicide to be at least as sinful as fornication. The only "shortcoming" I can see is that maybe the process might take a while or maybe it might not be fatal. Indeed, perhaps the client might decide not to terminate this baleful existence after all. Anyway, in the present story, Brian has gone to his father's funeral, where he meets his father's most recent model. I guess I forgot to mention that the old guy had been an artist. {That stuff about the old geezer at the softball game and the Kevorkian girls had nothing to do with this story.} In fact, his father's hobby makes a good case for inserting better punctuation in the following sentence: "He liked painting nudes and looking at Laura I expected that she had been 'as God made her' when he died." The sentence should read, "He liked painting nudes; and looking at Laura, I expected that she had been 'as God made her' when he died." The original sentence suggests a compound verb rather than a compound-complex sentence. As the story evolves, we learn that Dad had been hard at work at the moment of his demise. In ancient Greece, there used to be magnificent feasts and athletic contests to celebrate the death of fallen heroes. Even today, at Irish wakes people often engage in festive drinking and merrymaking to celebrate the passing of a friend. Relevant to the present story – what better way to celebrate a the passing of a lecherous parent than to imitate his style? And in Dad's studio, no less. Ratings for "Funeral Games" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 |